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Far out. Have you read the headlines lately? Switched on the news? Listened to the radio? I used to think it was just the so called 'current affairs' shows that sniffed out the bad sensational news, but it seems even the World News is full of death, destruction and dire warnings. I know, I know, it's probably always been there, but maybe my take on it has changed.
I dont know about you, but Ive always considered myself a reasonably positive person
but lately, I don't know. With parenthood reducing my available filtration time, I've fallen prey to sound-bytes and headlines, and theyre not pretty: the never-ending war on terror, the endless negative cycle in Israel and Palestine, Zimbabwe, a ravaged environment, our choking city, anger at every stop sign and children suffering everywhere.
How did we get here again? How many times do we have to learn that we cant mess things up - places or feelings - and not suffer the consequences? It just seems so simple. And I realise this may sound simplistic, and yet we (that's us the human race) seem to mostly forget or ignore whats really important, whats fundamental and ultimately critical to our 'successful' survival.
Well anyway, I determined to try and remember what was good and honest and pure and to try and apply it to my life. If I dont believe I can make a difference then what hope do I have? What hope can I pass onto my children? And more importantly what skills can I pass on, to try and do something about it all.
Its just a start. A little thing I've undertaken and maybe you can add something of your own to it. Ive started a list of things I can do to make my part of the world a better place. If I can bring the whole wretched, polluted, dysfunctional, unintentional, conflicted, twisted, argumentative, disagreeable and wonderful planet down to something smaller, something manageable then it wont seem so over-whelming. Heres the list Ive come up with so far, please feel free to use it or add to it. Its not meant to be anywhere near definitive. Its just a place to start, so I can feel optimistic again and maybe make a small difference. Maybe we all can.
Remember to look after my health. For my sake, for my kids sake and to ensure my old age is as good as it can be
Walk or ride anywhere I can. Forget the car and use my muscles, they dont emit as much pollution
Get involved in local community environmental groups. Plant trees and watch them grow so your kids can have something non-metallic to climb on in the future and we can provide more shade from the ozone-reduced sunlight
Find one charity I strongly believe in and contribute some time or funds to help them do their work. Thinking of others less fortunate puts your own life in perspective
Re-use every container, paper or other kinds of waste and if I cant, recycle it. Then buy recycled products. And contact manufacturers of products I use to ask them to provide biodegradable, recyclable and reduced packaging
Buy my kids bikes and sports equipment as they get older, not just video and computer games and then get out and join them riding and playing, play keeps you young and fit and they're not kids forever
Sponsor a child whos less fortunate than my own
Plant native trees that smell and look good and encourage native bird-life, insects et all to visit
Tell my friends and family how much I love them in whatever ways I can. All relationships need nurturing.
TPx
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Parents fight back
"Hey look everyone: W-a-n-t l-o-n-g-e-r l-a-s-t-ing S-E-X!!!" and that's from the six year old in the back seat. Am I alone in being thoroughly OVER the billboard phenom lately that sees inappropriate material being advertised 100 feet high for the kids to read, mimic, repeat endlessly to friends and family? Sex is fine, but try to describe longer lasting sex and why you don't ask grandma about it, to your five year old.
And that's the least of the problematic billboards. Up the road we've currently got one that has 'bastard' with only a few letters replaced, we've got 'bugger' up there frequently, and 'bums' attached to angels and toilet paper. Nice.
How are we meant to keep our kid's mouths relatively clean when the advertising industry and our local communities by their inaction, are hell bent on doing the reverse? Some might say, hey chill, it's not a problem, they learn it off the other kids at school. But my argument is when is it ever great to hear offensive language or swear words being issued from a young child? I think the cute factor wears off after the first utterance when they're three. Then it's an all out effort to get them to stop saying things that just don't sound right coming from the mouths of babes.
So now we have billboards, for all the kids to see saying it's fine to say these things - it's up there, it must be okay, right? Isn't parenting hard enough without having to try and address the constant double standards introduced by our fellow (overpaid) grown ups?
The other thing about swearing, is no matter how good it might feel to use the odd word when you're furious or you've hit your finger with a hammer, it's just plain lazy. I've been reading the excellent Don Watson's Death Sentence recently and I've become a convert to clear, concise language that says what it means and means what it says. There shouldn't be any reduction of flavour, colour, tone and novelty, in fact, bring it on. But swear words are just laziness, a reliance on shock value with nothing to say and kids dependence on them is just as bad if not worse than adults. We're losing the delight, the richness and complexity of our language and reducing it to blandisms. Yeah right, f**k off. Swear words have their place, but they're drastically over-used, introduced in places I question and to be honest I'm completely sick of driving past those wretched posters.
Where the bloody hell are you... how proud we all are of that slogan meant to reflect the tone of us as as a people and our home land.
Well, it might be just me but if you're sick of them too, let the big guys know how hopeless their billboards are. They might just have to write some witty, interesting ads instead. Tamra x
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Who hasnt dreamt of their children being up on stage at the Opera House, or competing in the Olympics or accepting a prize for something wonderful theyve achieved. But at what cost?
We were at a rep cricket presentation the other night. For our under 10 year old. Please keep those sympathies coming in. Anyway, I found it pretty interesting. Watching all those hopeful, young pre-pubescents standing around, the question that kept reverberating around the walls, for me anyway, was how far does one push or take a passion for a child before it becomes an obsession an exclusion of all else?
