Tamra

Sydney, New South Wales, AUSTRALIA


Joined January 25th 2008

Number of Posts:
21

Number of Comments:
14

Karma:
5



About Me
Female, parent, wife, daughter, friend, writer, opinionated blogger

Tags & Posts

Bookmark Tags



Popular Tags

Blogs

Tamra's Blogs

3059 Vote(s)
49 Comment(s)
25 Post(s)

I mentor these bloggers

Learn more about the Orble Mentoring Program.


I do not mentor any bloggers.

Friends

I have no friends :(

Recent Posts

Oh for a bit of peace and quiet

November 7th 2008 10:00
Do you have a sanctuary at your place? Somewhere to ‘escape’ to or recharge your battery. Do your kids have a sanctuary or simple space somewhere sans screen? Perhaps we’re filling our lives and our houses with too much stuff and not enough space.

I’ve been dipping in and out of a little book about the notion of sanctuary. About how we are often in need of one, finding yours or creating one and what they mean to us. I often go into homes where there’s plenty of excitement: computers, playstations, large-screens, whizzbangery as far as the eye can see, but there aren’t a lot of places that create a feeling of harmony and peace. Hard with young kids I know, but not impossible.

Perhaps we all need to create corners for ourselves to recharge our parenting battery and for our kids to recharge theirs. Calm places, for reading, contemplation, time spent alone or quietly with others. They’re our homes but so often we give them over to some other notion of ‘entertainment’, guests, ‘what’s easy to clean’, everything except what we might really need from time to time: A place of our own. Or of their own in the case of the kids.

Not unrelated is a story I wrote for Sydney’s Child about the incredible amount of noise we’re creating and whether it’s time to turn down the volume.

Enjoy. Quietly. And good luck with your own sanctuary.

TPx
64
Vote
   


Precious Little

November 1st 2008 07:23
These booties were made for walking


It’s amazing what you keep, isn’t it. I was cleaning out the wardrobe in one of the kid’s rooms and came across the little pregnancy tab that had confirmed my first pregnancy. A thin, desiccated, strip of cardboard. That had been weed on no less. It was a tiny representation of what enormous changes were to come.

I was about to throw it out. I hesitated, then put it back in the wardrobe. It was a legitimate part of the collective, the family experience, and it had to stay.

Now, I am a bit of a hoarder, but I like to think I keep interesting things. Things that might (read: never) come in handy. Things that mean something. Things I’d like the kids to have when they’re new parents. (Let’s see how long I have to wait for that to happen) Squeezed into that section of the wardrobe I have baby suits, first little jackets, a few nappies (clean ones), baby mats, hair in envelopes from 1st haircuts, 1st shoes and a couple of teddies and a moose. A soft toy one.

How much stuff have you kept from your past or your children’s past? How much are you meant to keep, or cleave away? Is it a parent’s responsibility to be the repository of the familial memories, is that our role? Memoir Preservers for the next generation. Or is it that the major family experiences are so strong, so poignant, you just can't throw away anything that reminds you of them?

Anyway, I wrote about this little phenomenon of being memory keepers in a piece I did for Sydney’s Child a little while ago.

Check it out. I know how much spare time you parents have…

'Preserving the moment'

Tamra X
76
Vote
   


Power to the Parents!

August 25th 2008 03:46
Hey! Parents are somewhat united. Check out this article in the SMH - "Bigger Not Better: Sex Billboards axed". Quoted in the paper by their "marketing reporter", (what the hell is that?),
A billboard campaign asking people if they want longer lasting sex will be pulled down after the advertising watchdog caved in to public pressure over fears over the sexualisation of children.


This comes as a follow up to my previous blog "Watch Your Language"

I'm no wowser when it comes to sex. I'd much rather have my kids be exposed to people in love than shooting each other or fighting each other but I do agree with the level of sexual exploitation in all things, especially advertising. This is what our kids see, this is what they absorb, this is what shapes their attitudes.

