Signs of the TImes
February 28th 2009 22:21
You know what's funny? Previously I was living in this vicious cycle of self-loathing and unhappiness. Life really seemed to be telling me I was worth nothing. I would be with these guys who used me and throw me away and I used this to fuel my dreadful opinion of myself. Having finally stepped out of that and assigned myself a bit of value they've all disappeared. I suppose now that I think I deserve a little better than the way I was letting myself be treated all the selfish losers I was hanging out with have disappeared. Maybe I was easy before. Not a slutty kind of easiness, more the doormat, pushover kind. And it's brilliant.
If I'd have known I was perpetuating my own unhappiness by not taking me needs seriously and not being able to take care of myself it wouldn't have made a difference. I guess the point is, I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. Like I'm allowed to be happy now. It's quite nice actually.
If you've got kids take this next comment with tragic seriousness. YOU WILL BREAK THEM. Being a parent is such power. Sometimes the apple falls unbelievably far from the tree and I suppose that can destroy a parent too. When you're child is not like you and can't see things the way you do shatters a dream for a lot of parents.
Most people will never cotton on to what's actually going on and I think I just might have. I've become vaguely aware that just because my family never understood me does not mean my ideas are invalid. I spent most of my teenage years thinking they were not interested in me. It took a lot to see it was because they simply couldn't understand it. I have to cut them a bit of slack too.
I think this post has not been too cohesive, but all that was desperate to be typed out of me and now I'm finished so I think I'll just let it be and go grab some brekky.
If I'd have known I was perpetuating my own unhappiness by not taking me needs seriously and not being able to take care of myself it wouldn't have made a difference. I guess the point is, I'm feeling pretty good at the moment. Like I'm allowed to be happy now. It's quite nice actually.
If you've got kids take this next comment with tragic seriousness. YOU WILL BREAK THEM. Being a parent is such power. Sometimes the apple falls unbelievably far from the tree and I suppose that can destroy a parent too. When you're child is not like you and can't see things the way you do shatters a dream for a lot of parents.
Most people will never cotton on to what's actually going on and I think I just might have. I've become vaguely aware that just because my family never understood me does not mean my ideas are invalid. I spent most of my teenage years thinking they were not interested in me. It took a lot to see it was because they simply couldn't understand it. I have to cut them a bit of slack too.
I think this post has not been too cohesive, but all that was desperate to be typed out of me and now I'm finished so I think I'll just let it be and go grab some brekky.
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