Sandi

Florissant, Missouri, UNITED STATES


Joined September 22nd 2006

Number of Posts:
120

Number of Comments:
128

Karma:
2



"Mommy has a funny thing in her brain that makes her sleep a lot"

About Me
I am a 29 year old stay at home mom. I have two beautiful kids, one six year old girl named Aslinn, and one two year old boy, named Jonathan. (Aisy and Jonny) I have been married 9 years to a wonderful man that is currently stationed in our hometown as a recruiter for the United States Navy. We're counting down the days until he goes back out to sea with a ship.

I have recently been diagnosed with depression. This diagnosis has changed my life. I now have answers for all the things I have always hated about myself (including the hatred I had for myself) I was given an anti depressant, and now see the world with a different set of eyes.

My diagnosis, and my new meds have changed the way I function in the world. It has changed the way I am as a person, as a wife, and the best part as a mother. This is about my journey.

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Recent Posts

Good Lord almighty. Today has been a day.

I went on a weekend trip this past weekend with some girls I know from the Internets. The six of us have talked daily for about a year. I'm instant messaging one or another or all of them all day long. We have a good time. We have some of the same interests, yet different enough to keep things interesting. We have fun, we're all friends and we decided to meet up.

We all belong to a board that was started for kids Jonny's age. All six of us had boys around the same time and that';s how we met. We've been together (the whole board) for a long time, but the six of us just clicked. Little did I know that it was against the board rules (by the reaction we got today) to not tell everyone every aspect of our lives. That where my money goes, and where my time is spent is up to the majority of the board.

We went to Chicago. Ate a lot of greasy food, did a chocolate buffet, was berated by our waiter at Ed Debevics, ate delcious popcorn, and in general just hung out for a weekend. One girl is a photographer and posted pics on our board that we all belong to. Next thing we know we're being berated for being so hush hush about it. For not inviting sixty people to join us. Some of them were such fucking hoors about it, I commented that if they wanted to know why they weren't invited... just read the fucking thread. They even started a POLL as to who knew we were friends. It got ugly. The bad thing? It was all done anonymously on our Dirty Laundry board.

It is amazing to me how offended people got. I mean words like "hurt" and "left out" were thrown willy nilly. When I defended our position (it was our money, our vacation how we wanted to spend it was our busniess) I was told I had an attitude and was a total bitch basically. I mean we knew there would be some eyerolling across the land, but the way we were assaulted boggles our minds. We all kind of down about it, and if we had known, we would have kept our traps shut.

I just dont get being so invested in someone elses lives. I like my board, it's good for a laugh or info or what have you, but I can honestly say that the majority of those women are not my FRIENDS, sure a few more than the six I know are my friends, but not to the extent I guess these women thought.

It turned into something all together disturbing. We got a lot of support but the fact that someone even started it, and that others agreed has left me feeling pissed. I didn't know everything I did had to go through them.

Then later today I did a round table discussion on groceries stores. It was about one store in particular and its a store Im ok with, but I dont LOVE it or anything. Women were getting MAD about the bad stuff some of us were saying. Eye rolling, and snapping at each other, as if they actually OWNED the chain we were speaking of. One lady was down right unpleasant about it, saying "Well if you want to waste your money be my guest"

What is it about people that make them so invested in something that they feel offense to what strangers have to say? From my board to that round table discussion, I've been dealing with it all day. I just don'tget it. Six people meet up, and it causes chaos on our board, I don't think Shop N SAve has good meat, so I get the stank eye.

Women are crazy. That's the only thing I can think of. Maybe I am the very same way and can'tsee it. From my point of view though, it makes absolutely no sense to me. Why anyone would even CARE about our trip, or whether or not I prefer Dierbergs just baffles me.
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MMMMM Yum.

April 30th 2007 07:04
There is nothing that tastes better than a bowl of post coital Frosted Flakes.
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All this Tony working so much has me thinking about how to get people to work. There is a coworker of Tony's who has basically given up. He says if he does well, he works late, if he does bad, he works late. So why bother? Tony is of a different ilk. He is more like my sister and mother. The need within them to succeed and do well is enough for them to keep chugging along. No matter if they're working late, being treated not that well, or working with arthitic hands to build furniture.

This quality in people awes me in some respects, but I'm like Tony's coworker. Fuck you if you're not giving me my due. Work strike anyone?

