Love's second change
November 23rd 2008 14:52
Phillip's Story
I opened my eyes and found myself standing in a fog, a fog so dense I could not see more than 3 feet ahead of me. I stood there and I could hear a voice telling me to walk. I looked around and could not see anyone.
“Who’s there?” I called out, but no one answered me. “Keep walking” the voice said again.
“Who’s there?” I called out once again, yet again no answer. I started to walk cautiously down this path. I could hear the wind in the trees around me. As I walked the fog started to lift and I could see I was on a dirt path in the woods walking.
“Hello, is anyone there?” I kept calling out hoping someone would answer me. I walked on and on for what seemed hours. I looked at my watch it had stopped; the time said 1:00 none of the hands moved. I put the watch to my ear I could hear the ticking of the battery. Yet it did not move. It said 1:00 and I was not sure what was wrong with it. I taped it with my finger, nothing. I put it back on my wrist. I called out again. “Is anyone there?” Then the voice again. “Keep walking Phillip.” I was could not believe what I was hearing. Whoever this was they knew my name. I paused for a moment to look at my surroundings. I could see even more of the world around me. “Keep walking Phillip, do not stop.”
“Who are you and why do you want me to keep walking. I need to find out where I am, and where are you?”
“Phillip have faith, keep walking.”
I looked around the voice seemed to be so close; yet I could not see anything or anyone other than the woods around me. I kept walking and looking waiting for something familiar, or someone familiar. I did not stop walking; I walked for what felt like another hour or possibly two. I slowed down; I could see a figure in the distance. “Phillip, no matter what you see do not stop walking!” the voice sounded concerned for my safety. “Phillip do not stop keep walking.”
“Ok, I wont stop I will keep walking.” I could see it was a person on the side of the path sitting. As I approached I could see she was very pale and seemed so tired. “I had to stop.” She said “I had to stop I am so tired.”
I wanted to offer her my help but again the voice spoke to me. “Phillip keep walking.” This time it was very stern I could hear concern in the voice so I kept walking. The woman started to fade from view as I walked on.
“Who are you and why do I have to keep walking. Why couldn’t I help that woman?” like all the other questions this one also went unanswered. I walked the sun never seemed to change positions. I felt my surroundings must have been playing tricks on me. I knew I had been walking half the day by now and yet the sun was still in the same position the fog had not completely lifted. I had passed several people now. They all said the same thing. “ I had to stop I am so tired.” Did they hear the same voice I could hear?
“What is going on, who are you and what is going on?”
Nothing, there was no sound other than the sound of my own voice echoing through the trees. “Talk to me, or I am going to stop.” I slowed my pace as if I was going to stop. “Have faith Phillip, have faith.”
“Who are you, tell me why I should trust you.”
“Phillip you know who I am, we have been together all your life. When you needed someone to give you the right path in life, you trusted what I told you.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t know who you are, I don’t recognize your voice.”
“Phillip, have faith.”
“Stop telling me that, and tell me who you are!”
I stopped walking “Phillip Keep walking or it all ends here!” the voice was very stern and forceful. I was startled by how forceful it was. I started walking again, “what do you mean it ends here?”
I waited for a response, but got nothing. “What do you mean it ends here, am I dead?”
“Phillip, this is not heave. You are not dead; you are in between life and the after life. You have to keep walking.” I walked at a fast pace. I didn’t want to die, “what do you mean between life and the after life?”
“Phillip you were not meant to die, not here not like this.”
“Is that why you keep telling me to walk, to keep walking?”
“Yes Phillip, you have to keep walking, no matter how tired you get. You must keep walking!”
“I will, but please what happened to me?”
“That is not important Phillip, what is important is that you must keep walking.” I did just that. I walked for what felt like days. I started stumbling over my own feet. I was so tired I just wanted to sit.
“Tell me how much longer I have to walk.”
“I can not do that, that is up to you Phillip.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are not meant to die here on this battle field. You are meant to go on to do great things with your life. But if you feel you can not go on. God will understand if you need to stop and sit.”
“But you have been telling me I have to keep walking.”
“Your life will touch the lives of so many Phillip, you have to believe that. You have to keep fighting until the end of this journey.”
“This journey? This is just a journey and it will end?”
“Yes, like all journeys it will end, it will end with you waking up and knowing everything will be ok. Please Phillip keep walking.”
“Ok, I will keep walking.” I didn’t think I could go on, I had to drag myself down that path. I passed so many people who had given up. I wanted to pick them up and make them walk that path with me. Something inside me stopped me, I guess I knew I could not live their life for them. They had to decide their fate on their own. They chose to give up and die. I chose to keep walking no matter how log it took. I chose to keep going because I wanted to go home to see my family. As I walked I could see even more of the forest around me. I was not in Korea anymore. This place was not on earth. It was so pretty here, the mountains in the back, the trees. I could feel the wind blowing through the trees. I could hear every sound that I had taken for granted on earth. I walked, and I walked.
