Surviving Rural Life - by bumpkin

farming - Surviving Rural Life

Blood and gore

September 19th 2006 01:47

Sheep skin at The Kodja Place Copyright: Wendy Thorn

What a culture shock it is for a young partner of a country bloke to suddenly have landed on the verandah table the gutted carcus of some sheep she had seen running in the yards the day before. If she is lucky she has been warned, as most farmers kill the night before and the meat hangs wrapped in a sheet for the night - a sheet, by the way, she will be expected to wash soon afterwards. (Forensics would have a field day trying to sort out the blood and guts) In earlier days the chopping of the animal would have happened outside with the chopping block and chops would appear with sharp pieces of bones sticking out at weird angles. I think that is why there were so many stews. What else can you do with a piece of meat like that! Now, many farms have their own meat saw - which is fine when it works. Now, all one has to worry about is will the user make it through without losing a finger and what on earth do I do with all these bits of meat?

The only solution is to think of something else and just get in there and get the hands dirty/bloody. Chops of varied sizes, roast - 2 leg and 2 shoulder, flaps if you are into them, neck chops if you are really keen and the rest goes into bags with DOG written on it. The dog, of course is hanging around anyway looking for the odd shaped bits that don't quite make it to the table. It is important to leave one or two packs of meat out of the freezer, so that you can have them for tea that night - I mean why did you think they were killed - someone wants mutton, not chicken for tea!

The clean up - washing knives, the meat saw, table, floor etc should be done by the user of the saw- so if one is clever one takes a while to pack and label the bags, so that the cleaning is finished about the same time as the freezer door is shut.
I have been involved with the development of displays at The Kodja Place, an Interpretive Centre in Kojonup W.A. Here we spent ages discussing all the things that made us who we are in our town. The wool industry featured, but how could we display the other reason we keep sheep - the meat industry? The sheep skin was the result and a peep show of the more gory bits. But here was a thought that stuck in my mind. One of the local Noongar (Aboriginal) women made the comment "Well I came from the city too - how do you think I felt when my husband brought home a kangaroo!" Point taken.

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A Poultry Affair

September 18th 2006 03:55

A great discovery

Most self-respecting farm has some form of poultry. Some people used to have turkeys, so that there was something for the Christmas dinner – but they are fairly noisy and have a face only their mother would love, so they are not as popular as in the past. Others swear by (and at) geese because they are better than any guard dog at keeping visitors and snakes away from the household. Others prefer bantam hens – I don’t know why- maybe they just don’t like a full sized egg for breakfast…. However, a majority of farmers want poultry to have “free” eggs so they buy either red, white or black hens.
Connoisseurs will specialize in one variety and will swear that the reds are friendly and the black are bad tempered, but in my study of these creatures most have absolutely no personality whatsoever. Mind you there is always the one chook who will come to greet you when you visit their enclosure and proceed to get under your feet every step of the way and may even peck a greeting at your passing boot. If there is a policy of killing one for dinner, that will be the one – however, as it’s easier to go the supermarket and get one ready to cook for under $10.00, it is probably quite safe. (If you have ever killed, plucked, gutted and cleaned a chook and smelt the wet feathers, you will understand why there is a certain resistance to this process in the kitchens of this land.)
There are also those hens who get in a foul (excuse the pun) mood when they decide to brood. It seems to be the case in my chook shed that they all brood together. One starts, stops all the others from laying eggs because it is sitting on the nest and no one is bright enough to make another nest and so they all stop laying and brood or mood together. This can go on for weeks and I have yet to find an experienced farmer’s wife who can give me a cure.
Apart from the obvious advantage of not having to buy eggs for about nine months of the year, there are other advantages in having chooks. Firstly it is somewhere to put your vegetable scraps if you are too lazy to make a compost heap. They are also good at eating up the weeds that grow in proliferation in any garden. Some people take the risk of letting their chooks roam the garden. The dogs have to be taught to leave them alone and one or two may succumb to a passing fox, but the advantage of this practice is that they eat lots of the bugs and weeds in the garden and fertilize them a bit too. The disadvantage is they scratch up the seedlings.
Another advantage of having laying chooks is that you will always have some free range eggs to take to your friends or wider family when visiting, which will please them immensely, especially if they are living in the city and have to pay double the price for the good eggs. You will really feel quite clever having produced something from your hard work, but remember to warn them to break every egg in a cup before using. Bad eggs have a worse smell than plucked chook and they don’t look good sitting in a cake mix. If your friends are in the country, you can be fairly certain that their chooks or their neighbour’s chooks are laying eggs in abundance at the same time yours are, so check before handing them over – for it could be that another dozen eggs are the last thing they want.
The final advantage is that hens can have great entertainment value. When children come to stay, they love feeding the chooks and finding the eggs. The fact is, your chooks will probably get such a fright after they have been chased around the yard for two hours so that they won’t lay any more eggs for a fortnight after the visitors have gone. But that is a small price to pay for hearing the squeals of joy from a small child when an egg is discovered. It also solves the problem of what you give that child for tea that night!
So, weighing it up, if you can - get some chooks!

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slip slop slap-wear that hat!

September 16th 2006 07:13

This is the typical leg of a farmer after a couple of days in the sun. The white is where the farm boot and socks have been. The red signifies the change from farm jeans to shorts. If you are looking for a bloke with an even tan - don't look at a farmer!

no such thing as an even tan!

Farmers have become very aware of the need to protect themselves from the sun. They have had enough friends having skin cancers removed, to know some care is required. Slopping on the suncream is not always practical especially if it is getting mixed with dust. The shirts stays on more these days - even if they have sleeves removed - a concession somewhere between the blue singlet and the full shirt. However, there seems to be no trouble getting a hat of some sort on their head. Some,however are of dubious value.

Yes, of course I took a hat

The best are the big wide brimmed variety. Best at blowing off in the first breeze and landing in the oil patch or for getting a good grip on it when there is a need to discipline the dog with a well directed clip under the ears. They are also best however at protecting the ears- but the rule is never to take your best one to farm field days and always wear it slammed right down on your head so that you can only just see what is going on - that way you don't lose it. Or if you are really organised you will have a chin strap!
The next most popular hat are the complimentary caps that have turned up in great abundance from every possible tractor company, chemical company and even financial company representative that has ever put his foot on the farm. There is at least two for every member of the family hanging around the house. Unlike their city cousins' dubious style, farmers wear theirs the right way around as they keep the sun out of their eyes, but that is about all you can say in their favour. Skin cancers have been known to appear on ears as well.
Then there is the assortment of other hats that can be anything from the good old white??? towelling hat slammed tightly into place to mum's old straw hat - because in their hurry they couldn't find theirs - it is probably still in the sheep yard from the time he threw it at the dog.
The only people with decent hats are the stock agents - always clean, neatly fitted and sitting correctly on their heads. So that's how you tell the difference between the farmer and the stockiie! It's his Hat!

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