Yet, it brings up a good question. Should people be compensated for a job well done, or hell doing their jobs period? Even children? Should they get money for every A? Should they get a treat for using the potty? Where does it end you know? Should you get a bonus for every contract you put in?

Let's face it... bonuses help.

When I worked in hotels we had bonuses at the first two I worked for. Both were owned by the same company, I'm sure that's why. For every night we sold out during a certain time of year, we got $10. Sometimes by the end of the month we would get an additional $100-$200 a month. That is a big chunk of money. It helped when you were working the night shift, and you got a call for distressed passengers, knowing you could get $10 for going the extra step, even a pain in the ass one, made it a little easier to say "Yes, we have rooms"

The other hotel I worked for didn't believe in incentives. They also didn't believe in renovations, or creating an honest work enviroment, but that's another story all together. My general manager once told me "We shouldn't have to pay you more to do your job". Even though that sucked ass, it got me thinking. I mean, isn't he right? We get paid an hourly wage if it was a pittance. Shouldn't THAT be enough to be polite, smile and hit every point on the reservations script?

With children, it's the same. I'd love to instill in my kids that doing a job well done is the greatest reward. They have me for a mother though. I half ass most my life, and I'm ok with that. I am one half assed job away from being a slacker, if I'm being honest with myself. I have been known to reward my kids for a job well done. Jonny gets a new Cars toy if he poops in the potty, Aislinn gets a little trinket if she does well in school, or doesn't lose a stick for a whole month.

We have yet to reach the point where my kids EXPECT a crap toy for every good deed. So, I assume I've not taken it too far. More than anything they love when I make a fuss over them. Praise them for their good works, their good deeds, their kindness.

I think that is what it all boils down to. People want to be appreciated. They want to be told "Hey! You're doing a good job!. Thanks for all your hard work!" In the workforce that doesn't happen very often. If someone had just said "Hey great job!" I think that would have been enough for me to go that extta mile. You might say that maybe I wasn't doing a good job. I know I was. Even though I'm a slacker, I still worked and did what I had to do, even if I was 25 minutes late coming in and took an extra long lunch. I am a smart person, and I think that the only reason WHY I got lazy is becuase I felt unappreciated.

I think the thing to remember is people love being told they're doing good. That is the best incentive a person, or company can do in my opinion. Appreciate the people who do for you, whether it be launder your dirty socks, or maximize your revenue. A pat on the back is free, yet people are so stingy with them.
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Here comes Peter Pooin' tail.

April 22nd 2007 19:39
Today, after changing Johnny's pull up, he got out a wipe and to scratch his butt. This was after begging me to "stick my finger in my booty. It ITCHES!!" (I refused, hence the wipe). After he was done scratching, he kept the wipe in his butt, and yelled "Look! I have a tail. Waggle waggle" as he's waggling his butt all around, swinging the wipe from his ass. This was all very funny, and I laughed quite hard.

Later, recounting the story to Tony, I was hit with my own "butt waggling" memory. When I was about Aislinn's age (see, seven is just a WEIRD age) everytime I would wipe after a poop, I would take a wad of toilet paper to make sure I wiped really well. (I was once embarrassed for a classmate who bent over and had a huge poop stain on her undies, and had been scarred ever since of poor wiping) if the tissue was clean (and free from any blood from my vigorous wiping) I would then stick the was of tissue back in my butt, I would hop around the bathroom singing "Here comes Peter Cotton Tail


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Weird? No, just seven.

April 20th 2007 22:07
Today, we had a field trip, and being the good mom I try to be, I went. I'll admit I dreaded it. Kids, even though I have two of my own, annoy me. I'm not a kid person, although I love my kids to death. So, to go and be SURROUNED by children that were not my onw, honestly scared the beJesus out me. They like whine and ask for things, becuase you're always stuck with some kid that parents couldn't make it to the field trip.

Anyway, within minutes, we're in a noisy school bus, and it was then that I realized my child, Aislinn is completely normal. You would not know how much this comforts me


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You know those pennies would come in handy some day LOL
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I can only take so much.

April 19th 2007 03:35
My husband has turned into one of those evil dads on tv. You know the ones, cell phone to his ear, shooing the kids away to talk business, working insanely long hours, and not participating in the everday shit that goes on with his family. I will never look at those dads on tv the same again, and for that matter I will not ever look at my husband the same way.

