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Do you have a sanctuary at your place? Somewhere to escape to or recharge your battery. Do your kids have a sanctuary or simple space somewhere sans screen? Perhaps were filling our lives and our houses with too much stuff and not enough space.
Ive been dipping in and out of a little book about the notion of sanctuary. About how we are often in need of one, finding yours or creating one and what they mean to us. I often go into homes where theres plenty of excitement: computers, playstations, large-screens, whizzbangery as far as the eye can see, but there arent a lot of places that create a feeling of harmony and peace. Hard with young kids I know, but not impossible.
Perhaps we all need to create corners for ourselves to recharge our parenting battery and for our kids to recharge theirs. Calm places, for reading, contemplation, time spent alone or quietly with others. Theyre our homes but so often we give them over to some other notion of entertainment, guests, whats easy to clean, everything except what we might really need from time to time: A place of our own. Or of their own in the case of the kids.
Not unrelated is a story I wrote for Sydneys Child about the incredible amount of noise were creating and whether its time to turn down the volume.
Enjoy. Quietly. And good luck with your own sanctuary.
TPx
These booties were made for walking
Its amazing what you keep, isnt it. I was cleaning out the wardrobe in one of the kids rooms and came across the little pregnancy tab that had confirmed my first pregnancy. A thin, desiccated, strip of cardboard. That had been weed on no less. It was a tiny representation of what enormous changes were to come.
I was about to throw it out. I hesitated, then put it back in the wardrobe. It was a legitimate part of the collective, the family experience, and it had to stay.
Now, I am a bit of a hoarder, but I like to think I keep interesting things. Things that might (read: never) come in handy. Things that mean something. Things Id like the kids to have when theyre new parents. (Lets see how long I have to wait for that to happen) Squeezed into that section of the wardrobe I have baby suits, first little jackets, a few nappies (clean ones), baby mats, hair in envelopes from 1st haircuts, 1st shoes and a couple of teddies and a moose. A soft toy one.
How much stuff have you kept from your past or your childrens past? How much are you meant to keep, or cleave away? Is it a parents responsibility to be the repository of the familial memories, is that our role? Memoir Preservers for the next generation. Or is it that the major family experiences are so strong, so poignant, you just can't throw away anything that reminds you of them?
Anyway, I wrote about this little phenomenon of being memory keepers in a piece I did for Sydneys Child a little while ago.
Check it out. I know how much spare time you parents have
'Preserving the moment'
Tamra X
Hey! Parents are somewhat united. Check out this article in the SMH - "Bigger Not Better: Sex Billboards axed". Quoted in the paper by their "marketing reporter", (what the hell is that?), A billboard campaign asking people if they want longer lasting sex will be pulled down after the advertising watchdog caved in to public pressure over fears over the sexualisation of children.
This comes as a follow up to my previous blog "Watch Your Language"
I'm no wowser when it comes to sex. I'd much rather have my kids be exposed to people in love than shooting each other or fighting each other but I do agree with the level of sexual exploitation in all things, especially advertising. This is what our kids see, this is what they absorb, this is what shapes their attitudes.
Of course it's not the only thing. Parents and families are huge influences on our kid's perceptions, but collective peer groups: friends, media, society play a huge part. That's why they banned smoking advertising, remember?
Power to the people and the parents. Gee, if we united over most things, we might get rid of : inappropriate clothes for tiny girls, too much salt and sugar in child-targetted processed foods, violent kids' pc games, bad advertising...or am I just being utopian? Tamra
fun advertising
cute DIY advertising
imaginative advertising
let's hope he does a better job than the last guys
As I was adjusting the viewing size on my screen yesterday, to an old codger 125% rather than the usual sprightly 100%, I realised I was getting older. I imagined what the younger me, say 12 years old, would have thought of the me that was adjusting for her poor old eyes that cant focus anymore. I can still remember when I thought 26 was ancient. Then the thought struck me that one day I was going to die and wouldnt see my children anymore. It was a depressing thought. It was also a necessary thought.
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Far out. Have you read the headlines lately? Switched on the news? Listened to the radio? I used to think it was just the so called 'current affairs' shows that sniffed out the bad sensational news, but it seems even the World News is full of death, destruction and dire warnings. I know, I know, it's probably always been there, but maybe my take on it has changed.
I dont know about you, but Ive always considered myself a reasonably positive person
but lately, I don't know. With parenthood reducing my available filtration time, I've fallen prey to sound-bytes and headlines, and theyre not pretty: the never-ending war on terror, the endless negative cycle in Israel and Palestine, Zimbabwe, a ravaged environment, our choking city, anger at every stop sign and children suffering everywhere
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Who hasnt dreamt of their children being up on stage at the Opera House, or competing in the Olympics or accepting a prize for something wonderful theyve achieved. But at what cost?
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They say a watched pot never boils, does it work the same way with children? Does a child ever reach their true potential with helicopter parents hovering over their every move? This term coined by Hugh Mackay, social researcher and all round life and family guru describes the new breed of parentinghave child, will hover. He posits that parents are more anxious and indulgent these days, and because of this we're creating generations of little princesses and princes. Theyre indulged, over-managed and in my way of thinking, potentially the kind of children that could end up resenting and rejecting their parents and their constant manipulation and intervention.
Parents preparing to hover
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Okay, bring those Range Rovers over here lets park them sort of corral-style around the tables and chairs and grab that bloody barbecue, no make it two, before someone else takes them! Can you string those balloons a little higher so people know its our party and they cant intrude? Great. Now weve just got to put out the treasure hunt treats
maybe well need to police those so no little outsiders steal any. Constable, I mean, cousin Hamish can do that
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Okay, just for a moment, lets take off the heavy mantle of being a perfect parent, put our feet up on the parenting manuals and sift through a few home truths
Everyone comfy? Alright, then lets consider -
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Comment by Tamra
on Precious Little
Parenting Debates