Taking a Bite out of Life
August 21st 2008 03:21
So I finally got some time to sit and write. I've been so busy that it's insane. My head is spinning, I feel a bit discontent to be honest. Today I'm not going to bash anything in particular. I'm just going to rant some about what has been bothering in my life. I guess you could consider this rant more of a fireside chat, only angrier. So for all the nosy folks out there, today we take a page out of my life. Without further adieu, I present to you; Taking a Bite out of Life.
Warning: Might throw in an edgy swear or two, so..well...you know the deal.
There's been one thing that has really gotten to my lately. That being the whole college fiasco that my dad is trying to push on me. Before I jump in further, let me explain a few things. I mentioned in an earlier post that I do have several serious problems. Most people think I'm faking it, when I'm not. My parents are among those who think I'm faking. They think you have to be at least age 40 before you can ever even begin to understand stress and depression. I've even told them in the past that I've thought about suicide. Several times I did, the most that was ever said was "Take some meds". My parents also think that if you throw enough pills at something, it'll go away, no matter what it is. My parents are fucking idiots. Anyway, I have all these problems, and it does me no good to tell my parents about them. They think I have some sort of button to turn the problems off. I don't, and it pisses me off. It pisses me off that they think such stupid things.
So now we jump back to the college ordeal. My dad says he wants me to be a full time student and have a job at the same time. He says that if I'm not in the least a full time student, his insurance will 'cut me off'. I honestly think that's bullshit and he's just trying to shove me into doing what he wants me to do. He claims he went to college twice and was working both times and supporting his family. I guess that's his way of saying 'If I can do it, you can do it.'. What a crock of shit. We are two VERY different people. I would rather take college slowly and try to get my problems sorted out before trying such a stunt.
Monday night he comes into my office and starts bitching about how I need to find a job and be a full time student and all that shit. That was the night he gave me that whole 'If I can you can' crock. I told him I'd been looking at my schedule and trying to get signed up and I could only get signed up for two things because most things had overlapping hours. Then he asked about the PC classes and I tell him they're all online and I can't do them here. (The net sucks big time, and for the record I was going to become a PC Software Spec but he's killed that dream.) After he bitches he goes back into the living room. I had to use the bathroom so two minuets later I come out. In the process of going to the bathroom I hear him talking to my mother. Here's where he really set me off. He says that I only signed up for two classes and that I'm wasting time. Also says that I lied about the PC classes to give him an excuse to get faster net so I could play games. Which was all a lie, I had spent several hours trying to get a decent schedule. I end up losing it, having a major psychological breakdown, and spend the rest of that night/morning felling like shit. Tuesday morning I end up calling the local mental health center and get an appointment to see a psychologist. (Which I will be doing tomorrow afternoon). Then that afternoon I waste a trip up to the college (I'm about 35-45 miles from it.) tiring to find my damn adviser. So come today, this morning I managed to get in contact with her, then drove up there and finally got my schedule sorted for now. Still got more shit to do. All this shit for an education I don't want and for a forceful son of a bitch father who dosen't care about the son he always wanted.
For those that say he does care and that if he didn't I'd be on the street: He's full of himself and tries to make himself look better than everyone else. Thus if he threw me out, his rep would go down the crapper. For those that say I should be happy with what I have, trust me I am, but I hate life and I hate having the problems that I have.
Bottom line is: I hate life, I hate society, I hate my parents, I pretty much hate everything. However I'm crazy enough to keep living the life. I feel like I really needed to get all this off my chest. Hopefully next time I'll do a real rant. Sorry for anyone that was hoping for a general bashing of something, I'll be doing that next post.
I do have a sketch of and idea for my two future posts. one involving a recent incident and perhaps a revisit to the article "Today's Triumph of the Slut." We'll see.
This is Anthoric the Angry saying: Try not to walk a mile in my shoes, it sucks.
Warning: Might throw in an edgy swear or two, so..well...you know the deal.
There's been one thing that has really gotten to my lately. That being the whole college fiasco that my dad is trying to push on me. Before I jump in further, let me explain a few things. I mentioned in an earlier post that I do have several serious problems. Most people think I'm faking it, when I'm not. My parents are among those who think I'm faking. They think you have to be at least age 40 before you can ever even begin to understand stress and depression. I've even told them in the past that I've thought about suicide. Several times I did, the most that was ever said was "Take some meds". My parents also think that if you throw enough pills at something, it'll go away, no matter what it is. My parents are fucking idiots. Anyway, I have all these problems, and it does me no good to tell my parents about them. They think I have some sort of button to turn the problems off. I don't, and it pisses me off. It pisses me off that they think such stupid things.
So now we jump back to the college ordeal. My dad says he wants me to be a full time student and have a job at the same time. He says that if I'm not in the least a full time student, his insurance will 'cut me off'. I honestly think that's bullshit and he's just trying to shove me into doing what he wants me to do. He claims he went to college twice and was working both times and supporting his family. I guess that's his way of saying 'If I can do it, you can do it.'. What a crock of shit. We are two VERY different people. I would rather take college slowly and try to get my problems sorted out before trying such a stunt.
Monday night he comes into my office and starts bitching about how I need to find a job and be a full time student and all that shit. That was the night he gave me that whole 'If I can you can' crock. I told him I'd been looking at my schedule and trying to get signed up and I could only get signed up for two things because most things had overlapping hours. Then he asked about the PC classes and I tell him they're all online and I can't do them here. (The net sucks big time, and for the record I was going to become a PC Software Spec but he's killed that dream.) After he bitches he goes back into the living room. I had to use the bathroom so two minuets later I come out. In the process of going to the bathroom I hear him talking to my mother. Here's where he really set me off. He says that I only signed up for two classes and that I'm wasting time. Also says that I lied about the PC classes to give him an excuse to get faster net so I could play games. Which was all a lie, I had spent several hours trying to get a decent schedule. I end up losing it, having a major psychological breakdown, and spend the rest of that night/morning felling like shit. Tuesday morning I end up calling the local mental health center and get an appointment to see a psychologist. (Which I will be doing tomorrow afternoon). Then that afternoon I waste a trip up to the college (I'm about 35-45 miles from it.) tiring to find my damn adviser. So come today, this morning I managed to get in contact with her, then drove up there and finally got my schedule sorted for now. Still got more shit to do. All this shit for an education I don't want and for a forceful son of a bitch father who dosen't care about the son he always wanted.
For those that say he does care and that if he didn't I'd be on the street: He's full of himself and tries to make himself look better than everyone else. Thus if he threw me out, his rep would go down the crapper. For those that say I should be happy with what I have, trust me I am, but I hate life and I hate having the problems that I have.
Bottom line is: I hate life, I hate society, I hate my parents, I pretty much hate everything. However I'm crazy enough to keep living the life. I feel like I really needed to get all this off my chest. Hopefully next time I'll do a real rant. Sorry for anyone that was hoping for a general bashing of something, I'll be doing that next post.
I do have a sketch of and idea for my two future posts. one involving a recent incident and perhaps a revisit to the article "Today's Triumph of the Slut." We'll see.
This is Anthoric the Angry saying: Try not to walk a mile in my shoes, it sucks.
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