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Hillbilly Lovin' or Backdoor Banditry?

September 28th 2007 07:36
Greetings to the webway's quixotic biatches!

Obviously drawn by the sado-masochistic title of my previous post, an individual utilising the pseudonym "Sir-Spanks-a-Lot" has obviously pulled his head out of his KFC bucket (or is trough more appropriate?), put on some pants for the first time this week (no doubt to avoid healthy-sized skid-marks on his computer chair) and decided to give me my first prompt:

"Oi you do you reckon its worse to sleep with your sister or a dude?"

(...he said in no doubt dulcet tones... with a sliver of the Colonel's finest chicken skin hanging out the side of his mouth...)


It's an interesting conundrum to work out. Given the author's propensity for fried Southern chicken... and the fact that he sounds like a genetic step away from a dog turd... he's probably going to fall arse-over-tits on the Hillbilly Lovin' side of the fence. But let not this modern day Cicero convert you with his sweet words. Let's have a think about it.

Doing the Sister Act

Let's be honest. If you're the kind of guy whose idea of "getting some this weekend" is buying a bottle of K-Y Jelly on Friday night and naming their left hand "Veronica", you probably don't really have a discerning palate when it comes to women.

But if the girl you're forced to choose just happens to be your sister, maybe you won't run into any problems. You could be Jim Corr and be potentially tapping this:




But then again, if you're in a Southern U.S.A locale, you could be facing this:

Picture not tampered with!


Naturally your reaction to a photo like that might be something like this:



At the end of the day, I'd rather not be taking my chances on creating my own strand of Urban Mutants (- if you're a fan of horror films, that actually may sound alluring). You may even get lucky - and the child mightn't have fins or an American accent. But the odds are that offspring from a shallow gene pool are likely to be as irritatingly stupid as Alexander Downer's effeminate lisp. My reaction to such an individual...

Something like this cop:

Click for Inbred Behaviour

I think at the end of the day, you're safer to stick with other men. Hey they might even like football! If you're really lucky, you'll be the one on all fours looking away when the deed takes place.

Post your comments, whines and suggestions for tomorrow's main course for intellectual dissection here.

So says MacDaddy - Mogul of Sexy
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Take a Spanking and come back for more!

September 27th 2007 14:03
If you've had the pleasure (...no, not the pleasure of my horizontal tango) of reading my first ever post, you'll be musing to yourself...

Hold the phone! Just what is this low-brow jerk-off actually going to talk about?

To be perfectly honest: I'm undecided. If Seinfeld can be a show about nothing, I can be a blogger without topic.

And this is where you, the reader, step into the breach.

I'm a rather random and eclectic individual. In fact, I love the word random. It combines the perfect tense of "run" with the colloquialism "...a plastic sheath used as contraception in the act of intercourse." Sex and Grammar. Oh what sweet ingredients in the perfect first date conversation.

As a terrible side-effect of my condition, I proffer totally unsubstantiated opinions on every topic under the proverbial Sun. You name it - I'll shit on about it. The answer is at best quirky - at worst derogatory.

If you want a little ray of Sunshine into your otherwise dreary existence - that little glimmer of glee you get when a drooling 'tard engages in a subject totally foreign to them. The end product being something that flatters your intelligence, and totally tears another hole for MacDaddy's reputation.

Be it wrestling, Karma Sutra, midgets, John Howard's eyebrows, porn or whatever...

The power is in your hands.

(Like a choose your own adventure...if such an adventure contained tits, copious pints of guiness, and bags of sandpaper falling on elderly gentlemen's plums)

Contact The MacDaddy. Caress The MacDaddy. Love The MacDaddy.

This shall be your mantra.
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Narcissism and My Internet Shrine

September 27th 2007 12:14
Greetings phrase-turners, yarn-spinners, bullshit-artists and language-artificiers of the Internet!

Welcome also to the gullible, the vacant, the naive and the born yesterday!


You are in luck.

No, not lucky like the man who GETS RICH QUICK by donating $50,000 to Nigerian businessmen through his Junk Mail Box.

No, not lucky like the man who believes that leprachauns exist and deliberately sleeps with a midget who promises him a Pot of Gold the morning after.

No, not even lucky like the one-armed man hanging off a cliff with an itchy ball-sack...

No, you're in luck because in this niche of the webway you are witnessing the genesis of a behemoth. No, not an oversized woman.

But a blog of such controversy that it makes Paris Hilton's home-movie director blush
...and Ozzy Osbourne look like he should be sitting on his tuffet eating curds and whey.

Cometh the Hour, Cometh The Man.

Prepare for MacDaddy. Ad nauseam.

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