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When I was pregnant, every one asked me how I felt about becoming a mother. Truth is I was very nervous. In today’s society, there is still the expectation that the mother will play the major role in bringing up the children. Indeed, most of society’s ills are blamed on mothers. However the more I read about this, the more I realise that the fathers role is just as crucial in the psychological well being of the child.
More men are now participating in the hands on care of their child, and the ones I have spoken always tell me what a rewarding experience it is. Even more importantly though, research shows that children with fathers that are actively involved in the child rearing process tend to be less stressed or delinquent, (M Black from the Maryland School of Medicine). They also have better language skills, and fewer behavioural problems than children with absent or uninvolved fathers.
There is more to it than wiping the odd dirty bottom and giving the child a bottle. The fathers who are involved in their child’s physical and emotional upbringing throughout childhood report closer relationships with their children when they reach adolescence (Flouri and Buchanan Oxford University). Furthermore, children who have a close relationship with their father in adolescence go on to have more satisfying adult relationships.
Parental involvement is also a significant factor in children’s later academic attainment, with those having both parents involved at age 7 having reached higher academic levels by the age of 20.
The good news is that the same results were seen even with fathers who no longer live with the mother as long as they keep up the relationship with the child.
I think a child needs of plenty of love and care to provide them with a sense of worth and confidence, without having an over inflated idea of their self worth. There think there are plenty of fathers that want to be involved from the beginning but feel pushed out by the over protective mother. Fathers need to be given the opportunity to make mistakes and find their own way in the same way mothers have
“You need to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince,” or so the saying goes.
If that’s not bad enough, finding Mr or Ms Right is also a costly business. A market research agency in Britain, onepoll.com has even put a price on it, £2397.33. This is based on a survey of 4000 Brits, who claimed they went on an average of 39 dates, with 15 different people at a cost of £61.47 per date, before they found their mate.
This figure is even higher among women who spend between £31.62 - £1,233, on a new date outfit. I am guessing men do not get off lightly though, especially if they are the type who feel they should pay regardless of whether or not they are interested in pursuing it.
Of course, these figures are just averages. I have friends who found their mate in their early 20s so that saves a bit of time and money. Then there are others such as myself that date, get married, get divorced, date for another 5 years, then get married again. The dating world is tough for some, and I have to say I am glad to be out of it.
I remember those days of excitement leading up to a date with a new person, followed sometimes by disappointment when you realise that the person is not for you and you have to start again.
My guess that the price of finding true love in Australia is probably comparable, especially if you are internet dating. I know people that go on 3 or 4 dates per week, maybe it is better just to meet someone for a coffee first before splurging on an outfit.
It is human nature to want to find someone special, but is the cost of finding love too high? Or is it a worthwhile investment?
Major changes to the baby bonus scheme means parents of babies born after January 1st 2009 may not be eligible for the bonus. If your (joint) taxable income (ATI) is over $75000 for the six months AFTER the birth, you will not be eligible. However, if you are in a higher income bracket, there are ways to help improve your eligibility.
Let’s look at the facts. As of January 1st 2009, new parents (including those that adopt) will only receive a baby bonus if they earn $75,000 or less in the 6 months following birth, or after the child comes into your care. The $5000 payment will be paid in fortnightly instalments over 13 weeks, after eligibility has been satisfied.
The following are included in estimating income:
Taxable income – That is your salary less allowable deductions (charitable donations, income protection insurance etc. Check the ato website for more details PLUS
Employer provided fringe benefits over the value of $2000 (which must be declared) PLUS
Rental property gains/losses PLUS
Tax Free pensions or benefits PLUS
Targeted foreign Income MINUS
Child support payments paid to a third party.
Therefore, you may think if you have an annual taxable income less than $150k you should be ok, right. Well hopefully but you need to be aware of other sources of income. For example, someone with an annual income of $100k ($50000 in 6 months), who sells an investment property in the 6 months following the birth at a profit may be caught out.
