Tell Me Something (LINK)
Hello my love, I'm wanting to say so much to you right now, but not quite sure how to explain it in a manner that will do it justice. I need to tell you something! Not just anything, but something I'm just now discovering in writing this down before I get a chance to tell you. I'm not sure how to do it, so please be patient with me, and let me attempt to do what I'm trying to do for the first and last time, like never before. To be open and honest with you, this feeling I'm feeling is a bit frightening. Scary almost, because I'm not sure who I'm becoming, as I watch myself, turn into this person I've never seen or met before. I guess like the title of my book, " Listening To The Reflection In The Mirror", I'm seeing someone that looks familiar, but they're not the person I knew them to be. But let me catch myself before I get ahead of this person I'm now becoming, because I do need for you to speak and help me communicate with this person thats talking to you through me. Well not really speak words on your part, but talk to me without saying a word. I need for you to listen closely, so I know I'm being heard, but not just yet, I have a little more to say. This is new to me remember, so if you see me struggling a little bit, help me along, but don't interrupt what I'm trying to say and do. Look, I don't know how to say it, so I'm just going to say it. I'm lonely and alone, but not like you think. I'm doing great by my standards, but remember, I'm not me any more. The bar has been raised, the standard a bit higher and my request, now demands. But I'm doing okay with my self in the loneliness. I have my health, a cool outlook and can pretty get by without seriously complaining. But I'm lonely and alone. The mere thought of you, is a greater feeling than I've experienced in the physical company of others. So maybe, that's why I'm writing, saying and delivering this to you right now. Now I'm not sure if its who I think you are, who I want you to be, or who I'm not, but you on many
levels, makes me who I want to be, so pay close attention. As I gather my thoughts to continue this theory, take a deep breath with me, so we can breathe and recycle the same air right now, and tell me I'm not going crazy, all alone and isolated. Tell me anything, everything or nothing if that's what you have to say. But promise me when this is over, you will tell me something.
Okay, maybe I should start with how I've envisioned you. Not just one image, but you
interacting with me like a painter, his paints and a canvas. Let me do this because each frame of you blends into another, but the many and numerous ways I specifically see you, are creations beyond belief. I imagine you in between the moments I don't. I've envisioned your body, comfortably laid out on a beach, with lit up instructions on what I should do to make you feel the way you're feeling when I look at you. Labels or instructions that no one else can see, and they stimulate you beyond your own expectations on what you thought was an incredible thought. It will instruct me how to take you to a level of excitement so intense, that each thought that's running through your body, and each tingle you are feeling with each touch and the anticipation of the next, slows your heart down to a calm pace, that you've never thought about witnessing. Where the many orgasms you reach, are on so many levels, you just single out the individual experiences as mindblowing, and now,
expected and demanded, even when we don't make love. Where every dirty little secret
you've always told to yourself, is shared and pured by the abilities you have bestowed
upon me and just us. A feeling where you regret ever being with anyone else, but glad you were, to know that this feeling is beyond routine or special, just what it is, magical. A feeling or place where, you're not a notch on my belt, but the last belt I will ever need,
to hold more than my trousers up. A place where you aren't saying a word, but I'm constantly asking you to, tell me something.
Now as that takes you all over the map, know that we've just only touched on one aspect
that I'm trying to define. You see what I have to say, has never been said. Many may have spoken it, but they never really said it. Its never been heard, written down or thought of, so I still need your help telling it to you. But don't talk now, listen to what your heart is telling you. Feel it, absorb it, and tell me something without saying a word. Lean back and tretch, so when you spring forward with me in this next description, you will be more alert, and notice things you never noticed before. Think about why you've never felt this before. How this came to be, and why now, are you seeing and feeling things, you never thought possible. I mean yeah, we are both guilty of telling those before us things like, “I love You" and this and that. But this is different, don't you feel it? I didn't plan on meeting you. Didn't know this feeling was even possible or that I even deserved it, so don't just hear me, listen to what I'm telling you right now. Don't fault me for saying or telling someone what I'm trying to tell you right now. I didn't know any better. So understand what I sending to you right now, is not from me, but the person I'm becoming with your help. Understand that I can't understand it, and trying to tell you things I can't find the words to say. I'm not saying these things out of obligation, but I feel obligating to do so because I care so much. So are you getting the picture? Am I even close to what I've never been so far removed from? Would I do you and this feeling justice if I explained a little more? Its important for me to know what to do right now, because I can remember what life was like before you? Have you ever experienced anything like this before? And if so, what did you do and did it feel like this? I need to know. Please, listen to what I'm saying to you and, tell me something.
Can I ask you to do something for me, before you tell me something, or what I should do in your opinion? Can you imagine the best day you've ever experienced. I don't mean not just any day, but a day that maybe took thirty days to create, and you rolled every highlight into one. A day that made that day, the days of days. You know, where your clothes fit right, you make every light when driving and all seemed good in the world. Do you have that image? No, double it, and then triple that, and you've comprehended about twenty five percent of what I'm talking about. Now, imagine that day, a single moment. Imagine, that's how I need you to feel when you're with andaway from me. Where the best part of any day, is the worse moment with us. Where we're not trying to do anything, we're just doing everything we try. Where trust, faith, hope and support, is a given and not expected, but part of life and mutuallydemanded. Maybe an universally specific acceptance of the things we find unacceptable. A code of unwritten rules, we wrote together while doing so, in a
realistic bliss. We're differently the same, but not the same in our differences. I can learn from you, as you teach me to teach you how to learn from me. Neither one of us is perfect, but we are flawed in such a way, its perfection on its highest level. Iwant, no, need for you to know what I don't. I'm alone and lonely right now, but not in a way you might think. I'm healthy, happy and content with my life and choice I've made, but now, that's not good enough. I want, no, need and demand more, and I want it from you. I demand it from you, because I'm now, expecting it from myself, the person I'm becoming. Failure is not an option, because each excuse and justification is a futtle effort. If this is what you need, not just want, here it is. I'm not just here waiting for you, I've been waiting for you, and myself for that matter. So tell me something, does any of this add up to you? Have I given you a person I just met in writing this letter to you? Can you handle this, because in all reality, it doesn't matter if you can or can't. I can, will, have and will continue doing so! You also must know I'm not trying to put any pressure on you, I'm just telling you how it is and how I
feel. If this bothers you, sorry, better yet, no I'm not sorry. You needed to hear this. I've
been settling for so long, I'm excusing myself for no reason. See what I mean by me
struggling to tell you something, every and anything on my mind? You may think I'm crazy for sending you this, but I'm not. Just call it, a moment of clarity, and I'm clear on what I'm doing. I will admit though, that if you're not on the same page as me, we need to write another book, or chapter together for that matter. For if we're not on the same page, this will make as much sense to you, as why they sell hot dogs in a package of twelve, and hot dog buns, in a package of eight. So enjoy the rest of your day or evening, and I think its time for me to let you talk. I could say more, but I need to gather my thoughts before doing so. But until then, would you do me a favor and do anything to help me tell you more about what I'm trying to say. Try something. Think about everything and then and only then, tell me something.
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