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soleil - by Soleil

soleil - December 2006

Feeling groundless

December 8th 2006 17:40
Have you ever felt the sense of groundlessness?
When your life deteriorated so badly and you have that sense of hopelessness that engulfed you ... no where to turn, no where to run, no way out.

Well, some people go through that many times during their lifetime.
Some never will.
This groundlessness is a both a test and a teacher.

The fall is rapid and seems never-ending.
Will you survive the fall and come through intact (or broken)?
Will you learn from this and come through a stronger person, having the lessons imprinted in your mind?

At a point during this experience, you will feel a certain calm and begin to surrender to it.

That's when you may begin to understand and learn the lessons that are being taught.
Do not ask of the question 'why me' for this is self-defeating in the loathsome self-pity.
Instead ask, 'what lessons are there to be learnt and have I learnt it?'.
For if you haven't learnt the lessons, the process may repeat itself and you may be trapped into a motion of falling over and over again but never understanding why.

Do not be afraid of falling and that there's nothing there to catch you.
In this life, we're all alone in one way or another.
It is how you fight the battles that make the person that you are.
If you are able to make it through on your own, you will see that you are merely living through the darkest hours before dawn.


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Trust and Broken Soul

December 8th 2006 12:32
Trust.
A crucial fundamental element to a relationship between two people.

When trust is broken, it may be difficult to rebuild.
For some people, it may not be something that is important in their life.
For others, it builds into their moral structure that you believe everyone is honest in their dealings.

What goes through your head when your trust is broken?
Do you shrug it off like it's one of those things that happen or does it impact you?

Once trust is broken too many times, you may start to question people's integrity in their dealings.

Using a personal experience as an example.

I am of the belief that people are honest, especially towards the people you care about.
I had a very close friend whom I no longer have any contact with due to trust being shattered.
Having as close a friendship we had, I trusted him in his actions and his words.
I had known him to be someone of the highest of integrity.
However, I later on discovered lies he'd told me that made me question our friendship.

Trust was broken and it affected me in a way I never thought it would.
It broke my soul.

I have always been a very easy-going, happy-go-lucky type of person.
But this experience made me questioned the motives and actions of everyone around me.
Are they being honest in their dealings with me?
Are these friendships without agendas?
From what foundations are these friendships built on?

This ties to another post I made about hurting the people you love.
If you truly love someone, why would you do anything to hurt them?
Would you not want the best for them?
What would make someone break another person's trust.

The friend I'd mentioned gave his reason as selfishness.
The person I known him as: someone who cared about the greater good of the world, the environment, human rights, environmental movement, human evolution, love as the world's energy vibration ...
These all turned out to be hypocrisy on his part.
He had exuded this facade of great kindness but beneath it all, he was a liar.
His own insecurities led him to using people to advance his real agenda and along the way, he hurt the people closest to him.
His cravings for fame and fortune outweighed the kindness that existed in him.
And that's sad.


The trust between him and I was broken and so was my soul.

So how important is trust to you?



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Do you hurt the ones you love?

December 7th 2006 09:17
How true is this saying?
Have you notice that the people you love the most, the people who are closest to you are the ones you hurt the most?

I mean, you would be nice as a pie to a stranger, to someone you have just met.
But when you're being angry or hurtful, you lash out on the ones you love?

Is it because you assume that they will always be there no matter what you do or whatever may happen?
Does this assumption lead you to take these people for granted?

Do you also notice that the people who you love are the ones who let you down most often?

So many questions ... I know.

I've been asking these questions from observing past personal experiences as well as observing others.

For example, a friend of mine from years back was doing voluntary social work.
She would be spending a lot of time looking after other people but neglecting the people closest to her ... namely her family and friends.
Her reasoning was that her family and friends would always be there but the people she was helping needed her most there and then.
This led me to question her reasoning.
Charity begins at home ... no?
How could she justify running after other people while the people closest to her were falling apart?
There were friends in need and probably needed her most at a point in time but she felt she couldn't be there for them as that would be taking time away from helping other people.
Interesting logic.


This leads to the question, how far would you go to help a friend in need?
A friend who is on the brink of suicide for example?
Would you walk away because you feel that is too big a burden to shoulder?
Would you let the friend self-destruct because you are too selfish to care?
Would you walk away because you only want to be surrounded by happy people?

What would you really do when it comes to the crunch?
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The End?

December 2nd 2006 20:15
Two people I know are breaking up.

I guess the age difference and them being at very different stages in their lives contribute to this break-up? We don't know


[ Click here to read more ]
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