People with pets suck! Sometimes
March 21st 2010 17:11
.Funny or sad?
People with pets are such bungholes! Not all of them of course but most. The other day as I was walking my kids to school an asshole with a huge horse looking Great Dane stopped in front of us and let the monster take a crap on the sidewalk. If you’ve never seen a dog this big take a crap you should take some time off from work and see the show. It reminded me of the soft-serve ice cream machine at any local restaurants except built for giants. Anyway, this damn monster takes a crap right on the sidewalk and this bunghole owner doesn’t bother to clean it up. I don’t see how he could have anyway. He would have needed to be carrying a trash bin for that steaming pile of dino-chow. Once finished the dog and owner continue walking along as if nothing has happened. I would have chased after him but it would have taken days to get around this mountain of Science Diet aftermath. The following day the mess was gone. I assume the poor smuck who lived there hired a dump truck and had it hauled away.
This story brings me to the next dumb s**t with a pet. Some woman who happens to have nothing better to do all day but walk her dog was passing in front of my home this weekend. And when I say she has nothing better to do I really mean it. Every day she walks her dog past my home no less than 4 times and as much 8 times each day. Anyway, she was walking her dog and I happened to have left my gate open this day. My fence is a small thing about two feet high with a little latch gate. So, I was playing with my boys in the living room when my oldest son stops me and says, “Dad! Look!” I turn around and looked out the window and would you believe this dumb bitch let her dog walk into my yard! The dog was on one of those extendable leashes which allow it to walk up to 20 feet away but still be on a leash. So the damn dog is walking around in my yard sniffing here and there looking for something to piss or shit on. I jumped up and ran outside yelling, “WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?!”
She had the balls to reply, “Just walking my dog.”
I stood there with my mouth open, “ARE YOU F**KING INSANE? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN LET YOUR DOG WALK INTO MY F**KING YARD?!
She looked surprised! “He’s just walking around.” And all this time the f**king dog is walking around sniffing.
“GET YOUR F**KING DOG OUT OF MY YARD YOU DUMB B**CH!”
She starts to reel the dog in and apologizes. Once the dog is out of my yard she continues her walk. “LET YOUR F**KING DOG BACK IN MY YARD AGAIN! I DARE YOU!” I yelled as she retreated. I was fuming so much that I was literally shaking. I developed a migraine the size of that Great Dane’s shit.
So what was that stupid dog sniffing? The cat shit that my neighbors cat keeps burying in my front yard! Yep. The neighbor’s cat continually comes over to my yard and shits. I couldn’t take it anymore so I looked up remedies to keep pets out and I read they didn’t like the smell of vinegar. So I went to the local store and purchased some distilled white vinegar and poured it around the outer edge of my yard. I haven’t caught the cat in the act yet so I don’t know if it’s working but my yard smells like a god-damned salad bar and the vegetarian neighbors from across the street keep coming over to visit.
People with pets are such bungholes! Not all of them of course but most. The other day as I was walking my kids to school an asshole with a huge horse looking Great Dane stopped in front of us and let the monster take a crap on the sidewalk. If you’ve never seen a dog this big take a crap you should take some time off from work and see the show. It reminded me of the soft-serve ice cream machine at any local restaurants except built for giants. Anyway, this damn monster takes a crap right on the sidewalk and this bunghole owner doesn’t bother to clean it up. I don’t see how he could have anyway. He would have needed to be carrying a trash bin for that steaming pile of dino-chow. Once finished the dog and owner continue walking along as if nothing has happened. I would have chased after him but it would have taken days to get around this mountain of Science Diet aftermath. The following day the mess was gone. I assume the poor smuck who lived there hired a dump truck and had it hauled away.
This story brings me to the next dumb s**t with a pet. Some woman who happens to have nothing better to do all day but walk her dog was passing in front of my home this weekend. And when I say she has nothing better to do I really mean it. Every day she walks her dog past my home no less than 4 times and as much 8 times each day. Anyway, she was walking her dog and I happened to have left my gate open this day. My fence is a small thing about two feet high with a little latch gate. So, I was playing with my boys in the living room when my oldest son stops me and says, “Dad! Look!” I turn around and looked out the window and would you believe this dumb bitch let her dog walk into my yard! The dog was on one of those extendable leashes which allow it to walk up to 20 feet away but still be on a leash. So the damn dog is walking around in my yard sniffing here and there looking for something to piss or shit on. I jumped up and ran outside yelling, “WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING?!”
She had the balls to reply, “Just walking my dog.”
I stood there with my mouth open, “ARE YOU F**KING INSANE? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN LET YOUR DOG WALK INTO MY F**KING YARD?!
She looked surprised! “He’s just walking around.” And all this time the f**king dog is walking around sniffing.
“GET YOUR F**KING DOG OUT OF MY YARD YOU DUMB B**CH!”
She starts to reel the dog in and apologizes. Once the dog is out of my yard she continues her walk. “LET YOUR F**KING DOG BACK IN MY YARD AGAIN! I DARE YOU!” I yelled as she retreated. I was fuming so much that I was literally shaking. I developed a migraine the size of that Great Dane’s shit.
So what was that stupid dog sniffing? The cat shit that my neighbors cat keeps burying in my front yard! Yep. The neighbor’s cat continually comes over to my yard and shits. I couldn’t take it anymore so I looked up remedies to keep pets out and I read they didn’t like the smell of vinegar. So I went to the local store and purchased some distilled white vinegar and poured it around the outer edge of my yard. I haven’t caught the cat in the act yet so I don’t know if it’s working but my yard smells like a god-damned salad bar and the vegetarian neighbors from across the street keep coming over to visit.
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Comment by signals
The Health Fanatic
The Natural Order
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The Dope Chronicles
I don't blame you for being angry but just my 2 cents...don't use curse words on your blog. I understand that there are a lot of irresponsible pet owners who shouldn't have a pet because they feel the pet is privleged to do anything it wants.
Comment by Anonymous
The Funny and the Sad
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