SAD
February 4th 2011 22:10
On this gray winter morning as I sat slurping my Wheaties, still in my flannel peejays and channel hopping, I came upon a whole marathon of the "reality" show The Jersey Shore.
Having titled this blog "TelevisionViolated?", I knew eventually I would have to resort to a post about this particular violation of television. However I could not do this objectively, having never watched—deliberately—an episode of said violation. Oh I had seen bits and clips, but a whole episode, never.
"Click". There before my eyes were these strange little cartoonish creatures live and in color. Orange being the particular stand out color, but colorful non the less. Like any well respected cartoon rendering, they were equipped with clichéd costumes, squeaky accents and cutsie nick-names. Snooki being the cutsie-est of them all. After ten minutes in, I felt the urge to take a hot soapy shower. So I did.
Armed with my shield of cleanliness I tried to persevere. For what seemed like the time it would take to crawl from my home state to the Jersey shore, I watched.
I saw drinking followed by passing out, partying, hot tubbing, bed hopping and bar brawling, sprinkled with a lot of bad language, big hair, cleavage and oily muscles. But the thing that bothered me the most amongst all that bad behavior, were the casual calls and visits by the casts parents. If they were my kids—I don't care if they are over twenty and considered adults—I would have dragged them home by the scruff of their necks and grounded them for life. If you act like a punk kid you get treated like a punk kid. And they have the arrogance to act surprised when someone wants to punch them in the face. And then to find out that they were actually on the Babara Walters program "Ten Most Fascinating People", what! At least the whole cast was counted as only one of the ten. Guess if smushed together they could almost make up a complete person.
You have heard of the term SAD; meaning Seasonal Affect Disorder, known as the winter blues. Well I have a case of SAD; meaning Snooki Affect Disorder, known as the what is this world coming to blues, which seems to be spreading like a bad rash. And the people who are carrying the disease are blindly unaware. SAD-ly there is no imminent cure.
For me the only way to suppress this disorder is to watch an episode of either "I Love Lucy" and or "Andy Griffith . . . or click the off button.
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