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Primitive Poly Pontifications - by Chris Chadwick

U.S. Supreme Court Castrates

June 24th 2010 23:43

: U.S. Supreme Court

U.S. Supreme Court

The U.S. Supreme Court has ruled in favor of Jeffrey Skilling (yes, THE Jeffrey Skilling of Enron infamy) and Conrad Black.

Skilling going to the Pokey

Conrad Black

Both currently in prison for fraud. This decision may also help embattled former Illinois Governor Rod "Helmet Hair" Blogojevich, whose trial is going on right now.

Blago

Justice Ginsberg wrote the majority opinion and stated that the law must be limited to bribes or kickbacks. Justices Thomas, Scalia and Kennedy wanted to strike down the law altogether.

So much for the right to honest services, folks.

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Mark Twain's Autobiography-A Century of Waiting.

May 27th 2010 13:44

: Mark Twain's Autobiography

Twain-Hamming it up!

It was Mark Twain's wish that his autobiography not be published for 100 years following his death. Well, folks, time is up! Mr. Twain died April 21, 1910. The University of California, Berkley has the manuscript locked in a vault and will release the document in three volumes with the first due out in November. I can't wait to roll my eyes over this baby! I have always been a huge Twain fan-both his fiction and dry, stinging wit have brought a smile to my face numerous times over the years.

Be warned, if you have thin skin about religion or don't want to tarnish your view of Twain as a stately Victorian figure stuffed to the collar with manners and gentlemanly behavior, this may not be a fun read for you. Apparently, he uncorks on both politics and religion in his memoirs. I predict he will make Bill Maher and Dennis Miller look like rank amateurs...hopefully.

The elder statesman

"There is a perception that Twain spent his final years basking in the adoration of fans. The autobiography will perhaps show that it wasn't such a happy time. He spent six months of the last year of his life writing a manuscript full of vitriol, saying things that he'd never said about anyone in print before. It really is 400 pages of bile." historian Laura Trombley is quoted as saying. (According to Hindustan Times)

Where it got ugly?

Regardless of what these pages hold he will still be one of literature's greatest treasures. In any event, I doubt Tina Fey will be returning that award she received the other day.

Chris

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This just in: 14th Amendment Cancelled...

April 30th 2010 11:32

: This just in: 14th Amendment Cancelled...

The 14th Amendment is in danger of being cancelled due to lack of funds for social services. Rep. Duncan Hunter (R) of San Diego has stated clearly he supports the deportation of American born children if their parents are here illegally.

This may sound like a great idea to isolationists, certain border states or folks who believe immigrants are stealing American jobs. Some of their positions have merit, however, fundamentally stomping on the constitution hardly seems like the answer. Many of the people who support this action would go into convulsions if you were to apply this convenient, soft logic, and heavy hand to their Second Amendment rights.

Duncan's further mumbling's go on to state that it's what in your soul that makes you an American. Soul? Ah, sure. that arbitrary thing that may or may not exist and may not be measured by anyone other than ourselves (or your God, if you are so inclined to believe). That sounds a lot like "Let's throw her in the lake! If she does not drown she's a witch! If she does drown...oops."

Duncan is wrong. The Constitution clearly lays out the criteria for citizenship. I may not agree with people hopping the border to birth an Anchor or Jackpot baby and then try to ride the coat tails of that LEGAL UNITED STATES CITIZEN, but border control seems like a better answer than getting in the habit of striping citizens of their rights based on fiscal motivators.

Of course, Rep. Hunter's spin doctor quickly tried to "clarify" his boss' position. "That's not really what he meant to say...his actual position is much more compassionate and in line with American values and Constitutional Rights" I'm paraphrasing here, but you get the gist of the back pedaling.

We all know the 14th Amendment was ratified in 1868 to protect recently freed slaves and grant them full rights of U.S Citizenship.

In part the 14th reads:

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and the State wherein they reside."

Sounds simple enough, right? Maybe not.

To be fair, there is precedence for Hunter's stated opinion on the matter and some of the following make some interesting reading on the subject.

In 1866, Senator Jacob Howard clearly spelled out the intent of the 14th Amendment by writing:

"Every person born within the limits of the United States, and subject to their jurisdiction, is by virtue of natural law and national law a citizen of the United States. This will not, of course, include persons born in the United States who are foreigners, aliens, who belong to the families of ambassadors or foreign ministers accredited to the Government of the United States, but will include every other class of persons. It settles the great question of citizenship and removes all doubt as to what persons are or are not citizens of the United States. This has long been a great desideratum in the jurisprudence and legislation of this country."

Senator Howard's opinion may indeed reflect the true intent of the 14th Amendment. Perhaps he should have gone beyond penning an opinion and enacted legislation reflecting this interpretation. That's sort of what our lawmakers are intended to do.

The Supreme Court further made a ruling similar to Howard's opinion, over a century ago, in what is known as the so-called "Slaughter-House cases" [83 US 36 (1873)] and in [112 US 94 (1884)]. In Elk v.Wilkins, the phrase 'subject to its jurisdiction' excluded from its operation 'children of ministers, consuls, and citizens of foreign states born within the United States.' In Elk, the American Indian claimant was considered not an American citizen because the law required him to be 'not merely subject in some respect or degree to the jurisdiction of the United States, but completely subject to their political jurisdiction and owing them direct and immediate allegiance.'

Congress subsequently passed a special act to grant full citizenship to American Indians, who were not citizens even through they were born within the borders of the United States. The Citizens Act of 1924, provides that:

The following shall be nationals and citizens of the United States at birth:
(a) a person born in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof;
(b) a person born in the United States to a member of an Indian, Eskimo, Aleutian, or other aboriginal tribe.

It's a complex matter, to be sure. It quickly gets clouded with words like "intent" "allegiance", "Soul"(?), etc. The bottom line is this: If you are born on American Soil, you are an American Citizen and guaranteed all the rights and protections thereof. If we don't think this best serves our countries interest any longer perhaps a Constitutional Amendment is in order. Write your Congresspersons if you are so inclined.

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Tea Party? Coffee Party?

April 29th 2010 02:02

: Primitive Poly-Pontifications

Really? How many soft drink themed political action groups do we need holding rallies and making signs? The nation could face a serious poster board shortage if this trend continues.

I think I'll make a sign protesting all the protesters. I'll be the founding member of The Milk Party. Because milk is awesome. Don't argue, you know it's true. Here's proof:

[ Click here to read more ]

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Westboro Baptist Church (WBC)

April 25th 2010 15:17

After putting away the strong negative emotional responses this "Church" has inspired in me with their hate mongering aimed at America in general, and certain victims in particular, I am still unable to see any logic to their messages. While I advocate their right to free speech, I wish they had the sense not to exercise it so often or with the amount of hatred they so often employ. Here's a sampling of their idiocy: WBC Hate Machine

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Welcome

April 25th 2010 14:13

Welcome to the P³ Blog. Please don't hesitate to offer your opinions, whether in agreement or fierce opposition. All relevant and thoughtful comments are welcome!

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