It's 10. The kids are hopped up on sugar and sleepiness. Being extra spazzy. We had a bday get together for my sister and we had just gotten home at 9:30. Aislinn who has turned into a shower goob insists that she take a SHOWER NOW because she feels "icky",. She's showering and of course Jonny won't go to bed until she does


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I have a new addiction....

April 17th 2007 17:49
Scrapbook blogging!!

It's SOO much fun


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Design on a dollar.

April 16th 2007 01:48
Ok first of all..... hey why does Orble switch crap around ALL the time. I have the hardest time making a post, trying to find WHERE it is I'm supposed to click. Remember, Orble, I am NOT as smart as a fifth grader, so I need it to be some what easy.

I have become obsessed with redecorating. There is just a tiny glitch in that.... money. It's not that I want anything fancy. Just you know I want it to be good quality, look nice and be like free when it comes to price. Sheesh even bedding is so expensive. Everything I like is expensive. I am not one of those people that can throw shit together and make it look nice. I'm just not. I am the reason stores set up displays, I go Oh that looks fabulous, give me all of that


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Bad mommy.

April 13th 2007 17:00
I've been feeling the strain lately of being a mom. This is always something I am hesitant to speak about because I've had people tell me before that as single moms, they are offended that I "whine" about not having a "break" from the kids. Although, yes we are lucky to have what we have, and we should be thankful for our lots in life, I often wonder how would these single moms feel if someone told them to stop whining about life and be glad they have a job, or a car, or whatever. A lot of times these single moms make WAY more than we do as a two parent family. But, would I dare come to them and say "It really hurts me when you talk about how much money you make, and how you can afford to like put your kids in classes, and take them out all the time" No of course not. We all make choices, some good, some bad, and we all have to deal.

Anyway, sorry personal rant there


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Recent Comments

Comment by Sandi
on Here comes Peter Pooin' tail.

April 23rd 2007 03:03
Charliesgirl... that is too funny!! I bet she was embarrassed as all get out wasn't she?

Nick..... I could totally see my daughter doing the very same thing. Only difference from me and your dad, I would have given her a handful of oats and went on my way. LOL

Comment by Sandi
on I have a new addiction....

April 20th 2007 21:49
Christe... why does everyone say that?! Ususally I'm the picture taker, and he'snever home LOL

Comment by Sandi
on I have a new addiction....

April 20th 2007 21:49
Christe... why does everyone say that?! Ususally I'm the picture taker, and he'snever home LOL

Comment by Sandi
on Still can'tget adsense numberto work.

April 20th 2007 20:40
Thank you very much!

Comment by Sandi
on I can only take so much.

April 20th 2007 00:58
Thank Mrs M and DAvid. That's nice of you both to say!!

DAvid...I won't I promise

T... seven months long longmonths

Comment by Sandi
on I have a new addiction....

April 18th 2007 01:43
Womb mates!! Hopefully we have womb with a view!

Comment by Sandi
on I have a new addiction....

April 17th 2007 23:57
Thanks Devi... I know your uterus and boobs make you more intune with me LOL

I am doing well. Bored but well. LOL

Comment by Sandi
on I have a new addiction....

April 17th 2007 23:27
WAs it that I like Scrapblogging or because I said SOOO much fun?!? LOL

I'll have you know Mr. David that scrapbooking is a well respected pasttime here in America. LOL I just really, really suck at it.

Comment by Sandi
on Design on a dollar.

April 17th 2007 23:26
Wendi... I know how you feel. Since we've never owned a house, a lot of times I get the "What's the point" feeling too becuase it's not OUR house. We can't paint and all that, so I do get discouraged.

Devi... I hear ya. I know that if I just felt better about myself and all that, I wouldn't need "things" to make me feel better. But, its just that "things" can be so pretty sometimes you know??

C.... I looked up Ikea and we dont have one around us. Poo. They dont offer a lot online either.

Comment by Sandi
on Bad mommy.

April 16th 2007 01:30
Thank you all for your kind responses.... I had a wonderful little break. I slept in, fooled around, visited without having to pack kids along. It was amazing!!!

When they came back today I realized how much I missed them, and we had a good time.