Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - by Jas

Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - October 2006

VEGETABLES GONE BAD! Part 1

October 23rd 2006 18:10

VEGETABLES GONE BAD! Part 1

Juan the Soccerball Ham looked at me pleadingly. I don't know how he did this as he's just a lump of cured meat and has no eyebrows. We sat there together - freezing and exhausted - just behind a big jar of mustard pickles. I had to curb impure thoughts about Juan between 2 thick slices of sour-dough. He was my friend but by-gum did he look succulent.
We both wanted out but we knew that beyond the door of the Kelvinator was a seething ,merciless horde of demon-posessed celery just waiting for us to slip up.
Juan was getting panicky and he asked me to roll him a ciggie but I spat at him. "You're not going to pollute my chicken drumettes with cigarette smoke...you ham - you stupid, stupid ham!", I cried. Juan rolled the two places where his eyes would have been if he had them.

Outside there was a disturbing sound - like rats scratching the backs of Cornflake boxes - no - Weet-bix boxes. The tumult just beyind the fridge door was driving me mad. I wanted to burst out - ham in one hand, lit cigarette in the other and open a can of creamy whoop-ass on the crispy vegetables who now belonged to the Dark Lord. We had to come up with a plan to regain control of the kitchen - it was nearly dinner-time.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Posted By: Jas - Category: Existentialism

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October 2006

2 Posts

September 2006

1 Posts

August 2006

2 Posts