Remember kids, guns are not sex toys: bizarre sex injuries
April 16th 2010 01:33
Police in the US have arrested a man over the shooting death of his girlfriend, after the couple apparently used a gun as a sex aid.
Details of exactly what they were up to haven't been released. What we do know is that the 25 year-old man called 911 to say he'd just shot his girlfriend while they were having sex.
While sex fatalities are relatively rare, the Crazy World archives are filled with stories of people suffering nasty and embarrassing injuries while pushing their love making to the absolute limits.
Last week a woman in Moscow underwent surgery for serious damage to the membranes at the back of her throat, after her husband became a little too enthusiastic while she was performing oral sex on him.
Doctors say her injuries were quite severe, and definitely not something to gag about.
Ok, I made that last bit up. Pun filter now activated.
And this time last year a 27 year-old woman - for some reason she didn't want her name published - was injured by her husband's home-made sex toy. The couple had attached a strap-on dildo to - wait for it - an electric saber saw - then fired it up to see how effective it might be.
The saw sliced straight through the rubber phallus, leaving the woman with a very nasty... err... gash...
I personally know a well-known former Australian football star who confided that the "hamstring injury" that kept him out of a crucial finals match was in fact caused by a bed-time accident.
The man and his the girlfriend were in the middle of a frantic session in an antique cast-iron bed, with the woman stretched out over the side in a bizarre pose that only a pro athlete could achieve.
That's when the bed frame snapped.
The jagged edge ripped into the underside of the footballer's penis, tearing it open from the base to the tip.
I almost wept when he described the horror of being driven to hospital while using his hand to stop the insides of his manhood from slipping out completely.
Speak to any nurse and you'll hear extraordinary tales of odd items that have "accidentally" found their way into various bodily orifices.
I've read reports of doctors discovering aerosol cans, a neon lamp and even a leg of lamb deep inside people's rectums. And yes, it's nearly always men.
Although, not always.
Some years ago I remember reporting on a case in which a woman presented at her local hospital with a carrot firmly stuck deep inside her anus. The woman told doctors she'd been hanging out the washing when she tripped and landed on the carrot, which was protruding from the ground in a nearby vegetable patch.
I asked the doctor if he bought the woman's story. He paused and then replied:
"Well, when we retrieved the carrot... it was peeled..."
Details of exactly what they were up to haven't been released. What we do know is that the 25 year-old man called 911 to say he'd just shot his girlfriend while they were having sex.
While sex fatalities are relatively rare, the Crazy World archives are filled with stories of people suffering nasty and embarrassing injuries while pushing their love making to the absolute limits.
Last week a woman in Moscow underwent surgery for serious damage to the membranes at the back of her throat, after her husband became a little too enthusiastic while she was performing oral sex on him.
Doctors say her injuries were quite severe, and definitely not something to gag about.
Ok, I made that last bit up. Pun filter now activated.
And this time last year a 27 year-old woman - for some reason she didn't want her name published - was injured by her husband's home-made sex toy. The couple had attached a strap-on dildo to - wait for it - an electric saber saw - then fired it up to see how effective it might be.
The saw sliced straight through the rubber phallus, leaving the woman with a very nasty... err... gash...
I personally know a well-known former Australian football star who confided that the "hamstring injury" that kept him out of a crucial finals match was in fact caused by a bed-time accident.
The man and his the girlfriend were in the middle of a frantic session in an antique cast-iron bed, with the woman stretched out over the side in a bizarre pose that only a pro athlete could achieve.
That's when the bed frame snapped.
The jagged edge ripped into the underside of the footballer's penis, tearing it open from the base to the tip.
I almost wept when he described the horror of being driven to hospital while using his hand to stop the insides of his manhood from slipping out completely.
Speak to any nurse and you'll hear extraordinary tales of odd items that have "accidentally" found their way into various bodily orifices.
I've read reports of doctors discovering aerosol cans, a neon lamp and even a leg of lamb deep inside people's rectums. And yes, it's nearly always men.
Although, not always.
Some years ago I remember reporting on a case in which a woman presented at her local hospital with a carrot firmly stuck deep inside her anus. The woman told doctors she'd been hanging out the washing when she tripped and landed on the carrot, which was protruding from the ground in a nearby vegetable patch.
I asked the doctor if he bought the woman's story. He paused and then replied:
"Well, when we retrieved the carrot... it was peeled..."
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