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Simon Cowell says, "Everyone sucks!"
Only you can decide...
Here's your chance to vote on who you think will be the best choice to be an American Idol judge. Replacing Simon Cowell is impossible - the man was the "Master" of being a Big Meanie. Short of cloning Simon, the executives of American Idol will close their eyes and play "eanie, meanie, minny, moe" and whoever they land on will get the job of American Idol judge.
But I'll go one better and chuck a bunch of names on a list and let you decide. If there is someone you would love to see as an American Idol judge that's not on my list - let me know. I would love to hear your crazy ideas!
Vote For A New American Idol Judge
Here's a bunch of people that may or may not make good American Idol Judges. From the crazy Mel Gibson (will a performer make him mad) or Tom Cruise (will he or won't he jump onto the table in excitement) who would make every week unpredictable and therefore unmissable, the classy Julie Andrews who knows a thing or two about singing, the hilarious Kathy Griffin who doesn't give a shit what people think and says whatever the hell she pleases, the Bieber Fever Option which includes symptoms of being unable to miss American Idol every week, there is something here for everyone.
Mel Gibson
Tom Cruise
Sharon Osbourne
Julie Andrews
Kathy Griffin
Paula Abdul
Mariah Carey
Justin Bieber
Kate Gosselin
Steven Tyler
Jessica Simpson
Who would you choose?
Kicking back - waiting for my Greatest Thing on Earth to take off!
I have the Greatest Thing on Earth! I just know it is going to take the world by storm. The manufacturers finished making them yesterday and by tomorrow morning, I will have sold all 5 million of them. I can't wait to go to bed tonight, get my usual 10 hours sleep, wake up, have a cup of tea, turn on the computer and see that my website will have sold them all. Can anyone say - Ka-Ching!
You may scoff and say, yeah right. That just goes to show how much you know. My Dad says it's the Greatest Thing on Earth... so there! He knows everyone will want one. He's the one that sold all his Apple shares, his Mercedes Benz car and his McDonald's franchise. He would never have done that if he didn't think it was the Greatest Thing on Earth.
Why did I make the Greatest Thing on Earth?
I had a vision when I was 25. The idea just popped into my head as if by magic. And the idea grew and grew... swirling around me like a vortex. This was it, I thought - I was so excited. I would never need to do another thing ever again in my life cause I knew how important my Thing would be to everyone.
I called a psychic yesterday and asked her if my Thing was going to be huge. When she said "yes" 30 minutes later, I felt relieved. That call was worth the $2.00 for every 30 seconds.
What is my magical formula?
It's simple! I created a website to sell my Greatest Thing on Earth. That's all you have to do... build a website and sit back and wait for the people to come. And my Dad paid for an TV ad that will be shown tonight at 11:55pm on a Foxtel Channel - everyone will be going to the website to buy my Greatest Thing on Earth.
I am going to be rich and famous! I got my passport yesterday so I am all set to fly to America on a moments notice. All the talk shows will want me on their show. I cut out a picture of Ellen Degeneres and a phone to put on my vision board to manifest her calling me.
Now, there's nothing else left to do but sit back and wait...
Tony Abbott hooked up to his personal Shit-O-Metre
Tony Abbott, Leader of the Opposition, was full of praise for the newly appointed and first woman Prime Minister of Australia Julia Gillard yesterday.
"I couldn't give a shit really," Mr Tony Abbott smirked, "I will shit on her every chance I get... so I'm glad we have a woman Prime Minister."
Known for his potty mouth and his ability to pick up on Alien signals with his satellite dish ears, Tony Abbott carries his special "Swear Book" filled with "Shit" everywhere he goes. Nothing comes between him and his shit.
Tony Abbott laughs at shit
According to insiders, Tony spends long hours at Parliament House writing shit. "Tony keeps the bar so high for all of us," said an intern, "I'm always trying to impress him with my shit. Often spending weekends on lots of shit for work."
His top political speech writer was sacked earlier this year for not having enough shit in Tony Abbott's speeches. According to sources he writes all his own shit now. "He is so full of shit! I just hope I can be filled with just as much shit as he is one day," said a brown nosed intern. Another source who used to work for Tony Abbott said, "There is only so much shit you can take working for Tony. All he can think about is shit... seriously politics is more than just about shit."
Tony Abbott says "I'm shitfaced!"
According to one close source, Tony Abbott can't wait til he can hang plenty of shit on Julia Gillard. "He's looking for any shit he can get his hands on," said the anonymous insider, "I'm optimistic there is a shit load of crap out there."
Tony Abbott was overheard to have said, "Just because Julia Gillard is great at debating doesn't mean shit... I can talk shit all day. The Australian public has no idea how much shit I can make up! Why won't anyone listen to my shit?"
How the Australian PM, Julia Gillard handles all the shit Mr Tony Abbott plans to throw at her, we'll have to wait and see.
Julia Gillard is the symbol for all young girls' to aspire to. Too many young girls look up to people like Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, The Jersey Girls, Lindsay Lohan, Loony Lady Gaga and many more.
[ Click here to read more ]
Jay Sampson loves emotional blackmail
Emotional Blackmailer, Jay Sampson is taking his unique skills for emotional blackmail to change the world.
"Who would have thought I could get people to do as exactly what I want with the simple tool of Emotional Blackmail!" Jay explains excitedly
[ Click here to read more ]
Local girl, Raquel Blank from Sydney was arrested yesterday for causing "mass hysterics" according to police.
According to sources, the incident started when Raquel told two co-workers she was "ears-dropping in a conversation" when they couldn't believe their ears and started laughing so hard it caught the attention of everyone in the office. In between the gaffaws, Joe Benson who works in a nearby cubicle, tried to tell Raquel the word is "eaves dropping
[ Click here to read more ]
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Comment by Samantha Banfield - Witty Sam
on About Time Sister!! Julia Gillard - First Woman Prime Minister of Australia
Witty Things To Say by Witty Sam
I can see all the suffragetes giving Julia a standing ovation and cheering her on.
It feels like a door of new opportunites has just been opened...
Thanks for leaving a comment!!