As I walked this path I found myself thinking about all those at home that I left behind. I knew I would see them again. I had no wife, no children at home. This walk was giving me the chance to have that. I walked and breathed in the smell of the trees and of life, and of death. I could smell death? I looked down at my hands and could see blood.
“What is happening to me?”
“Life is happing to you Phillip, life. Keep walking Phillip you are so close.”
I walked at a faster pace. The pain grew, the smell got stronger.
“I scared, why does it hurt so much?”
“Life is filled with pain. Just know Phillip through all of your pain, I am here.”
I closed my eyes and walked on, when I opened my eyes I was in a Hospital. I looked around I could see bed after bed. All of the men who were wounded with me, they were all here. I closed my eyes and said a prayer.
“Thank you God for giving me this chance at life. Thank you for helping me on this path. Thank you for everything.”
I listened to the sounds of the room with my eyes closed.
“Phillip, are you awake?” it was her voice the voice of the angel who had led me home. I opened my eyes.
“You, you brought me home.”
“Phillip, my name is Sarah I am your nurse.”
“You’re the angel who brought me home.” She smiled at me, I knew this was why I was given another chance. She was the life I was sent back to live.
Over the next few months I recovered and we spent hours together. She would come back even on her days off and we would walk together.
Sarah's Story
When the war started, I was working in a small town hospital. I wanted to me a nurse and was almost finished with my training. I was sent to work at a Military hospital when the war in Korea started. I was sent to take care of the men who came home wounded. It was a hard job and with a heavy heart I did it. The men would come back, just a shell of who they were when they left. I would sit for hours and cry after work. I found myself questioning God’s love for these me. The men who fought for us, and who even died for us. How could God allow war, I found myself fighting my own war within myself. I had been at the hospital for almost a year when I was given the chance to move on to another hospital in Hawaii. It was the first place many of these men were taken before they came here. I had decided after a lot of prayer and questioning God. I decided I would go, perhaps being there close to it all I would find the answers I needed. I didn’t know it then but my life was about to change.
When I arrived in Hawaii I was shocked at the beauty of it all. The gardens were so pretty. Even with my work at the hospital I was easier to believe there was a God here in this place. I knew in my heart, this was the right decision for me. I had been at the hospital for 2 weeks when they brought a new patient onto the floor I worked on. He was a young man who had stepped on a land mine and had been put back together. I would sit for hours and hold his hand he was not waking up, they said his body was in shock and that perhaps in time he would wake up. The Dr. was not hopeful. They sent word to his family that he was not expected to survive his injuries. I was not going to give up on him. I would sit and talk to him, hold his hand. I was not sure if he could hear me, but I couldn’t let him go.
I was tending to some other patients one morning when one of them pointed at Phillip. I looked over and his eyes were open, he was looking around. I finished what I was doing and then walked over to him.
“Phillip, are you awake?” I waited for him to open his eyes again.
“You, you brought me home.” He said and he looked at me, with this look like I had never known.
“Phillip, my name is Sarah I am your nurse.”
“You’re the angel who brought me home.” He said. I smiled at him, I knew this was why I was sent here to this hospital. I was given a chance to see Gods love.
Over the next few months Phillip recovered and we spent hours together. I would go back to the hospital even on my days off and we would walk.
Phillip was unlike any man I had ever met. He believed that God sent me to him so that he would live. How can you not fall in love with a man who believes you are his life? Phillip had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life. We would walk for hours in the garden outside the hospital. I found myself visiting him even on my days off. When it was time for him to be sent home, we had spent every day for the last 6 months together. I could not bear the thought of life without him. He had not mentioned my going with him. I wanted him to though. I wanted to marry him, to spend the rest of my life with him.
The day came for him to go. I was trying hard to fight back the tears and not succeeding at it.
“Sarah lets take a walk.” He reached for my hand and we walked out to the garden once again.
“Phillip this is very hard for me.”
“Sarah, sit down.” We came to a bench where we had spent hours sitting and talking.
“Do you remember what I told you the day I woke up here?”
“Yes, you said I brought you back.”
“Yes you did, you are my angel. You are the reason I am alive. Sarah I believe that God brought us together for a reason and I believe in my heart I know what that reason is.”
“Phillip.” He stopped me, “let me finish, Sarah I don’t have a ring to offer you. I have never met your family. But I know so much about you. I also know I do not want to go on another day without you. Sarah, will you marry me?”
“Phillip, Yes!” our story did not end with that yes. Our life began with that Yes. God did send us together and over the years we made a life together. I lost Phillip after only 30 years together he was 60 when he left me to go on yet another journey. I know now though that God will give us another life together I just have to be patient and I have to continue to walk on this path I have set before me. Life is not easy, but with God’s loves and the love of our family we can keep walking. I look forward to the day when Phillip and I can walk together once again.
