The wonderful Peter Yang
Research show western fairy tale to be the main cause of abusive relationship amount women
March 13th 2008 03:23
A research conducted two years ago, showed that almost 50% of women have been in either a physical or an emotionally abusive relationship and Western fairy tales and Conservative culture is the direct cause to it.
The research shows that, conservative culture and western fairy tales have been working hand in hand to brain wash women to believe in an unhealthy and unrealistic view of love, relationship and happiness, since a young age. This caused many women to look for a constructed version of happiness that is removed from reality and become vulnerable to predators who use this to their advantage.
The research conducted by psychologist Dr. Xxxx (which I forgot her name and I can not find it on the internet either.) stated that, conservative culture have create an illusion which makes women believes that, a happy and successful woman, is a woman who have a man. It constructed an idea that, no matter how successful you are in your career or as a mother or how happy your life is, the only definition of success or happiness for a woman is whether you have a man. Dr. Xxxx stated that, this resulted in many women to be looking for a man at all cost and if they can not find a decent guy, they will go for a settle for second grade male or even a male that can be abusive or even problematic, just so they can at least have a man in their life.
Fairy tale is also a major cause of abusive relationship amount females. Dr. Xxxx believe that because girls grow up been bombarded by the story of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and other fairy tale princess. This result in girls growing up, tending to believing that the happiness within these story is what true happiness is suppose to be like, what true love is suppose to be like and to an even greater extend what a girl is suppose to be like. The result is that predators used these weaknesses to their advantage by presenting girls with an illusion of such fairy tale happiness and trapping them in an abusive relationship.
The major problem with the fairy tale version of happiness is that it really removed from reality. The subconscious truth about fairy tales is to firstly reinforcing conservative ideologies using of plot and story, where the mean doesn’t justify the end and secondly to fulfill male sexual desire.
In Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty for example, they all reinforce the idea that true happiness for a woman is heterosexual marriage and looking for a prince charming and a woman that do not convert to these ideology should be unhappy. However, none of these fairy tale stories give their readers a justify reason of why it is the case.
For example, in Snow White and Cinderella it simply stated that, they live happily ever after, but did not tell their readers why. I mean if Snow White’s prince is a funny guy who makes her laugh or if Cinderella and her prince are soul mates, then it might justify their happiness to a certain extend. But imagine if Snow White’s prince is a snobby player who can’t stay faithful or if Cinderella’s prince is a repulsive wife beater. Would Snow White be so happy and would Cinderella be happier with her prince, then in comparison with her evil step mother?
However, the fairy tales simply stated these girls to be living happily ever after with their prince, without telling their readers any reason why. Cinderella and Snow White are not the only fairy tales which said the girls live happily ever after, without justifying why. In fact there is a whole category of fairy tale, which also reinforces the idea that happiness for a girl is heterosexual marriage and prince charming, without giving their readers any reasons.
According to Dr. Xxxx, it is because girls have been bombarded by stories like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, since their childhood, that they spend a quantity of their adulthood searching for this unrealistic version of love and relationship and it is why, predators can use this weakness to manipulate a woman into an abusive relationship and keeping her within his restrain.
Dr. Xxxx is not the first person to come up with this form of view about fairy tales. In fact the problematic natural of fairy tale is something that has been noticed by a lot of scholars, within the field of psychology, linguistic and social and culture analysis, including Virginal Wolf (I think, I am not sure about her), James Finn Garner, Sigmund Freud (who is been consider as the father of psychology by many.) and even my own culture study tutor from Uni Dr. Kishani Pilapitiya.
Amount all of these scholars Sigmund Freud went further to argue that fairy tale is really a representation of male sexual desire. He wrote for example that, the princesses within every single fairy tale are young, innocent, naïve, passive and extremely beautiful. To explain what Sigmund Freud is saying here in my own words is that, all of the princesses within these stories are extremely attractive looking girls or young women, they are good at
heart not because they are wise, but because they are innocent (just to clarify here, there are two sort of good people in the world. The first sorts are innocent people. The second sorts are people that are wise.), the princesses are extremely passive and it is extremely easy to get them into bed with you, in other word a seductive object of pure sexual desire.
(This article is dedicated to Effie. I hope you see it, buddy.
)
PS: If anybody know any additional information in regards to this topic or happens to know that I might have made a mistake within the information I have given above, please feel free to make a comment about it.
