The Ashram
November 4th 2007 04:18
He stole my bread first!
Today when I was taking a piss in my cell like room a monkey came into my room and stole my loaf of bread. When I chased him he scampered just a few feet away and stopped, taunting me with my delicious, freshly baked and purchased loaf. It was still warm. When I lunged again he climbed onto the roof so he could watch me while he ate my loaf. I knew he was male by the large red sack between hanging between his legs, inviting me like to pummel it like a scrotumnal speed ball. It was more of a dodge ball cause I couldn’t get near it.
In the Ashram where I am staying people are very kind and forgiving, even of cheeky monkeys. So I forgave him, went back to my room and grabbed a banana and ate that in front of him. He stopped munching on the loaf and stared at me with a look of startled disbelief. I held it up and offered it to him before I took each bite and he would wiggle his head around in frustration and make little chirping noises.
When I was finished the banana I walked smugly back into my room, and only then I noticed the look of contempt the guru was giving me. From his window he couldn‘t see the loaf - he thought I was just a monkey taunting bastard. I realised how ridiculous it would sound trying to claim that the monkey started it. I have been meditating here for 3 weeks, trying to achieve a deeper understanding of the cosmos, but I was being sucked backed down the evolutionary tree by a primate. Oh well.
Alicia and I got up at 4:20 this morning to see the sun rise over the Himilayas. We sat wrapped in blankets practicing pranayama - focused breath - in an ancient Hindu temple.
We travelled down the mountain and had a massive buffet breakfast in a 7star spa resort - in a Maharajan palace. It was a pretty good day. I wish I could have that day over and over and over again. Well, except for the monkey, and anyway the day is not even finished yet. A cow tried to head but me on the way to this internet cafe, although I am not sure if it just didn’t see me. You never know what these animals are going to do around here.
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This bought back some wonderful memories for me... I have a few of my own tales about those pesky LAngurs, too *lol* I don't hink India would be India without them.
I think your encounter takes the cake ...um... bread .... though *chuckle* the guru's response is priceless and I shall laugh all day at it and thank you for lifting my spirits by sharing it.
Lilla ...