People we don't need to see again in the music studio
November 19th 2008 05:11
It was during the summer that one of my worst nightmares came to pass. New Kids on the Block were reuniting and putting out more music after fading away sometime in the 1990's. Yes it was a sad day for all of us when these almost middle aged men chose to come back and haunt us with more of the same stuff they used to torture us with when they and we were younger.
It came to me because there has been a rush of bands to reunite and try and capture some of the glory days from their past. Sometimes you think "Wait, this could be interesting!" Here are some bands and some singers that need to stay out of the studio and in retirement. Permanently.
Bros - Possibly the worst twin duo ever to come out of the UK. Do you remember their song "When will I be famous?" It should have been "How did they get to be famous? I can't answer that...no I can't answer that..How did they get their picture in the paper?" Thank God time has marched on from their worst piece "chocolate cake". I could have gagged. Still could if I hear their music.
Proclaimers - Perhaps I spoke too soon when I said that Bros was the worst duo to ever come out of the UK . These two gits run a very very close second... "Uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh..." I'd have walked 5000 miles just to escape from listening to anything they sang.
Kriss Kross - What? More brothers? What is it with brothers and particularly bad music? Can't remember anything else they rapped about except for the insipidly inane "jump". I wanted to..anything to escape from the fools who followed them in wearing clothes backwards.
Billy Ray Cyrus - He hasn't left the scene yet officially and the one thing that keeps him holding on is that he now has a daughter to keep him almost in the spotlight. The only thing worse than Miley are her dad's songs which couldn't give me anything else but achy breaky ears! Ouch! Thankfully, I have never heard any of her songs. I really don't want to hate both father and daughter.
Toni Childs - Her voice was the most aggravating and the most annoying. I'm happy that when she sang 'I've got to go now" she really really meant it. Really.
Colour Me Badd - How do you describe something so awful in such a short space? You can't. But their name said it all, perhaps if they'd have just cut their name down to "Badd" then we'd have recognized how talentless they were to begin with and saved our money one something more worthwhile. I adore mi amor? No no senor! Problemo? El sucko grande!
All for One - (See Colour Me Badd) Slightly better than CMB though. If you close your eyes it's the same thing...like trying to tell the difference between french fries from fast food outlets.
Vanilla Ice - Need I say more? Thankfully we had Eminem come along and save white people's dignity by restoring their faith in rap.
There are countless more who have made non contributions to the music industry and we thank you talentless singers and bands so very much. Not for your music, but simply for the fact that you have chosen to pursue other interests away from the music studio. We are eternally grateful for your exit. Just keep the door locked on your return, so we can stay thankful.
It came to me because there has been a rush of bands to reunite and try and capture some of the glory days from their past. Sometimes you think "Wait, this could be interesting!" Here are some bands and some singers that need to stay out of the studio and in retirement. Permanently.
Bros - Possibly the worst twin duo ever to come out of the UK. Do you remember their song "When will I be famous?" It should have been "How did they get to be famous? I can't answer that...no I can't answer that..How did they get their picture in the paper?" Thank God time has marched on from their worst piece "chocolate cake". I could have gagged. Still could if I hear their music.
Proclaimers - Perhaps I spoke too soon when I said that Bros was the worst duo to ever come out of the UK . These two gits run a very very close second... "Uh huh uh huh uh huh uh huh..." I'd have walked 5000 miles just to escape from listening to anything they sang.
Kriss Kross - What? More brothers? What is it with brothers and particularly bad music? Can't remember anything else they rapped about except for the insipidly inane "jump". I wanted to..anything to escape from the fools who followed them in wearing clothes backwards.
Billy Ray Cyrus - He hasn't left the scene yet officially and the one thing that keeps him holding on is that he now has a daughter to keep him almost in the spotlight. The only thing worse than Miley are her dad's songs which couldn't give me anything else but achy breaky ears! Ouch! Thankfully, I have never heard any of her songs. I really don't want to hate both father and daughter.
Toni Childs - Her voice was the most aggravating and the most annoying. I'm happy that when she sang 'I've got to go now" she really really meant it. Really.
Colour Me Badd - How do you describe something so awful in such a short space? You can't. But their name said it all, perhaps if they'd have just cut their name down to "Badd" then we'd have recognized how talentless they were to begin with and saved our money one something more worthwhile. I adore mi amor? No no senor! Problemo? El sucko grande!
All for One - (See Colour Me Badd) Slightly better than CMB though. If you close your eyes it's the same thing...like trying to tell the difference between french fries from fast food outlets.
Vanilla Ice - Need I say more? Thankfully we had Eminem come along and save white people's dignity by restoring their faith in rap.
There are countless more who have made non contributions to the music industry and we thank you talentless singers and bands so very much. Not for your music, but simply for the fact that you have chosen to pursue other interests away from the music studio. We are eternally grateful for your exit. Just keep the door locked on your return, so we can stay thankful.
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Granted, some of the "acts" listed above do deserve it, but unfortunately, nothing gets people going crazy at a party/reunion-do than a bunch of daggy songs that may or may not have been released by the above "acts" or others similar to it. And when it comes to pop music, they're a dime a dozen.