I am quite certain that my information is accurate, but just in case, feel free to make a comment if you happen to know that I have made a mistake amount the information I have given above.
And pleasssssssse, if any body knows the real name of Dr. Xxxx, can you please write it down for me within the comments pleasssssssse?
Oh yes and if you know any additional information in regards to this topic, please feel free to make a comment about it.
Cheers
The research shows that, conservative culture and western fairy tales have been working hand in hand to brain wash women to believe in an unhealthy and unrealistic view of love, relationship and happiness, since a young age. This caused many women to look for a constructed version of happiness that is removed from reality and become vulnerable to predators who use this to their advantage.
The research conducted by psychologist Dr. Xxxx (which I forgot her name and I can not find it on the internet either.) stated that, conservative culture have create an illusion which makes women believes that, a happy and successful woman, is a woman who have a man. It constructed an idea that, no matter how successful you are in your career or as a mother or how happy your life is, the only definition of success or happiness for a woman is whether you have a man. Dr. Xxxx stated that, this resulted in many women to be looking for a man at all cost and if they can not find a decent guy, they will go for a settle for second grade male or even a male that can be abusive or even problematic, just so they can at least have a man in their life.
The major problem with the fairy tale version of happiness is that it really removed from reality. The subconscious truth about fairy tales is to firstly reinforcing conservative ideologies using of plot and story, where the mean doesn’t justify the end and secondly to fulfill male sexual desire.
For example, in Snow White and Cinderella it simply stated that, they live happily ever after, but did not tell their readers why. I mean if Snow White’s prince is a funny guy who makes her laugh or if Cinderella and her prince are soul mates, then it might justify their happiness to a certain extend. But imagine if Snow White’s prince is a snobby player who can’t stay faithful or if Cinderella’s prince is a repulsive wife beater. Would Snow White be so happy and would Cinderella be happier with her prince, then in comparison with her evil step mother?
However, the fairy tales simply stated these girls to be living happily ever after with their prince, without telling their readers any reason why. Cinderella and Snow White are not the only fairy tales which said the girls live happily ever after, without justifying why. In fact there is a whole category of fairy tale, which also reinforces the idea that happiness for a girl is heterosexual marriage and prince charming, without giving their readers any reasons.
According to Dr. Xxxx, it is because girls have been bombarded by stories like Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella, since their childhood, that they spend a quantity of their adulthood searching for this unrealistic version of love and relationship and it is why, predators can use this weakness to manipulate a woman into an abusive relationship and keeping her within his restrain.
Dr. Xxxx is not the first person to come up with this form of view about fairy tales. In fact the problematic natural of fairy tale is something that has been noticed by a lot of scholars, within the field of psychology, linguistic and social and culture analysis, including Virginal Wolf (I think, I am not sure about her), James Finn Garner, Sigmund Freud (who is been consider as the father of psychology by many.) and even my own culture study tutor from Uni Dr. Kishani Pilapitiya.
Amount all of these scholars Sigmund Freud went further to argue that fairy tale is really a representation of male sexual desire. He wrote for example that, the princesses within every single fairy tale are young, innocent, naïve, passive and extremely beautiful. To explain what Sigmund Freud is saying here in my own words is that, all of the princesses within these stories are extremely attractive looking girls or young women, they are good at
(This article is dedicated to Effie. I hope you see it, buddy.
)PS: If anybody know any additional information in regards to this topic or happens to know that I might have made a mistake within the information I have given above, please feel free to make a comment about it.
I am quite certain that my information is accurate, but just in case, feel free to make a comment if you happen to know that I have made a mistake amount the information I have given above.
And pleasssssssse, if any body knows the real name of Dr. Xxxx, can you please write it down for me within the comments pleasssssssse?
Oh yes and if you know any additional information in regards to this topic, please feel free to make a comment about it.
Cheers
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by katyzzz
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There is a bias in that research, it tends to blame the victim or social mores, and therefore lets the abusive men off. You know, it's her fault because she expects so much.
Abusive men are responsible for their own acts of abuse, we need more solid laws and awareness programs ( compulsory if necessary) to reverse any of this.
Unfortunately we live in a sick world.
Good post but I think the research is a bit "iffy"
Comment by Lilla
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I loved this article and have emailed it to all my daughter's friends... at least it may cause them to think about it ... and that is half the battle over, right there, isn't it?
