Sorry but I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment.
April 6th 2009 01:41
Humans have lots of sayings that none of us know the origin of. You have to go to an etymologist. And even they can’t tell you half of the time.
They take an “educated” guess. Well a child in Grade 1 can take an “educated” guess. I guess. And your guess is as good as mine. Nearly. Why can kids take educated guesses? Because the child is being educated. In an educational facility. Regardless of how little the child is learning. Or how much the teacher is thinking of pegging another teacher during class.
Dad used to always say, “Sorry, but I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment.”
If he’d said that as he started eating his dinner, you’d go, Here is a man of his word. But he said it when he didn’t even have a plate in front of him.
It was dad’s way of saying, my wife is driving me crazy and I can’t think straight until the bitch is out of my life.
Then dad would absorb himself in his work. To take his mind off things. All those electrical things. Which wire goes where and which thing couples with which thing. And never realising that he could have worked out why his marriage was rooted if he’d just used being an electrician as an analogy for life. The male bit goes into the female bit. If it doesn’t fit, you may as well get a new part.
But dad wanted to save the marriage for a long time. There’s nothing like a regular root. Or having sex on tap, I guess. And so he stayed with mum. And used to jerk off in the toilet. Over porno magazines. Because having a regular root and sex on tap in a marriage doesn’t mean you ever get your end in. Ask any man who has been married. They’ll all tell you the same thing.
There’s a lot of talk about glasses, but sometimes it’s the plate that’s half empty. Usually half-way through your meal, most times.
I guess life has just become a retrospective reflection for me now. I just sit in my jail cell and think about the things that happened outside the jail cell. Because not much happens in here. It’s not like they’re rehabilitating me to re-enter society. I’m just being punished because dad had too much on his plate.
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