Of course it's not the only thing. Parents and families are huge influences on our kid's perceptions, but collective peer groups: friends, media, society play a huge part. That's why they banned smoking advertising, remember?

Power to the people and the parents. Gee, if we united over most things, we might get rid of : inappropriate clothes for tiny girls, too much salt and sugar in child-targetted processed foods, violent kids' pc games, bad advertising...or am I just being utopian? Tamra
fun advertising
cute DIY advertising
imaginative advertising
let's hope he does a better job than the last guys

82
Vote
   


Endings, Departures, Farewells

August 24th 2008 06:59

As I was adjusting the viewing size on my screen yesterday, to an old codger 125% rather than the usual sprightly 100%, I realised I was getting older. I imagined what the younger me, say 12 years old, would have thought of the me that was adjusting for her poor old eyes that can’t focus anymore. I can still remember when I thought 26 was ancient. Then the thought struck me that one day I was going to die and wouldn’t see my children anymore. It was a depressing thought. It was also a necessary thought.

[ Click here to read more ]
75
Vote
   


Reasons to be cheerful Pt 1

July 4th 2008 11:05
The dark side
Far out. Have you read the headlines lately? Switched on the news? Listened to the radio? I used to think it was just the so called 'current affairs' shows that sniffed out the bad sensational news, but it seems even the World News is full of death, destruction and dire warnings. I know, I know, it's probably always been there, but maybe my take on it has changed.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always considered myself a reasonably positive person…but lately, I don't know. With parenthood reducing my available filtration time, I've fallen prey to sound-bytes and headlines, and they’re not pretty: the never-ending war on terror, the endless negative cycle in Israel and Palestine, Zimbabwe, a ravaged environment, our choking city, anger at every stop sign and children suffering everywhere


[ Click here to read more ]
85
Vote
   


Watch Your Language!!

June 18th 2008 11:32
Parents fight back



[ Click here to read more ]
95
Vote
   


Passion V Obsession

May 23rd 2008 13:41

Who hasn’t dreamt of their children being up on stage at the Opera House, or competing in the Olympics or accepting a prize for something wonderful they’ve achieved. But at what cost?

[ Click here to read more ]
116
Vote
   



They say a watched pot never boils, does it work the same way with children? Does a child ever reach their true potential with helicopter parents hovering over their every move? This term coined by Hugh Mackay, social researcher and all round life and family guru describes the new breed of parenting—have child, will hover. He posits that parents are more anxious and indulgent these days, and because of this we're creating generations of little princesses and princes. They’re indulged, over-managed and in my way of thinking, potentially the kind of children that could end up resenting and rejecting their parents and their constant manipulation and intervention.
Parents preparing to hover
Parents preparing to hover

[ Click here to read more ]
129
Vote
   




“Okay, bring those Range Rovers over here – let’s park them sort of corral-style around the tables and chairs and grab that bloody barbecue, no make it two, before someone else takes them! Can you string those balloons a little higher so people know it’s our party and they can’t intrude? Great. Now we’ve just got to put out the treasure hunt treats…maybe we’ll need to police those so no little outsiders steal any. Constable, I mean, cousin Hamish can do that
[ Click here to read more ]
108
Vote
   



Okay, just for a moment, let’s take off the heavy mantle of being a perfect parent, put our feet up on the parenting manuals and sift through a few home truths…Everyone comfy? Alright, then let’s consider -

[ Click here to read more ]
151
Vote
   


 

Recent Comments

Comment by Tamra
on Precious Little

November 1st 2008 09:12
What an amazing 'collection' of family stories you have K. So many pregnancies, so many children. I'll bet there are lots of saved clothes or wraps that have worked their way through your family as well as those saved memories. And how nice to hear about the change of heart of your mother and her committed parenting and love for you. Parents...where would we be without them. T

Comment by Tamra
on Power to the Parents!

