Brisbane, Queensland, AUSTRALIA
Joined February 17th 2007
Recent PostsHiatus? What Hiatus?October 9th 2009 10:31
Ah, the calls of real life. How they distract you from what's truly important... like reviewing B-grade horror movies. However, I am now determined to find the time to keep this site regularly updated, so expect the flow to resume.
So don't you worry, my children. Daddy's home.
 Screamers: The HuntingOctober 9th 2009 10:13
Premise: Following on from the original Screamers, a group of army-type people must return to Sirius 6B to investigate a distress beacon. They get there and start dying. cough *Aliens* cough. To be honest, I haven't seen the original Screamers in many years, but from memory it is one of the most frightening experiences of my life. Well, it might have something to do with the fact that it was one of the first horror movies I ever saw, or the fact I have been intentionally avoiding it for fear of ruining a cherished childhood memory... So, the sequel could not possibly live up to my unreasonable expectations. Needless to say, it didn't. However, don't let me put you off. For a straight-to-DVD affair, this movie is surprisingly good. Acting: While nothing spectacular, is not as abysmal as I expected. Lance Henriksen, always a pleasure to watch, is fun to watch for the 5 minutes he is in the film. No terrible performances come to mind, which is a heck of a lot better than I was expecting. Effects: The highlight of the movie. The CGI'd screamers leaping out of the ground and getting shot down got a little repetitive in parts, but other than that the CGI was quite good. The best part of the movie though was the make-up, from released entrails to spikes exploding out of chests. There were some deliciously juicy kills, and my thirst for blood was definitely sated. Script: Easily the worst part of this movie... there was not one single original thought, from start to finish. The Hunting borrows heavily from Aliens, and what it doesn't steal from Cameron it steals from elsewhere. Even the mandatory cliched plot-twist ending is ridiculously predictable, and although I won't reveal it here, you will see it coming from at least half and hour away. And don't even get me started on the plot holes... eugh... Direction: Even though I haven't seen the original for well over a decade, I can distinctly remember the sense of paranoia that it was soaked in. While not as effective as The Thing (but seriously, what is?), it was good. That entire aspect of the movie is ditched in the sequel, in favour of straight out sci-fi carnage. Think Aliens compared to Alien, just less good (but seriously, what is?). Overall... really, I might make it sound bad, but this movie is actually pretty damn good for a straight-to-DVD project. Personally, I thought the make-up effects made the movie worth watching, but I'm a sucker for that stuff. If you want mindless futuristic carnage and some excellent gore that requires very little thought, this is the movie for you.
Movie Review: District 9August 17th 2009 14:06
Premise: Aliens land on Earth, with their ship settling to hover above Johannesburg. Instead of a delegation or an army, it appears the aliens are refugees and their ship has shut down. They are moved to a camp beneath the ship, which quickly devolves into a slum, walled in and ruled by gangs. Fast forward 20 years, and inter-species tensions are at breaking point. Seeking to control the situation, the government hires MNU (Multi-National United) to evict the million aliens, and move them to another camp further outside the city, where they will not cause so many problems. All I can say about this movie is... wow. Absolutely incredible. Star Trek blew me away, like only a truly breathtaking sci-fi movie can, and this is a feeling similar to what District 9 delivers. Script: Mind-blowingly excellent. It raises more questions than it answers, but not through plot holes (which is a nice change). I've been reading alot of criticism of the script online, but if you pay attention and think about things a little, there really aren't very many. Just because the movie doesn't spell everything out for you, doesn't mean it's got a weak script. The parallels with apartheid, and more recently with the racial tensions in South Africa, are easy to draw, and the movie is brutal in it's portrayal. The lives that the 'prawns' lead are not happy ones, and perhaps more disturbing is the fact that the shantytown used in the set is an actual place, evacuated during filming and it's residents moved to upgraded government housing (oddly echoing the events of the film). The only shack created for the film was that