Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - by Jas

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Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - October 2006

Vegetables Gone Bad! Part 2

October 30th 2006 06:57

Juan and I held hands and prepared ourselves for what was to come. Actually I just placed my hand on his side as he is a Soccer Ball Ham and has no limbs to speak of. The demon-posessed Celery was still outside - on the other side of the Kelvinator door - baying for my blood and Juan's salty juices. "On three", I said as I resisted the urge to puke into the left over creamed corn at my side.
"One...two...thr-". I didn't even get to finish counting. Rising up behind Juan was a terrifying thing, a green, sinewy, evil thing. There was an awful silence as the spectre grew, finally completely overshadowing poor Juan. A low, gutteral growl shook the fridge and I could scarcely move as the evil Celery came at Juan, all thrashing stalks and flashes of green.

I felt terribly guilty but my first impulse was to take advantage of the distraction and make a get away. I could hardly watch as the wicked vegetable tore into Juan's succelent exterior. It was now or never.

TO BE CONTINUED...

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Posted By: Jas - Category: Existentialism

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VEGETABLES GONE BAD! Part 1

October 23rd 2006 18:10

VEGETABLES GONE BAD! Part 1

Juan the Soccerball Ham looked at me pleadingly. I don't know how he did this as he's just a lump of cured meat and has no eyebrows. We sat there together - freezing and exhausted - just behind a big jar of mustard pickles. I had to curb impure thoughts about Juan between 2 thick slices of sour-dough. He was my friend but by-gum did he look succulent.
We both wanted out but we knew that beyond the door of the Kelvinator was a seething ,merciless horde of demon-posessed celery just waiting for us to slip up.
Juan was getting panicky and he asked me to roll him a ciggie but I spat at him. "You're not going to pollute my chicken drumettes with cigarette smoke...you ham - you stupid, stupid ham!", I cried. Juan rolled the two places where his eyes would have been if he had them.

Outside there was a disturbing sound - like rats scratching the backs of Cornflake boxes - no - Weet-bix boxes. The tumult just beyind the fridge door was driving me mad. I wanted to burst out - ham in one hand, lit cigarette in the other and open a can of creamy whoop-ass on the crispy vegetables who now belonged to the Dark Lord. We had to come up with a plan to regain control of the kitchen - it was nearly dinner-time.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - by Jas

Stories: Put Them in Your Brain - October 2006

Vegetables Gone Bad! Part 2

VEGETABLES GONE BAD! Part 1

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