Hell In Paradise - take one on romance
June 2nd 2008 08:44
Looking through the glass, the windowpane misty from the cold air, the landscape looked as dark and uninviting as my father’s wine cellar. What was I doing here? How come I put myself up to this? I already know the answer as I feel the tears pouring down my face. My past has caught me - I have stopped running, as the past is like a wolf that stealthily stalks its prey until the moment it attacks. At least the wolf is honest about its intentions - which is more than people do at times.
This great house holds nothing but bad memories of when my family was together. It seems as another world where we would all play and be happy, running carefree, barefoot and dirty as children do. Mum would yell at us to keep the noise down and berate us for having gotten our clothes dirty and she had this habit of smiling as she said it. Mum’s eyes were like the sea shining on the Aquamarine Sea, happy and carefree. That is until “she” came along and helped ruin my family.
Dad had gotten this new contract for construction work, that took him away from home quite a lot. It was during this time that he met "her", falling away from our family and mum. Each time dad came home he would be a bit more reserved, have less time to spend with us children, he started spending weekends away more often. Sometimes coming home once or twice a month.
One day he came home and simply packed his bags and left for good - leaving mum with a confused and angry bunch of children. Mum said dad and her didn’t love each other anymore, that daddy still loved us and lived with another lady now. We were so confused - at first we blamed ourselves for what had happened to our daddy, we even blamed mum, we blamed dad, we even blamed "her".
My eyes are red and very sore from crying. I had just finished speaking to mum , telling her what I thought of the past with Dad. Mum sat listening, not judging, even when I lashed out at her for not being able to keep our family together. She just looked at me and listened. When I had finished, she came around my side of the table and said,
“Julie, you know that Dad and I both love you. Yes it hurts still to remember what happened. People do grow apart and that’s what happened to us. He met "her" and yes it was an affair at first, then somehow they grew to love each other. I was so angry and felt like I had been betrayed, although I could see it coming. Often we see a situation starting to happen and we pretend that it will go away. Like a horse wearing blinkers and driven in one direction, we don’t see what is around us. Julie, look realistically at your own marriage - did you see any changes happening before your partner left?”
Mum was right as usual - I had to stop blaming him/them for going, needed to stop reliving the past and move on with my life. Looking out the windowpane the sky had started to clear, much like my heart was repairing itself getting ready to face another day. I cannot change the past only live in today.
Courtesy of Susan T
(Winterznite)
© 2008
This great house holds nothing but bad memories of when my family was together. It seems as another world where we would all play and be happy, running carefree, barefoot and dirty as children do. Mum would yell at us to keep the noise down and berate us for having gotten our clothes dirty and she had this habit of smiling as she said it. Mum’s eyes were like the sea shining on the Aquamarine Sea, happy and carefree. That is until “she” came along and helped ruin my family.
Dad had gotten this new contract for construction work, that took him away from home quite a lot. It was during this time that he met "her", falling away from our family and mum. Each time dad came home he would be a bit more reserved, have less time to spend with us children, he started spending weekends away more often. Sometimes coming home once or twice a month.
One day he came home and simply packed his bags and left for good - leaving mum with a confused and angry bunch of children. Mum said dad and her didn’t love each other anymore, that daddy still loved us and lived with another lady now. We were so confused - at first we blamed ourselves for what had happened to our daddy, we even blamed mum, we blamed dad, we even blamed "her".
My eyes are red and very sore from crying. I had just finished speaking to mum , telling her what I thought of the past with Dad. Mum sat listening, not judging, even when I lashed out at her for not being able to keep our family together. She just looked at me and listened. When I had finished, she came around my side of the table and said,
“Julie, you know that Dad and I both love you. Yes it hurts still to remember what happened. People do grow apart and that’s what happened to us. He met "her" and yes it was an affair at first, then somehow they grew to love each other. I was so angry and felt like I had been betrayed, although I could see it coming. Often we see a situation starting to happen and we pretend that it will go away. Like a horse wearing blinkers and driven in one direction, we don’t see what is around us. Julie, look realistically at your own marriage - did you see any changes happening before your partner left?”
Mum was right as usual - I had to stop blaming him/them for going, needed to stop reliving the past and move on with my life. Looking out the windowpane the sky had started to clear, much like my heart was repairing itself getting ready to face another day. I cannot change the past only live in today.
Courtesy of Susan T
(Winterznite)
© 2008
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