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I do enjoy writing. And yet I find writing scripts very difficult. Ive not had any formal training, partly because I dont believe its necessary. The only thing you need to know about scripts is how theyre formatted. And you can buy scriptwriting software that takes care of that for you. Some might say you need to understand structure. But what is structure these days? The traditional three-act piece? Thats a thing of the past these days. Think Pulp Fiction, think Memento. If anything, the ideology these days seems to be about doing what you can NOT to conform. So with those aspects of scriptwriting dealt with, what have we left? The story.
The story is that part of scriptwriting which is at the mercy of the mind. Its about an idea or a concept, a product of the imagination - something that must be created. And given the true nature of creativity, rules are best left behind.
Creativity has always been inclined towards the new. New ideas. New concepts. Said in another way, creativity tends to shun that which has already been proven to work. Part of this evolution towards new ideas has been the abolition of structural rules. But heres where it gets confusing. Rules provide parameters. Parameters define an area in which you can work. In many ways they offer you a starting point a frame with which you can expand on. Without them its like staring into the void. And when its all going pear-shaped, it becomes a question of, well where do I start? So whilst its all very well and good to throw the rulebook out the window, theres something to be said for learning to walk before you can run.
As with all things artistic, scriptwriting is neither right or wrong. Its perhaps more accurate to say some work better than others. Even then, such a statement is a totally subjective one. What one person thinks is good another might think the opposite. I sometimes think the cause of my writers block stems from not knowing what is good and bad. Theres no central reference point against which these things can be measured.
I do understand the personal nature of art. That is to say, you can do more than offer up to the world what you consider to be your work, without any hint of outside pressure or interference on its completed form. And I trust my instinct. But I do like feedback. I do find it valuable to hear other opinions. It just becomes a case of understanding that opinions offered are just that opinions.
To quote Wikipedia:
"Writers Block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration, or creativity."
I suppose like anything of an artistic nature, writing is a skill either your capable or youre not. Back in school there were always students in Art who had obvious talents above others. Likewise in Music. Of course thats not to say you cant be taught something artistic quite clearly you can. But true artistic leanings are an intrinsic part of a persons psyche. Its woven into their fabric in a way that teaching simply cannot emulate.
I enjoy writing. Never as I grew up did I consider it to be a path that I would walk down. I never identified with feelings of "being a writer". Yet despite this I find myself constantly racked with the pain of Writers Block. I have found the only way to beat the block is to spend as much time in front of the computer in one session as is possible. Preferably for as many days in a row as is possible. In fact, the ideal situation would be the one so commonly stereotyped locked away in seclusion in a quiet shack surrounded by nature.
But theres just one problem. Life. Its constantly interfering. I dont know if its just me but theres always something that needs doing. I simply cannot afford to live in the woods for a couple of weeks. Not to mention the fact its hardly a concept worth pitching to your partner unless theyre a writer as well. And beyond the problem of time, theres state of mind. Some people say youre at your creative best when your emotions are heavy. Not me Im afraid. When things weigh heavily on my mind, Im useless as a writer. I cant think straight let alone channel my energies into creative thinking.
What I find ultimately frustrating is the fact that I dont want to be a writer. Its simply a skill Ive chosen to adopt in the greater pursuit of the job I really want. If I did actually consider myself a writer, I suspect these would be issues I could deal with.
I just keep waiting for those six numbers to drop
It wasnt supposed to be like this.
Not that Im complaining. Or am I? Depends on your position, I suppose.
I have always held firm to the belief that we are all responsible for our own destiny. I am where I am today because of my own efforts both concerted and lacking. Richard Bachs book Illusions had a profound effect on me. I dont remember much of it now I read it when I was fifteen but it impacted on me enough for me to read it three times in two days. Its lasting ideology on me? That we are all free to be whatever we want to be. Sounds simple, I know. I am in my late thirties. I know the generation before me would not have heard that ideology espoused too often.
The generations ahead of my own had jobs, not careers. They were not taught, the world is your oyster. Theyd never heard the phrase Carpe Diem. Its a legacy that has been passed onto us. We, and future generations, are the beneficiaries of their travails. Again though, if only it were that simple.
Sit a child down in front of two or three balls, and theyll pick one. Sit them down in front of twenty or thirty, and theyll pause before reaching for one, as if unsure of which is the right one. They might even change their mind after picking one. I sometimes wonder if I would have preferred someone to say to me when finishing school - tradesman, accountant, sales
pick one.
The problem is, when we accept that the choice is ours and ours alone, we have to take full responsibility for our choices. Its a double-edged sword. The successes are there to savour, and how sweet they are. But the negatives are a truly bitter pill to swallow.
All of which leads me where?
I am one who champions the importance of chasing the dream. I believe every person on this planet harbours a dream for himself or herself. It doesnt need to be a socially just dream. It doesnt need to involve world peace. Typically it might involve a career. Or it might be extra-curricular. Learn to paint. Speak a different language. Play the saxophone in a jazz club. Pick one.
The challenge comes the moment we do pick one, because in that moment there is no one else to blame but ourselves if we dont achieve that dream. And for that reason alone, I think people tend to avoid following that inner voice. The fear consumes them.
My dream is career-based. I want to Direct feature films. Not commercials. Not music videos. Feature films. Like a thousand other people out there. And you cant have a film without a script. You cant Direct without a script. I need a script. Someone get me a script. If I wanted to point the finger of blame somewhere to explain my failed aspiration, I could always blame the lack of scripts. Unfortunately for me, I dont buy that excuse. Instead I accepted very early on that Id need to write the scripts myself. So there lies my path. Write the script. Direct the film.
I still believe in my dream, but being in my late-thirties only serves to heighten the pressure I already feel. To be honest, Ive never doubted myself. Until the last six months that is. I love a good saying. I live by them in many ways. Its good to have an end to journey towards, but it is the journey that matters in the end. Thats a favourite of mine. Recently I heard another one: Life is what happens while youre busy making plans.
Until this day, shed done all her driving with me all 45 hours. With her confidence on high, and with the minimum 50 hour-mark fast approaching, wed agreed it was time for driving lessons. Time for professional tips. Time for polishing. It was also time for an honest appraisal of her abilities as a driver. And to be fair, time for an honest appraisal of my abilities as an instructor. In short, there was a great deal hanging on this one hour. Either shed come home with her confidence renewed, or her confidence in tatters. The minute she walked in the door, I knew which one it was.
She happens to be my wife. My 35 year old wife. Like most of us, she got her Ls in her teens. Like some of us, she failed her first driving test. And unlike most of us, she was happy to let her licence lapse. Easy as that
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Comment by Riff Raff
on Warning!! Sensitive issue right now!
Learning To Drive
Writer's Block
what i do want to comment on is the last thing you said in your last comment. yes you deserve to be happy. most importantly though, you have to find that happiness in yourself. whilst it's a wonderful thing to love someone else and be loved, you have to love and value yourself. if you can't do that, how can you possibly expect anyone else to?
you cannot put your happiness in the lap of someone else. if they don't deliver the goods, you'll be filthy on them and yourself. you MUST find happiness in yourself first and foremost.