I opened my eyes and found myself standing in a fog, a fog so dense I could not see more than 3 feet ahead of me. I stood there and I could hear a voice telling me to walk. I looked around and could not see anyone.
“Who’s there?” I called out, but no one answered me. “Keep walking” the voice said again.
“Who’s there?” I called out once again, yet again no answer. I started to walk cautiously down this path. I could hear the wind in the trees around me. As I walked the fog started to lift and I could see I was on a dirt path in the woods walking.
“Hello, is anyone there?” I kept calling out hoping someone would answer me. I walked on and on for what seemed hours. I looked at my watch it had stopped; the time said 1:00 none of the hands moved. I put the watch to my ear I could hear the ticking of the battery. Yet it did not move. It said 1:00 and I was not sure what was wrong with it. I taped it with my finger, nothing. I put it back on my wrist. I called out again. “Is anyone there?” Then the voice again. “Keep walking Phillip.” I was could not believe what I was hearing. Whoever this was they knew my name. I paused for a moment to look at my surroundings. I could see even more of the world around me. “Keep walking Phillip, do not stop.”
“Phillip have faith, keep walking.”
I looked around the voice seemed to be so close; yet I could not see anything or anyone other than the woods around me. I kept walking and looking waiting for something familiar, or someone familiar. I did not stop walking; I walked for what felt like another hour or possibly two. I slowed down; I could see a figure in the distance. “Phillip, no matter what you see do not stop walking!” the voice sounded concerned for my safety. “Phillip do not stop keep walking.”
I wanted to offer her my help but again the voice spoke to me. “Phillip keep walking.” This time it was very stern I could hear concern in the voice so I kept walking. The woman started to fade from view as I walked on.
“Who are you and why do I have to keep walking. Why couldn’t I help that woman?” like all the other questions this one also went unanswered. I walked the sun never seemed to change positions. I felt my surroundings must have been playing tricks on me. I knew I had been walking half the day by now and yet the sun was still in the same position the fog had not completely lifted. I had passed several people now. They all said the same thing. “ I had to stop I am so tired.” Did they hear the same voice I could hear?
“What is going on, who are you and what is going on?”
Nothing, there was no sound other than the sound of my own voice echoing through the trees. “Talk to me, or I am going to stop.” I slowed my pace as if I was going to stop. “Have faith Phillip, have faith.”
“Who are you, tell me why I should trust you.”
“Phillip you know who I am, we have been together all your life. When you needed someone to give you the right path in life, you trusted what I told you.”
“What are you talking about? I don’t know who you are, I don’t recognize your voice.”
“Phillip, have faith.”
“Stop telling me that, and tell me who you are!”
I stopped walking “Phillip Keep walking or it all ends here!” the voice was very stern and forceful. I was startled by how forceful it was. I started walking again, “what do you mean it ends here?”
I waited for a response, but got nothing. “What do you mean it ends here, am I dead?”
“Phillip, this is not heave. You are not dead; you are in between life and the after life. You have to keep walking.” I walked at a fast pace. I didn’t want to die, “what do you mean between life and the after life?”
“Phillip you were not meant to die, not here not like this.”
“Is that why you keep telling me to walk, to keep walking?”
“Yes Phillip, you have to keep walking, no matter how tired you get. You must keep walking!”
“I will, but please what happened to me?”
“That is not important Phillip, what is important is that you must keep walking.” I did just that. I walked for what felt like days. I started stumbling over my own feet. I was so tired I just wanted to sit.
“Tell me how much longer I have to walk.”
“I can not do that, that is up to you Phillip.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are not meant to die here on this battle field. You are meant to go on to do great things with your life. But if you feel you can not go on. God will understand if you need to stop and sit.”
“But you have been telling me I have to keep walking.”
“Your life will touch the lives of so many Phillip, you have to believe that. You have to keep fighting until the end of this journey.”
“This journey? This is just a journey and it will end?”
“Yes, like all journeys it will end, it will end with you waking up and knowing everything will be ok. Please Phillip keep walking.”
“Ok, I will keep walking.” I didn’t think I could go on, I had to drag myself down that path. I passed so many people who had given up. I wanted to pick them up and make them walk that path with me. Something inside me stopped me, I guess I knew I could not live their life for them. They had to decide their fate on their own. They chose to give up and die. I chose to keep walking no matter how log it took. I chose to keep going because I wanted to go home to see my family. As I walked I could see even more of the forest around me. I was not in Korea anymore. This place was not on earth. It was so pretty here, the mountains in the back, the trees. I could feel the wind blowing through the trees. I could hear every sound that I had taken for granted on earth. I walked, and I walked.
