She's worse now
July 24th 2007 21:51
My step dad just called and up dated me on my mom. The hospice nurse can't find her blood preasure. She is also now hearing voices and hearing of all things, "Hammering". Thats weird, Hammering. She keeps complaining about who is hammering. She also is seeing a light. swearing the lights on, when their are NONE. It's taking everything i have to not jump in my truck and head back down their. I am not well and can't just run down there again. I said my good bye and now i need to rest and take care of myself. I'm drained and just relaxed alll day. I will relax the rest of the week, just watching the kids do stuff with the horses and such.
No matter if i do run right back down there, it will still not be enough goodbyes. I have to just stay put in PA. She's passing and theres nothing i can do about it. My brother is talking to a lawyer trying to sue the nursing home. They didn't take well care of her and maybe he should BUT for me, i don't know if they did or not so i'm not getting involved. He said he's not keeping any money won, if it is won, he's giving it to my step dad. i hope he does, if he wins. If not, then i don't think it's a good thing. He wasn't even raised by my momHe keeps talking about all the stuff he's doing now for her., what about in the past??? He wasn't there for her. I always was but i still don't want any of it. I told him to give it all to my step dad. I just don't want anything to do with it.
It just bothers me that it sounds like he doesn't aprove of me not being there. i come when and how long i can. when i lived there, i was always there for mom. I just wish he could see that but he wasn't around. "Just brushing it off my shoulder!" It's just not worth it to me. I know what i did and so does my mom. Thats all that matters.
I can't believe she's going to be dead any time now. Then she'll be cremated. They'll send her to me in a yurn, urn or whatever they call that thing. I don't want an urn, or whatever though. I want a pretty little vial or bottle. I'll put her in one of those when i get her. I'll plant a tree and make a plaque for her. so i have a place to go to and talk to her. Even though i'll drive her crazy like i do my grandma and cousins, always talking to her everyday. Telling them, out loud, to turn around, when i go to get dressed. <winks> I was hoping she didn't die until after my possible gastric bypass. Now she'll see just how fat i realy am, first time i get dressed. She's fat too and thats the only thing that helps me deal with that.
ok, i'm off to do something. Not sure what yet, but it will be something sitting down. lol
Tammy
It just bothers me that it sounds like he doesn't aprove of me not being there. i come when and how long i can. when i lived there, i was always there for mom. I just wish he could see that but he wasn't around. "Just brushing it off my shoulder!" It's just not worth it to me. I know what i did and so does my mom. Thats all that matters.
ok, i'm off to do something. Not sure what yet, but it will be something sitting down. lol
Tammy
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Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
again, my thoughts and prayers are with you and yours today and everyday...
A gentle hug and some kind words from me hon...
Take care and God bless,
Nick
Comment by Miss Nomer