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Perhaps doctors are overworked.
(Actual writings from hospital charts)
>>
>> 1. The patient refused autopsy.
>>
>> 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
>>
>> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another
>> hospital.
>>
>> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
>> husband states she was very
>> hot in bed last night.
>>
>> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
> side for over a year.
>>
>> 6. On the second day the knee was better and on the
>> third day it disappeared.
>>
>> 7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
>> She also appears to be depressed.
>>
>> 8 The patient has been depressed since she began
>> seeing me in 1993.
>>
>> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
>>
>> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
>> mentally alert but forgetful.
>>
>> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
>> for lunch.
>>
>> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
>>
>> 13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent
>> home.
>>
>> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
>>
>> 15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
>>
>> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
>>
>> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size
>> thyroid.
>>
>> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for
>> most of her life, until she got a divorce.
>>
>> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under
>> our car for physical therapy.
>>
>> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
>> and accommodation.
>>
>> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is
>> circus sized.
>>
>> 22 The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
>>
>> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
>>
>> 24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
>>
>> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
>> abnormalities. 
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IDIOT SIGHTING :
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, it's open!' His reply, 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.' She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I live in a semi - rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded,
'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING :
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
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When you meet royalty such as the Queen, a lady should curtsy to show deference.
To show the utmost of respect, an attempt to kowtow leaves no doubt as to your degree of respect.
In several Asian countries, the Wai is used to show deference to a person or place.
It is sometimes considered the ultimate show of friendship to rub your noses together. Supposedly, this is an Eskimo gesture.
Use the A OK sign to show your approval of something.
Good friends or team mates often use High Five as a congratulatory gesture.
One of the latest gestures to catch on is the fist bump. It seems to carry about the same message as the High Five.
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It's a small place. The entire country covers only around one hundred square miles. It is a tropical paradise, at least it is tropical even if not exactly paradisical.
No shopping malls, no good surfing sites, no horseback riding since the pastures are missing, beaches are not the best in the world. In fact, water at the shore quickly drops off to deep spots.
[ Click here to read more ]
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Yes, it's an animal of some kind, but we never see any of them alive nowadays.
One old song says that the reason we don't see them now is that they were mischievous during the loading of Noah's Ark and did not get on the boat. They all perished.
[ Click here to read more ]
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The United States Securities and Exchange Commission has approved this giveaway of land in any of the fifty states of the United States of America.
Choose the state or states in which you would like to be a landowner. Any of the fifty states, or all of them, are open for the gifts of free land. Just think how your friends would howl with envy when you announce that you own land in every one of the USA states.
[ Click here to read more ]
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Open the hood, Blondie.
We all know that we are not supposed to pick on ethnic groups. It is not nice or respectful. That is why I am not printing Polock jokes here.
[ Click here to read more ]
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One of the last times I was in the market for a car, the salesman asked what color I wanted. It was easier to tell him what color I did not want. "I don't want red," I told him. After we discussed other issues about the car, he said, "You can have any color you want, as long as it is red. That is what we have the most of."
No, I did not buy from him.
[ Click here to read more ]
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Do you know what are the biggest days of the year for receiving collect telephone calls? Here is a list of the top three:
3. Third biggest day for getting collect calls is Valentine's Day. How thoughtful is your darling to remember you on the special "Love Day"! Can you imagine the phone ringing and the operator telling you, "You have a collect call from your girlfriend. Will you accept the charges?"
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Fun Missionary Photo
As I studied material about the death of Bill McChesney in the Belgian Congo in 1964, I was anticipating an interview with Aldine McChesney, Bill’s mother. She had written a book entitled Through Congo Shadows, Story of the Life and Martyrdom of Bill McChesney in the Congo. My job as a writer for a local Phoenix newspaper was to get human interest material for our newspaper’s readers
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Comment by Roger Harris
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I am not aware of the bird you mentioned. What is its name?