As I walked this path I found myself thinking about all those at home that I left behind. I knew I would see them again. I had no wife, no children at home. This walk was giving me the chance to have that. I walked and breathed in the smell of the trees and of life, and of death. I could smell death? I looked down at my hands and could see blood.
“What is happening to me?”
“Life is happing to you Phillip, life. Keep walking Phillip you are so close.”
I walked at a faster pace. The pain grew, the smell got stronger.
“I scared, why does it hurt so much?”
“Life is filled with pain. Just know Phillip through all of your pain, I am here.”
I closed my eyes and walked on, when I opened my eyes I was in a Hospital. I looked around I could see bed after bed. All of the men who were wounded with me, they were all here. I closed my eyes and said a prayer.
“Thank you God for giving me this chance at life. Thank you for helping me on this path. Thank you for everything.”
I listened to the sounds of the room with my eyes closed.
“Phillip, are you awake?” it was her voice the voice of the angel who had led me home. I opened my eyes.
“You, you brought me home.”
“Phillip, my name is Sarah I am your nurse.”
“You’re the angel who brought me home.” She smiled at me, I knew this was why I was given another chance. She was the life I was sent back to live.
Over the next few months I recovered and we spent hours together. She would come back even on her days off and we would walk together.
Sarah's Story
When the war started, I was working in a small town hospital. I wanted to me a nurse and was almost finished with my training. I was sent to work at a Military hospital when the war in Korea started. I was sent to take care of the men who came home wounded. It was a hard job and with a heavy heart I did it. The men would come back, just a shell of who they were when they left. I would sit for hours and cry after work. I found myself questioning God’s love for these me. The men who fought for us, and who even died for us. How could God allow war, I found myself fighting my own war within myself. I had been at the hospital for almost a year when I was given the chance to move on to another hospital in Hawaii. It was the first place many of these men were taken before they came here. I had decided after a lot of prayer and questioning God. I decided I would go, perhaps being there close to it all I would find the answers I needed. I didn’t know it then but my life was about to change.
When I arrived in Hawaii I was shocked at the beauty of it all. The gardens were so pretty. Even with my work at the hospital I was easier to believe there was a God here in this place. I knew in my heart, this was the right decision for me. I had been at the hospital for 2 weeks when they brought a new patient onto the floor I worked on. He was a young man who had stepped on a land mine and had been put back together. I would sit for hours and hold his hand he was not waking up, they said his body was in shock and that perhaps in time he would wake up. The Dr. was not hopeful. They sent word to his family that he was not expected to survive his injuries. I was not going to give up on him. I would sit and talk to him, hold his hand. I was not sure if he could hear me, but I couldn’t let him go.
I was tending to some other patients one morning when one of them pointed at Phillip. I looked over and his eyes were open, he was looking around. I finished what I was doing and then walked over to him.
“Phillip, are you awake?” I waited for him to open his eyes again.
“You, you brought me home.” He said and he looked at me, with this look like I had never known.
“Phillip, my name is Sarah I am your nurse.”
“You’re the angel who brought me home.” He said. I smiled at him, I knew this was why I was sent here to this hospital. I was given a chance to see Gods love.
Over the next few months Phillip recovered and we spent hours together. I would go back to the hospital even on my days off and we would walk.
Phillip was unlike any man I had ever met. He believed that God sent me to him so that he would live. How can you not fall in love with a man who believes you are his life? Phillip had the prettiest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life. We would walk for hours in the garden outside the hospital. I found myself visiting him even on my days off. When it was time for him to be sent home, we had spent every day for the last 6 months together. I could not bear the thought of life without him. He had not mentioned my going with him. I wanted him to though. I wanted to marry him, to spend the rest of my life with him.
The day came for him to go. I was trying hard to fight back the tears and not succeeding at it.
“Sarah lets take a walk.” He reached for my hand and we walked out to the garden once again.
“Phillip this is very hard for me.”
“Sarah, sit down.” We came to a bench where we had spent hours sitting and talking.
“Do you remember what I told you the day I woke up here?”
“Yes, you said I brought you back.”
“Yes you did, you are my angel. You are the reason I am alive. Sarah I believe that God brought us together for a reason and I believe in my heart I know what that reason is.”
“Phillip.” He stopped me, “let me finish, Sarah I don’t have a ring to offer you. I have never met your family. But I know so much about you. I also know I do not want to go on another day without you. Sarah, will you marry me?”
“Phillip, Yes!” our story did not end with that yes. Our life began with that Yes. God did send us together and over the years we made a life together. I lost Phillip after only 30 years together he was 60 when he left me to go on yet another journey. I know now though that God will give us another life together I just have to be patient and I have to continue to walk on this path I have set before me. Life is not easy, but with God’s loves and the love of our family we can keep walking. I look forward to the day when Phillip and I can walk together once again.
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