Sport, art, drama, any extraneous activity that your child is drawn to can have a seductive pull. If its sport the bonus is theyll probably be healthy. If its art, theyll produce something cool to hang on the walls. If its drama, theyll probably be able to perform on command, or at least get a job at Dendy cinemas or waiting tables. I jest. But the thing is, do you cultivate this passion, leaving behind all else in its wake to help your child reach their utmost potential, or do you simply indulge it occasionally whilst still trying to balance it with other activities?
Phil Hughes the second youngest entrant into a state cricketing side was there presenting trophies. He outlined how he was pretty much obsessed with cricket as a youth. His fathers throwing arm gave way at some point, after about the 5 billionth throw and they purchased a ball-throwing machine yep, a ball-throwing machine in Macksville! At what point do you say, my child has a gift and a passion for something and it would be irresponsible not to fully support it? Do you wait for the arm to give out, or do you get in early while you still have a limb?
Remember Pat Rafter, of course you do, well he has millions of other lesser known siblings. Well a few anyway. And I recall him saying the whole family had to get behind his sport, mum and dad dedicating time to drive him back and forth to comps, brothers helping to train him, sisters helping too, so when did they make that decision? When did Pats talent dictate the terms?
Did you see Wayne Carey on Andrew Dentons Enough Rope? The tragedy was that here was a person of incredible sporting talent who had only ever gained attention and Kudos for doing one thing. Now that that was over, he was gaining attention for all the wrong things. Had his limited or limiting childhood contributed to his downfall? If he had been taken aside by someone, shown some other skills would it have potentially provided him with a way forward after football?
The demise of a sporting legend isnt pretty but there is obviously life after on-field, in-pool, etc. Its just how that person is able to cope with the lustre gone, the highs reduced to normal, balanced life after all. And is this ultimately the parents role - to prepare their child for life before and after or simply to set up the opportunities and see how the child becomes their own man or woman?
Sport is such a competitive field now parents are sending videos of their under 9 sons to England to try and get a gig at prestigious training camps. Just watch, next it will be your darlings ultrasound videos sent to the Institute of Sport to assess arm length and potential leg heft
Well, while we try and cultivate the renaissance man and add a bit of chess and music and some goofing off time in there, we may be holding him back, but as a family we believe in all things being of merit and interesting. Not least of which is family fun time. But you never know
you just never know
Tamra x
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They say a watched pot never boils, does it work the same way with children? Does a child ever reach their true potential with helicopter parents hovering over their every move? This term coined by Hugh Mackay, social researcher and all round life and family guru describes the new breed of parentinghave child, will hover. He posits that parents are more anxious and indulgent these days, and because of this we're creating generations of little princesses and princes. Theyre indulged, over-managed and in my way of thinking, potentially the kind of children that could end up resenting and rejecting their parents and their constant manipulation and intervention.
Parents preparing to hover
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Okay, bring those Range Rovers over here lets park them sort of corral-style around the tables and chairs and grab that bloody barbecue, no make it two, before someone else takes them! Can you string those balloons a little higher so people know its our party and they cant intrude? Great. Now weve just got to put out the treasure hunt treats
maybe well need to police those so no little outsiders steal any. Constable, I mean, cousin Hamish can do that
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Okay, just for a moment, lets take off the heavy mantle of being a perfect parent, put our feet up on the parenting manuals and sift through a few home truths
Everyone comfy? Alright, then lets consider -
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Hey, believe it or not my mug and a few thoughts on modern parenting were in the Sydney Morning Herald the other day. A delightful journo and I had a chat about whether you are hindering your child or helping them if you teach them a set of values and manners to adhere to.
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I know this will come as a shock to many of you but theres a crazy new group out there going around robbing children of their future. Not content to allow kids to be kids, they are shoving bucket-loads of experience down childrens throats, exposing them to wildly inappropriate material, scheduling their time so that they rival adults busy lives; and worst of all, you probably know some of them. They may even be your friends. I call them The Future Eaters. Most call them
parents.
Yep, good old Mum and Dad. They have their kids on such an overly rich diet of grown up experience, kids are becoming stimulation-obese. Take these few examples: a recent childrens birthday party in Sydney which stretched over an entire day, featured fire-eaters, jesters, clowns, face-painters, dancers, food that could feed an outback community for a year and a cast of hundreds of invitees. Cost - $40,000. Age of children - 5 and 7. What on earth will they do next year
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To many parents, these seemingly innocuous words, directed at your young one, are some of the most feared on the planet
'Can you come to my party?' Fine if its coming from a little friend with a decent enough family a simple romp in the park, an hours play time but what if its that snotty-nosed, little kid with the screechy mother, and its a five-hour pool party??!
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Ahh, my favourite, family-friendly commentator, Ms Miranda Not-So-Divine, has been at it again. Not content at pillorying the tired mothers of tantrum-ing children, (and championing the smack), she's now hittin' out at the mothers of twins. Gotta love that girl's grrr. Not.
So, have you read it, did you see it, have you heard about it? I don't want to repeat anything you've already consumed and gagged on, but I am in fact referring to her piece on the terrible, societal problem that is
twin strollers. Gee they can be pesky, can't they? I mean, can't those mothers just carry their two one-year-olds around? And their nappy bags. And their handbags. What's wrong with them? Sherpas carry a lot of stuff, and they dont seem to complain. Well, not that we can understand anyway
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Comment by Tamra
on Watch Your Language!!
Parenting Debates