Self Serving, Self Destruction
February 2nd 2008 03:24
So today I went to the grocery store.
I'm not big on shopping and lately I'm not all that big on food either. However there is something fun about the grocery store. You get to deep-dive into the personal tastes and interests of everyone else around you.
I stalked the isles slowly, taking in the parade of brands and advertisements currently encircling me. Kids in tow, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the vastness of my choices. Literally - I just wanted some cereal. I guess I vastly underestimated the power of the capitalist market because I was facing down a selection that could easily consume eight hours worth of deliberation.
Captain Crunch, Sugar Free, Extra Charms, Now With Chocolate, Now Without Chocolate, Toy Inside, Razorblade Hide, Frosted Flakes, Soy Shreds, Wheat Chunks, Tofu Hunks, Magical Squares, Cookie Bears, Fruity Loops, Neon Hoops, and "Republican O's That Melt In Your Wallet Not In Your Morals."
Ultimately I think I bought the Razorblade Hide cereal. It's the box with the junky on the front and the fried flakes inside cut your mouth when you eat them. Like Frosted Flakes on steroids. The kids love em'.
I spent a solid four hours in the grocery store trying to come up with some kind of makeshift supply of food so we all didn't starve this week. I kept getting side-tracked. Absolutely fascinated with the odd behaviors of people and their purchases. People reading the backs of sponges to see their features (They clean stuff). People stocking up on alcohol so they didn't have to feel anything (wish I could). Soccer mom's picking up the Low/Zero/Reduced/Polar Opposite of fat varieties of foods to spare themselves a wrinkle and a bless them a year (killed in car crash).
It all just felt so... pointless. Though most things do these days.
After I had dropped the 200 dollars and felt my wallet shrivle up in my pocket I went outside to have a smoke. I had the kids sit on a bench about 2 yards away. Immediately I noticed people staring at me. Giving me strange looks and long paused glances. I knew what it was, it wasn't new.
"Why is that man not standing near his children?!?!"
Was the screaming sound coming from those silent eyes. It was the bitching moan coming from the pursed lips. It was every word that spineless people won't say.
If you're curious why I don't stand next to them it's because I'd rather spare them the second hand smoke. If I stand too close, I'm poisoning them. If I stand too far, I'm abandoning them. I know, I know, I've heard it all before.
Tell you what though- Give me two more seconds to suck down this toxic, white, Tootsie roll and then we'll all have a group hug. Until then. Mind your own damn business.
Cat food.
I'm not big on shopping and lately I'm not all that big on food either. However there is something fun about the grocery store. You get to deep-dive into the personal tastes and interests of everyone else around you.
I stalked the isles slowly, taking in the parade of brands and advertisements currently encircling me. Kids in tow, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the vastness of my choices. Literally - I just wanted some cereal. I guess I vastly underestimated the power of the capitalist market because I was facing down a selection that could easily consume eight hours worth of deliberation.
Captain Crunch, Sugar Free, Extra Charms, Now With Chocolate, Now Without Chocolate, Toy Inside, Razorblade Hide, Frosted Flakes, Soy Shreds, Wheat Chunks, Tofu Hunks, Magical Squares, Cookie Bears, Fruity Loops, Neon Hoops, and "Republican O's That Melt In Your Wallet Not In Your Morals."
Ultimately I think I bought the Razorblade Hide cereal. It's the box with the junky on the front and the fried flakes inside cut your mouth when you eat them. Like Frosted Flakes on steroids. The kids love em'.
I spent a solid four hours in the grocery store trying to come up with some kind of makeshift supply of food so we all didn't starve this week. I kept getting side-tracked. Absolutely fascinated with the odd behaviors of people and their purchases. People reading the backs of sponges to see their features (They clean stuff). People stocking up on alcohol so they didn't have to feel anything (wish I could). Soccer mom's picking up the Low/Zero/Reduced/Polar Opposite of fat varieties of foods to spare themselves a wrinkle and a bless them a year (killed in car crash).
It all just felt so... pointless. Though most things do these days.
After I had dropped the 200 dollars and felt my wallet shrivle up in my pocket I went outside to have a smoke. I had the kids sit on a bench about 2 yards away. Immediately I noticed people staring at me. Giving me strange looks and long paused glances. I knew what it was, it wasn't new.
"Why is that man not standing near his children?!?!"
Was the screaming sound coming from those silent eyes. It was the bitching moan coming from the pursed lips. It was every word that spineless people won't say.
If you're curious why I don't stand next to them it's because I'd rather spare them the second hand smoke. If I stand too close, I'm poisoning them. If I stand too far, I'm abandoning them. I know, I know, I've heard it all before.
Tell you what though- Give me two more seconds to suck down this toxic, white, Tootsie roll and then we'll all have a group hug. Until then. Mind your own damn business.
Cat food.
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