The cost of bullying
May 17th 2007 06:16
I have been watching the story of the young man who was bullied for two years in primary school with great personal interest. Not from the point of being the one who bullied him but from someone who was in almost the same position as him. I went through two years of primary school hell with this so called friend who tried to control and manipulate me. He went to the point of not only sending me hate mail but posting mail to parents in the neighbourhood purportedly from me saying that I was being physically abused by my mother. Of course he denied it when confronted but what he did set off this commotion by having people from welfare come out to the high school and interview teachers, siblings, their friends trying to ascertain the truth. Of course nothing was found but it wasn't nice. During those two primary school years I was manipulated (mind games mostly by one day wanting to be a friend the next day avoiding me, calling me names and just being a total prick) punched, spat on, abused as well as almost goaded into a fist fight with a kid who had decided that he wanted to fight me. Fortunately the smart but timid soul I was wasn't ever going to throw that first punch. Did my parents talk to the school principal? Yes. They spoke to him and his half-assed side kick and nothing happened. Life went on and so did the mind games and manipulation. Those two years should have been a sprint into high school. Instead it became a matter of endurance.
I couldn't help by watching this poor pathetic young man who has taken to living in a room with blacked out windows and think to myself "For the past eleven years, his parents couldn't have done more than to just let him slide to where and what he is now?" I'd like to know if this young man has ever gone through intensive counselling and if he has why after eleven years he is still deemed "unemployable"? Now I don't know the whole story admittedly but there have been others who have gone through more and for longer periods who have picked themselves up and showed the world that they can be victors and not a victim.
I am not angry with him, I am angry that he has decided to let these bullies win. Even after eleven years he still lets them control his life. I learned long ago not to let anybody determine who I am or what my destiny is. My victory is in the fact that these people who tried to drag me down and walk on me taught me the greatest lessons in life. They taught me how to treat others with respect simply because I know what it's like to be ostracised, humiliated, teased and bullied. I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone else. It is a lesson that he has either hasn't been taught or decided to wallow in his misery simply because his parents have let him travel down that road.
The fact that he has now gained quite a handy compensation out of his experience doesn't help anyone much either. All it will do is open the floodgates of people who claimed to be bullied in primary and high school and just clog up the court system with frivolous cases. I'm not sure how someone could measure the extent bullying played in someones life. From my experience of being in that situation I wouldn't sue. It doesn't make me a better or less bitter person. I hope in the end whatever money the family receives it goes towards his rehabillitation so one day he can claim that victory that he so desperately deserves.
I couldn't help by watching this poor pathetic young man who has taken to living in a room with blacked out windows and think to myself "For the past eleven years, his parents couldn't have done more than to just let him slide to where and what he is now?" I'd like to know if this young man has ever gone through intensive counselling and if he has why after eleven years he is still deemed "unemployable"? Now I don't know the whole story admittedly but there have been others who have gone through more and for longer periods who have picked themselves up and showed the world that they can be victors and not a victim.
I am not angry with him, I am angry that he has decided to let these bullies win. Even after eleven years he still lets them control his life. I learned long ago not to let anybody determine who I am or what my destiny is. My victory is in the fact that these people who tried to drag me down and walk on me taught me the greatest lessons in life. They taught me how to treat others with respect simply because I know what it's like to be ostracised, humiliated, teased and bullied. I wouldn't want to wish that on anyone else. It is a lesson that he has either hasn't been taught or decided to wallow in his misery simply because his parents have let him travel down that road.
The fact that he has now gained quite a handy compensation out of his experience doesn't help anyone much either. All it will do is open the floodgates of people who claimed to be bullied in primary and high school and just clog up the court system with frivolous cases. I'm not sure how someone could measure the extent bullying played in someones life. From my experience of being in that situation I wouldn't sue. It doesn't make me a better or less bitter person. I hope in the end whatever money the family receives it goes towards his rehabillitation so one day he can claim that victory that he so desperately deserves.
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Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
I saw this on the news recently myself. It really is a tough call because I don`t believe that $1 million is going to change things... at the end of the day you can go to bed between silk sheets but it`s just you and your thoughts that share the night. It won`t fix the problem, nor make it suddenly disappear. I just wish that more teachers were trained to look out for such cases and be able to deal with them when they start so that these things don`t manifest like that.
You cannot get back 11 years of your life.
ash