SWANS SECRET PEAF DEAL
August 24th 2008 12:31
It was with some discomfort that I watched Paul Roos’ after match press conference on Saturday night.
The club that came closest to bleeding the AFL dry in the ‘80’s and ‘90’s has obviously extended its hand again in the asking and it would appear that the Jolimont cash - keepers have come to the party.
Paul Roos has a hand double.
As the press conference at the Telstra Dome rolled on longer than the excruciating wait one endures on the phone to said stadium naming rights sponsor whilst getting an extension to their phone bill - the Swans coach’s languid hand movements had all the authenticity of the chef from “The Muppets” and, bort be -dort be - dort bort bort … the money that the AFL pay this ‘hand in’ could have saved Fitzroy.
If only Leon Wiegard and co. had plunged into the rarely used AFL Physical Extremity Assistance Fund or PEAF as it has come to known, the very course of football history could have been altered.
As it is however, much like North Melbourne and the short lived Ten Year rule in the early Seventies, Sydney appear to be the only club taking advantage of PEAF, giving their coach the luxury of not having to move his hands one iota during an arduous grilling from the press.
And what a win - win situation this could prove to be for the Swans, because so ridiculous were the PEAF hand doubles movements throughout the course of the Press Conference that no one in the room heard a word Roos was saying, so transfixed were they by the invisible fly swatting, chin tapping and airport lounge departure type configurations being played out by the foreign digits in front of his face.
With the PEAF assistance fund seemingly secured until the end of the season, Sydney could get belted by Brisbane, lose their Elimintion Final by god knows how much and Roos would wander away from his final press conference completely unscathed, because someone else’s hands would do all the talking.
Rumours that the PEAF hand double is none other than the guy who sits at his desk controlling the ‘Falcon’ on that ANZ Bank TV Commercial have been denied by the club, despite his hand movements being eerily similar to that of Roos on Saturday night.
The club that came closest to bleeding the AFL dry in the ‘80’s and ‘90’s has obviously extended its hand again in the asking and it would appear that the Jolimont cash - keepers have come to the party.
Paul Roos has a hand double.
As the press conference at the Telstra Dome rolled on longer than the excruciating wait one endures on the phone to said stadium naming rights sponsor whilst getting an extension to their phone bill - the Swans coach’s languid hand movements had all the authenticity of the chef from “The Muppets” and, bort be -dort be - dort bort bort … the money that the AFL pay this ‘hand in’ could have saved Fitzroy.
As it is however, much like North Melbourne and the short lived Ten Year rule in the early Seventies, Sydney appear to be the only club taking advantage of PEAF, giving their coach the luxury of not having to move his hands one iota during an arduous grilling from the press.
And what a win - win situation this could prove to be for the Swans, because so ridiculous were the PEAF hand doubles movements throughout the course of the Press Conference that no one in the room heard a word Roos was saying, so transfixed were they by the invisible fly swatting, chin tapping and airport lounge departure type configurations being played out by the foreign digits in front of his face.
With the PEAF assistance fund seemingly secured until the end of the season, Sydney could get belted by Brisbane, lose their Elimintion Final by god knows how much and Roos would wander away from his final press conference completely unscathed, because someone else’s hands would do all the talking.
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