Flirt Diva Answers Your Love Dilemmas
September 17th 2009 06:54
MATURE CONTENT
Sue
London, London, UNITED KINGDOM
Joined September 8th 2006
Number of Posts:
17
Number of Comments:
2
Karma:
5
Recent Posts Flirt Diva Answers Your Love DilemmasJuly 7th 2009 06:55
Q 1. My husband-to-be has been cheating on me. I practically caught him red handed and have the evidence to back it up, but he has turned it around to make it look like my neglectful ways (we haven’t had sex for six months) were why he strayed. He insists he loves me and would never do it again (even though this is the second time I’ve caught him!) A. Your husband-to-be hey? The only thing wrong with him from a marriage/husband standpoint is that he’s a pathological liar, a cheat and a guilt tripper. Knowing these facts, as you do, you might want to ask yourself why on earth you’d consider going ahead with the marriage. There’s a reason there’s a 50% divorce rate in this country. My advice is to postpone your plans and think about what’s best for you: your life, the future of your children. This is no way to kick-start a marriage, any marriage. The foundations are way too shaky. The fact you haven’t had sex for six months points to a whole other problem. Get out now before it’s too late! Q 2. I am madly in love with a guy who recently started going out with a good friend of mine. I’m sure it’s me he secretly likes though since he hinted as much when we had a drunken snog a few weeks ago. A. Hmmm, interesting. Are you saying in spite of the fact that for whatever reason he’s chosen your friend over you, that it hasn’t stopped your deluded fantasies? If that’s the case, you are setting yourself up for a massive letdown and you’re wasting your time. It’s time to face facts, he had a shot with you – he didn’t take it. He’s moved on and so should you. Next! Q 3. My man is so proud – in everything – work, love, family – it’s an Italian thing. So lately, when for some reason his libido just disappeared, he’s been withdrawn, sullen and the unhappy I’ve ever seen him. What can I do to show him that I’m not that bothered? As far as I’m concerned, there’s plenty of other things we can do besides intercourse. A. Does the word medomalucuphobia mean anything to you? It’s the fear of losing an erection and it’s lethal – especially for men like your (former) Italian stallion – both physically and psychologically. Do you have any insight to what the causes might be? Is he more stressed than usual or under great pressure? Often the fear of losing the erection can be as bad as losing it itself. Sit him down for a chat; let him know that his situation is nothing to be ashamed of; remind him that you’re in this together and broach the subject of professional help. Q. 4. I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Summer’s here, and with all the credit crunch gloom and doom, it makes me realise how nice it would be to have someone special to picnic with and have fun in the sun. So after a nasty break-up, I’m ready to start looking. The problem is I’ve no idea where to start. Recently I read somewhere that you should have a Love Plan to help bring love to your life. What is it and why do I need one? A. As I read this letter, a series of questions ran through my head: are you the sort of person, who applies a plan to your career, studies, social life? If not, a love plan is not for you. If so, then keep reading. A love plan should form an important part of your emotional tool-box. It’s there to keep topping up your self-esteem and remind you of how fab you are. It also helps you to focus and pinpoint the kind of person that you’d like to attract. When used correctly, it enables you to deal with emotional demons and baggage, leaving you with a clean slate. So rather than expecting Mr. Fixit to come along and make your life perfect – you’ve got to get your own backyard in order first. That involves figuring out who you are and what you’re looking for - there’s a much better chance of finding it if you know what it is! Q 5. My best mate seems to idolise me, at least that’s what he always says. I think it’s because he’s had a tough time during the recession and now has no job or any way of supporting his family, so he turns to me for advice. I’ve been lucky career wise and have made the right choices and consequently done well financially – which makes me feel guilty about his situation. What should I do? A. The foundation of your friendship is built on his shameless worship of you, and your need for shameless worship. So milk it. Give the guy everything you’ve got. Everyone needs a Number 1 fan! Instead of feeling guilty, invest your time in mentoring the guy, it only need take an hour a week. And approach it strategically, give him exercises to take away and work through and enjoy watching him flourish. Spread the love dude, that’s what success is all about isn’t it? Q. 6 My guy wants me to watch porn with him, but I hate it! How can I tell him that it’s not my thing without coming across like a prude? It all comes down to personal taste, and really, there’s no need to explain your reasoning beyond saying, it’s not your thing. If he’s a decent guy, he shouldn’t be that bothered, or surprised for that matter! It’s simply that in the case of many women, moral issues aside, we are less visually turned on than men. That doesn’t make you a prude - something you might want to remind him about. Do you have an appetite for any different kinds of variety and spice with your sex-life? If so, why not be adventurous and turn him onto the stuff you are into. That might help him forget about the stuff you’re not. Q 7. My sex drive isn’t as high as I’d like it to be and most of the time my partner is complaining that he doesn’t get enough; the problem is he wants it every morning, noon and night. I like it – just not all the time. A. OK, you’ve started by saying you’d like to have a gutsier sex drive – so put aside your partner’s needs for the moment and think about what you can do to increase your libido. You might find that paying closer attention to diet and exercise helps put you in the mood – so that’s a good start. As for Captain 3-times-a-day, there’s nothing wrong with gently saying no from time to time. The key here is in figuring out what you’re up for - is it sex every day? Once a day? If so, tell him and then stick to that. If it still seems to demanding, you might want to have a think about how compatible the two of you are, because chances are his sex drive is not going anywhere anytime soon – so unless you find some middle ground now – one or both of you is going to be miserable. Don’t underestimate the importance of sex either. It’s part and parcel of what you signed up for when you came into the relationship, so you do need to take it seriously if you value the relationship and see it as long term. Q 8. My girlfriend won’t let me touch her in certain ways or places and she’s never explained why. How are we supposed to become more intimate if she won’t let me in, so to speak? A. Did you know that more than 40% of women are sexually dysfunctional based on bad experiences in their sexual history? If your girlfriend doesn’t want to talk about it, you really need to respect that and be mindful of her sensitivities. With time and trust the desire to tell you may come, but until then your role is to help build and strengthen her trust in you until such time that she is comfortable enough to confide in you. And what’s the rush? Just use your imagination to stimulate her in the other places that you have the green light for.
The Game, by Neli StraussNovember 21st 2006 08:01
Has anyone ready The Game? If you have you’ll know it’s a super entertaining read, one that also sheds light to a bunch of bizarre courting habits. It seems that when fast talking boys want to get some fast girl action, they enlist the tactics of hired gun and
MPUA (Master Pick Up Artist) Neil Strauss, author of The Game. Huh? The Game, it’s an account of the incredible adventures of an AFC (average frustrated chump) who transforms himself from a shy, awkward peanut head into the slippery, smooth talking Style – a character who through a stream of smoking shtick and ‘the neg theory’ proves irresistible to women. Following their first glimpse of how sweet life could be with a string of foolproof seduction tactics on tap, it seems that chumps just want to have fun. Monkey see, monkey do
Surviving the long distance relationship…can you?October 28th 2006 17:31
Ah, the long distance romance. Surely the biggest challenge on the planet. Hands up who’s had one? I have. And I’ve lived to tell the tale. In fact I never would have left my rather cushy Sydney lifestyle for grey drizzly old London if I hadn’t pursued my hormones and followed my partner to London.
So what did I give up? Well what didn’t I give up? A fabulous lifestyle, friends, a support network, a great career that was gradually growing into my own business empire. Intimate knowledge of the Australian media infrastructure and the ability to pick up the phone and earn some money via my lifetime passion of writing. A very nice life
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