Well Done, projected illusion is not a reality.
Lilla ...
Ps Sorry I can;t help with Dr Xxxx's name, but I think Dr X sounds better anyway ((laughs)) for most of them ...
Comment by Harry
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Comment by Nathan 1
yes this is a great post. One of the most frustrating things I find is when adults, who possibly have kids of their own, still think there are certain parameters a person has to work within to be either a 'man' or a 'woman'. If they are happy then that's great but I get the feeling that there are many people who get married out of fear. Fear of lonliness and alienation.
Nathan
Comment by JohnDoe
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Great post.
This is a theory I have been spouting for sometime and didn't realise its validity. I often site When Harry met Sally as a great example of negative programming.
I do echo Katyzz' point, the abusive men that prey on the weak minded need discipline.....reducing their food supply by woman developing independence is a good start
Comment by KylieW
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But great post. I'd hope that in the future that this wouldn't be so prevalent. In the last 20 years we've come a long way. Girls aren't just expected to be married as soon as they leave high school and depend on their husband for their happiness.
Comment by swanston1
Justice for all?
Breaking the cycle.
mmappmusic
Yes i do agree, so many people are searching for something fake. So many are good and rejecting the good but holding the bad..
Dang!! ive been single for years, by choice...I dont want a Ken barbie doll but I dont want someone with flying fists either...I think the important thing is to be yourself and not get roped into the standard pattern of thinking and social expectations..but yes, I can see the common link between fairy tales and reality.
Rock on
Sarah
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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I personally met a girl that have been in this form of abusive relationship before, (it took her 3 years to finally dump that looser.) so I know how much damage can realationship of this sort can do to a girl. i hate to see any other girls having to go through that exact same thing. This is especially the case with single mums, who have children at stake.
i don't really think this research is putting the blam on women and letting abusive men get away with it. It is definilty blaming society no doubt.
instead i think the report of this research is to inform women so they will not fall under the influence of an abusive relationship.
I agree with what a lot of you are saying, the best way to deal with this situation is to give women the necessary knowledge so they can protect themselves from this form of abusive relationship.
In other word, the best way to deal with this situation, is to arm the girls with the knowledge, which they can be protect from these abusive men in the first place.
The more girls we can arm against these abusive relationship, the harder it will be for that small majority of abusive men, to abusive another one of our fellow Australians.
Once again, thanks for all of your comments guy.
You guys rock
Cheers
Comment by Michaelie
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Michaelie
Comment by Eva W.
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When Gaston (the most handsome man in the village) tries to woo her, she firmly rejects him, not wanting to be his "little wife". Instead, she keeps reading her books and dreams of adventures in the great wide world. The story makes it obvious that Belle is an intellectual and Gaston is an evil moron.
Sure, she falls in love with the Beast in the end, but only because he impresses her with his good heart. So we KNOW she'll be treated well in the happily-ever-after.
It's comforting to know that there's one fairytale that dares to be different. And it's a beautiful one at that.
Comment by samaritan
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I guess, as a kid, I enjoyed fairytales because I wanted a form of escapism. But I started to believe that that escapism could become reality if only I met the right guy.
For me, though, I have never considered that they might help create a culture where women are happy to put up with abusive relationships. It's more about the fact that normal relationships (and I include friendship here) fail to meet my expectations. I have too high expectations because I look for that fairytale romance that really only happens in fairytales.
Comment by Morgan Bell
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ps: i would really love to read the original reports, research or statistics if you manage to uncover them, this is a really interesting topic
Comment by Maryam DiMauro
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Which is all about women feeling the need to feel complete only when they have a man and the sacrifices they make to themselves in the process.
There is also another one which I forget woman half wolf or something...will look for it. My mom did her thesis on it, and it is a good one. Anyways, it talks about the unconscious symbolism of fairy tales and our fear of female sexuality.
Good post.
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Morgan Bell, if you want a bit more understanding about this topic you can look for the work of psycologist Sigmund Freud in the libary. He is the first person to talk about this sort of issues between...1920 something...
Some other article you can look up will be the work of James Finn Garner or Gring-Premble, L& Waston, MS. As for Dr. X's book, you should be able to find it in most retail outlet. Other famous psychologist including TV shrink Dr. Phil have also wrote books about it.
I am also going to post another research related to this topic soon, this one I conducted my self as a part of my university assessment. I am going to do it within a few weeks. And because this is a formal research, I know the information this time will be accurate.
