Pat

Brisbane, Queensland, AUSTRALIA


Joined January 4th 2008

Number of Posts:
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159

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58 Post(s)

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Billy Liar

June 30th 2009 03:59
Billy Liar is essentially Catcher In The Rye with Holden Caulfield's alcoholism and irrational flightiness replaced by afflictions of pathological lying and neurotic rehearsed comedy routines.

Billy Liar


It's all about little Billy Fisher who we see throughout a single day throughout which his dishonest ways become humiliating apparent. He gets hassled by his boss at the local undertaker's, nagged by his mother, shouted at by his father and chased around town by a few local floosies - all of which are the victims and subjects of his devious web of lies.

The tide quickly turns against Billy as he's confronted on a regular basis about his liberal misuse of the truth and it's plain that despite his mind working at a million miles an hour to concoct enough fabrications to fill every sentence, those around him see through the ploy with little effort at all. The bulk of the plot deals with poor Billy's efforts to keep a brave face despite his imaginary world collapsing around him in every facet of his life - he gets grief at home, it follows him to work, his buddies join in the fun, before the old blokes at the local give him a pint-fuelled public serve.

What we're dealing with here is a bit of a coming-of-age style romp littered with some somewhat funny comedic moments up until the point where our hero faces an awkward moment of truth and decides that he probably doesn't want to come of age all that much (now that he's had some time to think about it).

It's a story which I could see making some people depressed (if you're bothered by the idea of a no-hoper's life destined to end in mediocrity, if not disaster), but I prefer to think about it as a story about a kid who is always having a great time. I liked Billy better than Catcher In The Rye's Holden because he's always so chipper as his internal monologue bangs on about a strange fantasy land while his mouth runs off about a series of improbable lies which are doomed to be exposed.

Of course, it's not nearly as good as Catcher In The Rye but I think that I actually enjoyed it more because Billy's such good value during the course of his downward spiral - not like Holden who was a miserable sort who you would very much like to avoid at the local PubTab. Billy, on the other hand, would be shouting drinks for all and sundry and making witty remarks to the drunk sheilas passing by your table - an ideal pub companion in my opinion, and that's why I'm 100% behind him.

It's only short (less than 200 pages maybe?!); you should read it. It's apparently been adapted into numerous stage productions and a movie - all of which I've never seen and have absolutely no interest in seeing.

Postscript: This review is much too short but I'd just like to cover that up by saying that it's important to keep in mind that the things which I left out are much more telling than the issues which I talked about [nah, I'm just lazy].
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Good evening friends. This post is a little window into the world behind the scenes of this ultra-popular weblog - today we are talking about internet search traffic.

There's not a whole lot of consistency with the kind of searches which people do on Google to get here and read something stupid, but there's always one consistent little search term plugging away and doing its best to add to my meagre site traffic:

great gatsby sucks

Well, how about that, a controversial opinion of mine has hit a chord with hundreds of pimpled teens all over the world who were forced to read this hunk of junk by some high-school teacher somewhere and then came onto the internet to rebel with some crude Google searches.

Now, to be honest, I can't even really remember what I wrote about The Great Gatsby, but the next 100 posts on this blog are going to be a series of abusive comments about the 100 most popular novels of all time, which I have most likely not read nor even heard about.

AdSense profits, here I come!!!
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American Gods

May 5th 2009 12:30
Truly one of the worst books I've read in a long while. I decided to read it because of some comment about it made in an article in the Guardian newspaper. Not only does it read like it was written by a fifteen year old (absolutely serious with this point; it is technically a horrible piece of work), but it's a bewilderingly open rip-off of a colleague of the writer.

American Gods


It's written by Neil Gaiman who's apparently most famous for putting out some kind of graphic novel years ago which I never read. He's now written a book which claims to be a study of the diverse nature of North America and which features (and I guarantee you that I'm not making this up) an Arab having a homosexual love encounter with a djinn (ie. an Arabian genie) taxi driver in New York City, culminating in Gaiman going into such specifics as describing the taste of djinn ejaculate as being 'spicy'.

Amazing.

It's even more inexplicable when you take into account the fact that the homosexual Arabian duo play absolutely no part in the story apart from knocking together an erotic encounter over the course of a few pages and that's about it.

But gratuitous exotic sexual acts aside, I've got another major gripe:

1. American Gods was published in 1991. Without wanting to delve too deeply into the plot (in case I ruin it for you beyond what Gaiman's already managed to do), it deals with the idea of 'gods' coming into existence as a result of people believing in them. The more believers, the more powerful the god, etc.

2. Small Gods is a book by Terry Pratchett published in 1992. It deals with exactly the same concept as I've set out above.

3. Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch is a collaboration between Gaiman and Pratchett published in 1990. I have literally no idea about it's subject matter, and I'm not about to go and find out.

The facts are clear. Pratchett is a kindly, old man with Alzheimers. He's practically a cripple and an easy target for a shyster like Gaiman with his sinister motives and woefully inadequate ability to put pen to paper in a sensible and entertaining fashion.

Basically, I'm accusing Gaiman of STEALING the idea for his book (which he cunningly published before poor, senile, old Pratchett managed to blast through the barrier of his mental handicap to publish his) under the pretense of collaboration.

Despicable behaviour from an allegedly 'respected' author. I feel sick even thinking about it.

All in all, this book is an absolute disaster from start to finish and Gaiman deserves hate mail by the truckload for what he's done to me, and countless others around the globe - and let's not forget trusting Terry who's been taken for one hell of a ride on the rollercoaster of PLAGARISM.

