Symbiosis
March 1st 2007 00:20
"Play nice- don't fight, cooperate!" This was the ubiquitous advice we got from our parents, teachers, Afterschool Specials and, in the hideously banal 70's, even our Saturday Morning cartoons. Oh, and in the odd biology class, when the subject of symbiosis came up. Symbiotes are different organisms that cooperate with each other for mutual benefit. Symbiosis is common in the natural world, since their relationship doesn't necessarily lead to impairing or even killing one or both participants.
A high-power microscope reveals ferocious critters lurking in our very eyelashes, like a bad sci fi movie. Before you start refilling your Visine bottle with bleach, remember that these are friendly, symbiotic critters that eat dead skin cells and actually help keep our eyes healthy. Symbiosis was first discovered in the laboratory, when researchers realized that they were spending a lot of government money to feed and house rats, since in return the rats gave the researchers excuses to apply for government grants.
Terrorism is booming these days (Rimshot sound effect here). It helps al-Qaeda's recruitment brochures that the United States is fast surpassing Israel as the Arab world's least favorite nation. Certainly the ill-decided and unplanned invasion of Iraq has skyrocketed al-Qaeda's membership base. President Bush V2.0 has been Osama bin Laden's dream P.R. manager... but like a true symbiosis this works both ways.
On September 10, 2001 Bush was widely seen as already a lame duck. He was laughably ill-informed, and less articulate than Marlon Brando with a mouthful of peanut butter. His whole Presidency was viewed as a pathetic joke- until 19 mass murderers convinced virtually the entire nation to move sharply and swiftly to the Right, and conferred on Bush the instant prestige of a War President.
Of course, even this huge boost didn't quite cover the fact that Bush is fundamentally competence-challenged. The mental pygmy was facing a very close race for re-election in 2004 (Forget the Right Wingnuts bleating about a "mandate," a 51 per cent win is merely squeaking by). Fortunately for the GOP, just days before the election Osama himself graciously released a tape designed to drive the myriad undecides towards voting for George "Dubya" Bush. This is how symbiosis works, one organism being helpful and supportive of the other.
Anyone else think it's funny that both Bush and bin Laden are opposed to gay marriage? Those two truly deserve each other.
A high-power microscope reveals ferocious critters lurking in our very eyelashes, like a bad sci fi movie. Before you start refilling your Visine bottle with bleach, remember that these are friendly, symbiotic critters that eat dead skin cells and actually help keep our eyes healthy. Symbiosis was first discovered in the laboratory, when researchers realized that they were spending a lot of government money to feed and house rats, since in return the rats gave the researchers excuses to apply for government grants.
Terrorism is booming these days (Rimshot sound effect here). It helps al-Qaeda's recruitment brochures that the United States is fast surpassing Israel as the Arab world's least favorite nation. Certainly the ill-decided and unplanned invasion of Iraq has skyrocketed al-Qaeda's membership base. President Bush V2.0 has been Osama bin Laden's dream P.R. manager... but like a true symbiosis this works both ways.
On September 10, 2001 Bush was widely seen as already a lame duck. He was laughably ill-informed, and less articulate than Marlon Brando with a mouthful of peanut butter. His whole Presidency was viewed as a pathetic joke- until 19 mass murderers convinced virtually the entire nation to move sharply and swiftly to the Right, and conferred on Bush the instant prestige of a War President.
Of course, even this huge boost didn't quite cover the fact that Bush is fundamentally competence-challenged. The mental pygmy was facing a very close race for re-election in 2004 (Forget the Right Wingnuts bleating about a "mandate," a 51 per cent win is merely squeaking by). Fortunately for the GOP, just days before the election Osama himself graciously released a tape designed to drive the myriad undecides towards voting for George "Dubya" Bush. This is how symbiosis works, one organism being helpful and supportive of the other.
Anyone else think it's funny that both Bush and bin Laden are opposed to gay marriage? Those two truly deserve each other.
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