August 25th 2008 10:41
Well I'm pretty much in agreement Johnny. It seems as if the lid's come off and advertisers think anything goes now - the more you can get away with the better. I question whether a truly progressive society really believes that certain standards should be disposed with all the name of 'freedom to advertise'... TP

Comment by Tamra
on Watch Your Language!!

July 4th 2008 06:33
Yep, I suppose it all depends on what age your kids are, what concerns you as a parent and how your kids respond to outside influences. Some might say that things as 'big' as this in our sights bring issues to the fore and are an opportunity to discuss with kids. Some might say having this visually 'shoved down our throats' wherever we turn has a negative impact on kids' perception and a corrosive quality on their language. Just wait till they have the woman draped over the bonnet with an alcoholic drink...

Comment by Tamra
on Hey Parents, Get Off My Back, Literally!

May 11th 2008 23:45
What a great analogy Bluephin. You're right of course, it's a finely tuned balancing act; knowing when to let go and when to hold on. That's why parenting is the hardest job and the most rewarding - there's no absolute right and wrong but the moments when you and your child are connected, you can see your influence has resulted in a happy, balanced person dealing with their own life - it's a wondrous thing. I guess the current trend to over-manage our kids is trying to manufacture those moments out of a kind of fear, but in the end it could have the reverse effect.

Comment by Tamra
on SLOW DOWN!

April 8th 2008 10:26
Cristy, it seems to be all about parents taking action these days. If you put enough combined pressure on the school, the buses will follow. If parents combine their resources, 'walking buses' are created. Biking isn't as easy as it once was with cars taking precedence but there's no reason why kids can't ride if monitored by grown ups and walking's a whole lot more fun than trying to find a park outside school! And of course it's better for you, your kids and the planet.

Comment by Tamra
on It's A Crime To Be Average

April 8th 2008 00:00
and yet it's so hard to resist feeling at times that you're disadvantaging a child if you're not exposing them to the same broad range as their peers. It's the old parenting balancing act, isn't it? How much of what do I give them when and by whom and how! I ultimately think childhood is a time to be a child, not a mini-adult. Hats off to you Cristy in being a parent who can take their children to the park and let them be kids.

Comment by Tamra
on STOLEN! Our Children's Futures

March 25th 2008 06:14
A great point CapsFam. Before we knew it, the 6 yr olds were all being read Harry and watching the movies before they'd even left the first bough of The Faraway Tree! Hear hear to the Famous Five, The Secret Seven, A A Milne and all the other great books that by being innocent and fun are more age-attuned than what we're serving up to our juniors. And while we're at it, please feel free to add some more titles and movies to the list of cool, fun, enjoyable and appropraite entertainment for under 10's. TP

Comment by Tamra
on Miranda Divine Is Definitely Not

March 19th 2008 10:10
Hey Opto, nice of you to drop in. So, here's the question, do we let people like Miranda take centre stage without responding to her diatribe and ignore her, hoping she goes away? Or do we use our freedom of expression to say, no sorry Miranda but that's sensationalist rubbish and this is why. In parenting critique, it may be a case of not responding hoping that 'errant behaviour' will dwindle once it gets no attention. But as adults with a democratic right to express our concerns and opposition to rubbish put out by our major press, it may be a duty to do so...TP

Comment by Tamra
on Can You Come To My Party?

March 18th 2008 22:39
So true, but do we really need to put ourselves through endless children's parties run by families we'll never befriend, with children we'd prefer our kids didn't befriend? And what happens when our child wants the same things, junk food, cheap toys, etc etc. are we opening up endles cans of worms that we then have to contend with?

Comment by Tamra
on Congratulations - We Made It!

February 24th 2008 23:09
So true, and considering this for a moment, do you think it will really have a detrimental effect on our children as they reach adulthood? Will the less free, more 'managed' snd formulaic nature of their lives have a significant impact on their personalities, abilities, relationships? What do you think?