ProgressiveKB

It started out as a convience, I needed something to tell me the time, while keeping my hands free to walk my dog. I dug around in my junk drawer and found it, at the bottom, ticking away just as the Deists say it would.
Now its a habit. I've taken to wearing his watch. Call it sentimental, call it nostalgic, think of me as one of those 50's girls with their boyfriend's letterman jacket. But in this case he is my former, my previous, my decision to cut the ties...
Its a large silver rectangular faced watch, massive, masculine. It slips up and down my skinny arm, knock knocking on my wrist bone reminding me of the ever thump thumping I feel in my heart.
He didn't really wear this watch while we were dating. Just once to impress me but then left it at my house on the wayside, one of the numerous details decorating my house, my street, my life ever present to remind me.
These momento's had been so painful, but now I seek them out. When did this switch happen? Why do I feel the need to keep him so close with all the heartache surrounding us. Our relationship has become this ugly monster of what it used to be, arms flayling, teeth beared and stinky breath. All the demons we kept inside have come tumbling out and manifested in this monster, this spawn.
So instead of carrying around the monster, I am carrying this watch, his watch. To remember and to hold on to, to get a reality check and to feel safe with, this silver watch which knock knocks on my wrist, as a constant presence and daily reminder of moving forward, of time passing~ of change for the good or for the bad.