of the main prawn, Christopher Johnson. It's a depressing scene, and the fact that these aliens live the lives that human beings actually lead is never too far out of your thoughts during the movie. Speaking of Christopher Johnson, the idea of giving such an odd looking alien a human name is pure genius. It's such an ordinary sounding name, for such an odd creature. Over the course of the movie, we come to empathize with Christopher Johnson and the downtrodden prawns more than the brutal and oppressive humans, and by the end of the movie I genuinely cared whether or not they were going to succeed. Some of the merit for that goes to the script, which was surprisingly unpredictable. I went in knowing very little about the movie, and had no idea where the movie was headed. Given the glut of predictable, flimsily-scripted films that I have seen lately, it's nice to be entertained like that. Perhaps the triumph of the movie is, I hate to say it, the CGI. Being a horror man, I the idea of CGI usually doesn't sit right with me, but District 9 is something special. The movie had a budget of (only) $30 million, yet it easily has the look and feel of a $200 million dollar movie. Not once was the movie let down by weak CGI, from the superbly detailed mothership to the alien exo-skeleton (straight out of Aliens and on steroids) and it's impressive arsenal. There were come excellent moments of brutality that left everyone in the cinema a little stunned, especially involving one of the alien fighting-suits. Acting: The lead, Sharlto Copley, is not a professional actor. He was a sniper in Alive In Joburg, the short on which this film was based, and has no intention of pursuing an acting career. Despite his lack of experience, he displays some pretty hefty acting chops, and puts in a fine performance. David James plays a pretty mean bad guy, as do the various Nigerian gangsters. Now, it turns out that Blomkamp was working on the Halo movie adaptation, and when that fell through Peter Jackson came to him and said "Here's $30 million, make whatever you want", with District 9 being the result. I have heard unverified rumors that they took the unfinished halo movie and cannibalized it to make this one... and, seeing as I played a lot of Halo back in the day, I did notice some striking similarities. For instance, the white-ish rifle that the marines use is clearly modeled on a Battle Rifle, and some of the alien weapons bear resemblance to covenant weaponry. Of course the movie has nothing to do with Halo, so it isn't necessary to know this, but still worth keeping an eye out for if you're a fan of the games. Overall... Just great sci-fi. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and will definitely be seeing it again before it leaves the cinemas.
Movie Review: PushAugust 17th 2009 13:00
Before I begin, I know Push isn't a horror movie, and as such probably doesn't belong here. However, since I am the Alpha and the Omega, I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why Sy-Fy Is Dead To Me: A review of Snakehead TerrorAugust 14th 2009 23:47
Movie Review - Locusts: The 8th PlagueJuly 21st 2009 03:40
Movie Review: Alien RaidersJuly 14th 2009 08:27
Premise: A group of militants take the staff of a grocery store hostage, killing several customers and employees in the process. However, they aren't really bandits, and some of the 'hostages' aren't what they appear to be
Movie Review: SeveranceJuly 10th 2009 15:02
Premise: A group of employees working for a weapons manufacturer go on a team-building weekend, led by their boss Richard (Tim McInnerny). After being kicked off the bus by their Hungarian driver for reasons unknown, the group continue on foot until they supposedly find their lodge. It isn't long before they find that they are being hunted by an unknown enemy. apparently because of the company they work for
Movie Review: The SignalJuly 10th 2009 06:45
Premise: A weird signal begins to broadcast over every TV, radio & phone. Those that are exposed to it have their perceptions warped, suffer hallucinations, and are convinced to kill those around them. The story is told in 3 parts (or transmissions): The first follows the story of a girl name Mya (Anessa Ramsey), who is married to controlling husband (AJ Bowen), but is sleeping with another man (Justin Welborn). The second transmission follows the husabdn, Lewis, and the third follows the lover, Ben
An Open Letter to Aimee DentJuly 10th 2009 00:28
Before I begin, for the purpose of this rant I am assuming Aimee Dent is a persona of Alt_Ed. If I am wrong, please Ms Dent, correct away.
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