The thing with the baby bonus is it is all or nothing. So if you earn $75,000, in the six months after the birth then you get it, if you earn $75,001 you miss out there is no gradual decline.
If you are borderline, there are ways you of reducing your taxable income, such as:
Salary Sacrifice – Put a lump sum into your super package, which will be win win, you boost your super, and get the bonus.
Pre pay some expenses such as income protection, which can be paid up to a year in advance.
Take a holiday – If you are going on maternity leave consider taking a holiday or leaving a bit earlier so that your holiday pay is not paid in a lump sum adding to your taxable income.
Sit down with an accountant and discuss your options. Good luck, if you cannot swing it, I am sure your little darling will be a big bonus in itself.
For more information check out the Family Assistance Website
I am pretty happy about the way my daughter has developed so far. She is quite sociable, although a bit shy at first, she has a bright smile and her laugh is infectious. Lately however she has developed a taste for human flesh.
It started out slowly; first, she used to bite the coffee table when she didn’t get her own way. Now she has started biting me when I tell her not to do something, or I am trying to teach her not to pull the cats ears (the cats seem to be more patient than me at times). So far I haven’t heard any reports from day care of her biting staff, or other children, but I would rather avoid that if at all possible
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Private jokes, confiding in each other, and bickering, sounds like any normal relationship, but what if this relationship is not with your partner, but with a workmate? Introducing the work spouse, a person of the opposite sex with whom you have a close relationship, that in many ways mimics a real life partnership. However, this relationship is purely plutonic.
According to a poll by CareerBuilder.com around 23% of people claim to have a work spouse. I know I definitely had one in a job I had about 8 years ago
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Did you know that Taronga is an Aboriginal word meaning "beautiful view"? Visit Taronga Zoo in Sydney, and you will soon discover how it got its name. Set on a hill in Mosman, the Zoo overlooks the Harbour. So not only do you get to see the amazing animals, you also get magnificent views of the City, the Opera House, and the Harbour Bridge.
Taronga Zoo is huge, and home to many local and exotic animals. Start with Wild Australia and see many of the animals that call Australia home, from colourful birdlife, to wombats, and of course the kangaroo
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“Hey you aren’t worth as much as free food.” That is what you will be told if your friends decide to sacrifice you in The Whopper Sacrifice, the latest Burger King offering on Facebook.
Burger King is offering Facebook members a free Whopper Burger if they dump 10 friends. Usually on Facebook you can anonymously dump your friends, but if you decide to install the BK Application, your friends are informed they are dumped with a note telling them they are not worth as much as free food. If that does not make you feel bad enough, the application also adds a message in the news feed, so everyone else knows you have been dumped for a Whopper
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We spend so much time carefully planning our life. What we want to do for a career, what educational path we want to take, and how we will spend our hard-earned money. Yet one thing we do not plan, is how we are going to find our future partner.
Why is this? Dr Epstien from the University of California, who recently spoke Psychologies magazine, thinks the problem lies with fairy tales. We expect to meet someone or “The One” fall madly in love, and that is it for life, we all live happily ever after. It’s like we are not interested if we don’t immediately feel that instant bolt of energy. In reality though, if you think you are in love with someone straight away you are probably in love with an idealised version of them, or its probably good old fashioned lust
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Less than two hours drive South West of Brisbane lies the rolling green hills of The Lamington National Park, set within the Gold Coast Hinterland. The area, which is one of Australia’s best subtropical rainforests, boasts extensive walking tracks where visitors can explore the spectacular forests, waterfalls and wildlife.
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A condom that measures the size of your manhood, why would you bother? If you were a well-endowed bloke then you have nothing to prove, if you are not, chances are you won’t want to advertise the fact.
Obviously Curiosite the makers of the Condometric feels there is a need for such a product. The Condometric condom has a ruler printed on the side of it (imperial and metric versions are available), so next time you have sex you can measure the size of your mans member
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Comment by Sara Dobson
on The Importance of Being Dad
Parents Precinct
My Turn
good to see you around again. Or maybe it is me that has not been around for a while.
Sara