Cheers
Comment by Damo
He is behind all the evil plots in the world.
Not that I doubt your story.
Nor do I doubt that Dr. Xxxx exists.
However the sweeping generalization that fairy tales cause abuse sound very much like video games cause kids to murder..
The reference to who Dr. Xxxx is is crucial to the story as it would not only verify what you say but also give people the chance to examine what was said, the context and the validity of the evidence. Also what is Dr. Xxxx a doctor of. The could could be a doctor of marketing as far as we know.
Comment by Anonymous
Thank You
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it is a big pain in the butt for me that I forgot Dr X's name. That is also why I was very careful in terms of what I wrote in this article.
it is also why I only touch onto area which I am certain of, combine from what I have learn in uni in regards to this topic. Dr X is actually a woman, I can be certain of that and she is a psychologist.
Dr X actually talked about a lot more then fairy tales, but I only choose to talk about fairy tales, because it just happens that I have studied the problematic natural of fairy tales as well. (I am studying a jorunalism degree and we have learn about stuff like this.)
It is only with the combination of what I learn about Dr X's topic and what I have learned in uni, that i dare to write this article. As for the other stuff Dr X talked about. I completely choose to not even mention it, because honustly, i don't have any academic knowledge in those area and I am not a girl either.
I first heard about Dr X and her work, on television. Appearently she just published her book in terms of this topic and was both advertising and council girls in abusive relationship on TV. Apparently her topic in terms of fairy tale is something I totally agree with, not only because I know a girl that was going through the exact same thing, but even more, her research have work in total coalition with every thing I have already learn within the problemnatic natural of fairy tales. her work just happened to help me to connect all of the nods.
If any body can help me find the exact original work of Dr X it is great. As for all the other suppoting text that I have refer to. I am more then happy to provide some reference. I only need to check my uni text books to find the exact author, publish date etc. I huge propotion of Dr.X work is most likely to be base on the work of those exact same people as well.
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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I first learned about Freud's work when I was in second year uni. In a course which is analysising all of the existing writings and theories in regards to this topic.
Most university library have books in regards of his work and future scholars analysing his work.
It is basically just as boring as anything we can possibily learn in uni, but if you don't mind about it. you can look up any university library and you should be able to find something on it.
Cheers
Comment by Louie
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cool post
Comment by Miswanderlust
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Very interesting information indeed. I wrote a paper on this in university. There is quite a bit to this research actually. I will see if I can find it. I was working at a battered women's shelter at the time for victims fleeing from abusive relationships and was continually amazed by the lengths women will go to find their "prince charming"
Mis
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By the way, do anybody know how to move a post from one blong to another.
It is just because this post seem to be so popular, I am thinking about moving it to a blog of it's own.
Cheers
Comment by Anonymous
Ok, if I ever have a daughter I'll make sure the only bed time story I am ever going to tell her, is the Cuba Missle Crisis.
Comment by Wynona Lavota
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It's regretable that you can't remember the name of the person that conducted this research because I'd really like to read more about it.
Oh and just on the comment of princesses being passive, Ariel, The Little Mermaid, rebels and becomes human- something that is, frowned upon my all Mer People. Yes, true she does get married and live 'happily ever after', but she isn't totally submissive.
Comment by textgamer
So again either artificial roles are imposed that simulate the heterosexual ideal (butch/femme) In other cases women are taught to see all other women as competition standing between them and true happiness (evil stepmother, step sisters assorted others).
It is also interesting that the goddess/mother/wise female advisor is completely absent from these tales. (ie the real mother is almost always dead and replaced by the "evil" rival).
Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Fiary tales are mere fiction, not real. Just like super mand and power rangers are mere fictions, not real
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I always preferred biographies over fairy tales. And, my husband has never laid a hand on me.
Coincidence? Maybe not!
My daughter likes true stories, but for a long time all she would read was Sonic the Hedgehog comic books and manga. I wonder what that set her up for?
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I think reading comic book won't have the same sort of negative effect as fairy tale, because people clearly know that there no chance is hell can we become superman or spiderman, unlike fairytale, which contain charactristic that can frequently been mistaken to be reality. A new studies have also found that soap opera is responsible for 50% of divorce in Brizil, although I don't have all the detail in regards to that topic.
Comment by James Rickard
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Check this out...
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Cheers