Do not read this book. Vote and comment as much as possible. I value your feedback. Thanks for sharing your precious internet time with me, friends.

=|:^)
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Flashman and the Redskins

April 13th 2009 09:31
The plot of this book follows on from the ending of Flash for Freedom (which I've read, but haven't reviewed for this website) and which details Sir Harry Paget Flashman's forced departure from a comfortable life in England and press-ganged into involvement in the slave trade.

[THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU WOULD SEE A LOUSY PHOTO OF THE COVER OF THE BOOK IF THE ORBLE NETWORK ACTUALLY FUNCTIONED PROPERLY AND LET ME UPLOAD THE PHOTO RATHER THAN JUST SITTING AND WAITING HERE IN FRUSTRATION AS NOTHING HAPPENS, THANKS A BUNCH ORBLE


[ Click here to read more ]
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Letter Of The Day

March 30th 2009 13:16
My short review of "Rides A Dread Legion: A Novel For Virgins" brought in a swag of correspondence. Here's the best of a bad bunch:

So.. Although the darkwar series suffers from a number of problems as many has pointed out, like inconsistencies, too short books, faulty character development etc, it still provides a good romp. And it did gather together a number of story strands to a fairly satisfying conclusion.

[ Click here to read more ]
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1 - Tea Time for the Traditionally Built
by Alexander McCall Smith

[ Click here to read more ]
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Alright, yeah ok.

March 19th 2009 11:34
Let's see how long I last this time. I don't reckon I'll make 3 months.
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Letter Of The Day

November 11th 2008 11:13
Ha ha haha, jackass.

finally you have stopped posting stupid crap on your blog and you have FAILED at it just like everything else you have tried to do in your life, ha haa. This is just like how you couldnt tie your own shoelaces until you were twelve years old and you can still barely ride a bike, you cant stick at anything and its so freaking obvious. it is actually kind of embarrassing when you think about it lol


[ Click here to read more ]
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Hurr.

October 26th 2008 04:55
Much too lazy to post something interesting on the Orble network (which is annoyingly sluggish today, which adds to my lethargy re: doing something worthwhile), but if you clicked here hoping to find something interesting to read (ha ha) then you could always click on the link which immediately follows this sentence and read something great by a good writer:

Really Long Link
[ Click here to read more ]
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Two Ukrainian sisters living in England argue and fued their way through the family catastrophe of their elderly father falling for a large-breasted (fat) seductress. Relationships between sister and sister, sister and father, other sister and father, father and wife, sister and husband, other sister and ex-husband, both sisters and father’s wife, are all explored and developed in a way in which would get the panties of a housewife frothing after she picked up this drab affair from the discount shelf of the supermarket.

Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian

[ Click here to read more ]
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Recent Comments

Comment by Pat
on List of some popular books which suck

April 13th 2009 06:07
Gosh, this post is a badly written piece of internet, thanks for reminding me of the past 'Spike The Lobster'. I'm not particularly impressed with the writings from Pat of thirteen months ago - poorly drafted with repetitive sentences talking about not all too much in particular.

I'm sure I wrote it in about 10 minutes all up, but geez louise, it's not too good for the confidence to read rubbish written by myself a long way down the track.

Yours truly,
Pat

Comment by Pat
on The Youngest Templar

March 21st 2009 11:53
Attention people from overseas: feel free to send me books, I will review plenty friendly, me like your free books from the mail service, good days gentlemen

Comment by Pat
on NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

March 21st 2009 11:47
Worst review I have ever read, stu kicks you are an idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Pat
on Letter Of The Day

March 15th 2009 11:01
I'm back, ok?! Just busy tonight writing some stuff for court tomorrow (very important), but then I'm all yours internet.

Comment by Pat
on Letter Of The Day

March 9th 2009 11:21
ya, here it is:

On Topic Media retains copyright over the material on each blog to protect ourselves legally. In practice we do not stop bloggers editing, deleting, or using their material for other purposes such as books. We do ask that the material you publish on Orble blogs is not duplicated elsewhere on the web without asking us first. If you have a specific reason that you wish to retain copyright over your work contact support@orble.com.

Comment by Pat
on Letter Of The Day

March 9th 2009 11:18
Pretty sure Orble owns teh copyright for everything you put up here in some limited extent.

They can't go around re-publishing it for profit, but I'm fairly sure there's an agreement when you sign up that you won't publish it elsewhere on teh super world wide information web highway.

But what are they gonna do, you know? Just some lousy virgins who need some sunshine and maybe some physical activity!?!

Comment by Pat
on Letter Of The Day

March 6th 2009 02:49
yeah ok Luke, sure I'll come back.

But it sure would be easier to post on the Orble network if it wasn't so damn UGLY with all those advertisements MESSING IT UP and making me look the buffoon.

Maybe I should re-post all of my delicious content on another free 'blog' web service with no advertising and go from there. I realise that I'm not allowed to do this under ORBLE CODE OF CONDUCT RULES so can one of the head honchos please respond here and confirm/deny whether I'll be sued?

Cheers, thanks fellas

Comment by Pat
on Letter Of The Day

November 13th 2008 09:38
If that son of a bitch looks at me in the wrong way, I'm going to sock him right in the chops.

Comment by Pat
on In Milton Lumky Territory

November 13th 2008 09:12
yeah alright, point taken, it still wasn't that good though.

Comment by Pat
on Simon Pegg on the ills of fast zombies

November 11th 2008 11:24
I think there was a response to Pegg's column by Charlie Brooker (Booker??) on the Guardian website as well but he basically concedes almost every point in light of Pegg's zombie knowledge.