Sexy vs. good looking
April 12th 2007 04:44
I was born too late. Most of the public male personalities I find sexy are either really old or long dead. Oh, there are one or two floating around now..George Clooney comes to mind. But sometimes I long for the days when men routinely wore suits and ties, were well groomed on a daily rather than occasional basis, and didn't feel like they had to show you their worst side before they showed you their best side, i.e. "This is the real me! (in ratty clothes, drunk, whiny, petty, smelly..take your pick) If you don't love me you're shallow and fake!"
Of course, that applies to women too..but this blog is about men.
There are plenty of good looking men out there, but precious few sexy ones. What defines sexy? That's a pretty subjective thing, but I think there are a few common points that all women can agree on...
Confidence. That covers a lot of ground, from being comfortable in one's own skin to having a great sense of humor to being humble enough to ask directions when one becomes lost. Confidence is the cornerstone to a sexy personality, without a doubt. This is not to imply that the flip side of confidence is sexy; that being arrogance. There's a big difference between the two!
Empathy. The ability to see the other points of view besides one's own is always sexy.
Toughness. This doesn't mean one has to go around breaking beer bottles against one's skull. This means being at least as mentally self-sufficient (tough) as the woman or women one is interested in. Bursting into tears, having a tantrum or otherwise indulging in immature displays of temper is not going to score points with anyone. Be a man!
Good grooming. This ties in with confidence. If you're well groomed at the start you can forget about your appearance altogether and concentrate on more important things like interesting conversation; this is called charm.
Speaking of interesting conversation--I read a truly brilliant quote the other day. A certain male personality remarked in an interview that he never learned about women till he was in his forties. When asked what he had learned, he said: "To talk to them as you would talk to anyone you aren't trying to f**ck." Absolute genius, because he hit it right on the head. Women aren't so oblivious to your interest that you have to make every chance remark into sexual innuendo or constantly stare at her rack while she's talking. She might be *acting* oblivious; if so, she either thinks you're moving too fast or she's not interested sexually.
You may have noticed by now that outside of grooming, no mention has been made about physical appearance. That's because it's relatively low compared to the other traits mentioned here. A handsome guy has about 5 minutes' advantage over a sexy guy, till he opens his mouth. If he could just stand around looking handsome and not talking, he might have a ten minute advantage.
The fact remains, though, that contrary to what some have believed for centuries, beauty is no guarantee of intelligence, nobility, or niceness. Or sexiness.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia
Of course, that applies to women too..but this blog is about men.
There are plenty of good looking men out there, but precious few sexy ones. What defines sexy? That's a pretty subjective thing, but I think there are a few common points that all women can agree on...
Confidence. That covers a lot of ground, from being comfortable in one's own skin to having a great sense of humor to being humble enough to ask directions when one becomes lost. Confidence is the cornerstone to a sexy personality, without a doubt. This is not to imply that the flip side of confidence is sexy; that being arrogance. There's a big difference between the two!
Empathy. The ability to see the other points of view besides one's own is always sexy.
Toughness. This doesn't mean one has to go around breaking beer bottles against one's skull. This means being at least as mentally self-sufficient (tough) as the woman or women one is interested in. Bursting into tears, having a tantrum or otherwise indulging in immature displays of temper is not going to score points with anyone. Be a man!
Good grooming. This ties in with confidence. If you're well groomed at the start you can forget about your appearance altogether and concentrate on more important things like interesting conversation; this is called charm.
Speaking of interesting conversation--I read a truly brilliant quote the other day. A certain male personality remarked in an interview that he never learned about women till he was in his forties. When asked what he had learned, he said: "To talk to them as you would talk to anyone you aren't trying to f**ck." Absolute genius, because he hit it right on the head. Women aren't so oblivious to your interest that you have to make every chance remark into sexual innuendo or constantly stare at her rack while she's talking. She might be *acting* oblivious; if so, she either thinks you're moving too fast or she's not interested sexually.
You may have noticed by now that outside of grooming, no mention has been made about physical appearance. That's because it's relatively low compared to the other traits mentioned here. A handsome guy has about 5 minutes' advantage over a sexy guy, till he opens his mouth. If he could just stand around looking handsome and not talking, he might have a ten minute advantage.
The fact remains, though, that contrary to what some have believed for centuries, beauty is no guarantee of intelligence, nobility, or niceness. Or sexiness.
Image courtesy of Wikipedia
A truly sexy man! Not especially good looking, but sexy.
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Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner
Take care,
Nick
Comment by D. Armenta
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Funny thing..your jealousy post caught my eye and I just commented on it before coming here, so it wasn't a courtesy return comment! Looking forward to reading more of your stuff.
Comment by MelissaA
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I don't know that I'm qualified to comment now, being married for a long time and all... ; )
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Comment by Sarka Ksandrova
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Thank you for interestingpost.
Comment by D. Armenta
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Comment by JohnDoe
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Sexy is not always beautiful, but beautiful is always sensual.
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Comment by D. Armenta
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What constitutes bad manners?
The male mystique
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Comment by Joanne Fedler
Secret Writers Business
I would add to your list, my NUMBER ONE requirement for sex appeal: a sense of humour. Brains too. But I guess people who are funny are clever. For me, the hormones start buzzing with Jerry Seinfeld, Rove McManus, John Cleese.
A man who doesn't talk about himself ... now THAT'S sexy.
Jo