Recent Posts
I've finally started posting in my own domain name under www.frugallyhappy.com - I am so excited to get this chance from Orble and want to take this chance to thank everyone who's visited this site and helped me with your insightful comments
I shall not be posting anymore on this site but I hope you continue to visit me at www.frugallyhappy.com
See ya around.....
I was on a parenting bulletin board recently and read a post by a mother who was worried that her 4 1/2 year old did not know enough. "What should a 4 year old know?" she asked.
Most of the answers left me not only saddened but pretty soundly annoyed.
One mom posted a laundry list of all of the things her son knew. Counting to 100, planets, how to write his first and last name, and on and on. Others chimed in with how much more their children already knew, some who were only 3. A few posted URL's to lists of what each age should know. The fewest yet said that each child develops at his own pace and not to worry.
It bothered me greatly to see these mothers responding to a worried mom by adding to her concern, with lists of all the things their children could do that hers couldn't. We are such a competitive culture that even our preschoolers have become trophies and bragging rights.
Childhood shouldn't be a race.
So here, I offer my list of what a 4 year old should know.
1. She should know that she is loved wholly and unconditionally, all of the time.
2. He should know that he is safe and he should know how to keep himself safe in public, with others, and in varied situations. He should know that he can trust his instincts about people and that he never has to do something that doesn't feel right, no matter who is asking. He should know his personal rights and that his family will back them up.
3. She should know how to laugh, act silly, be goofy and use her imagination. She should know that it is always okay to paint the sky orange and give cats 6 legs.
4. He should know his own interests and be encouraged to follow them. If he could care less about learning his numbers, his parents should realize he'll learn them accidentally soon enough and let him immerse himself instead in rocket ships, drawing, dinosaurs or playing in the mud.
5. She should know that the world is magical and that so is she. She should know that she's wonderful, brilliant, creative, compassionate and marvelous. She should know that it's just as worthy to spend the day outside making daisy chains, mud pies and fairy houses as it is to practice phonics. Scratch that way more worthy.
1. That every child learns to walk, talk, read and do algebra at his own pace and that it will have no bearing on how well he walks, talks, reads or does algebra.
2. That the single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read them wonderful books.
3. That being the smartest or most accomplished kid in class has never had any bearing on being the happiest. We are so caught up in trying to give our children "advantages" that we're giving them lives as multi-tasked and stressful as ours. One of the biggest advantages we can give our children is a simple, carefree childhood.
4. That our children deserve to be surrounded by books, nature, art supplies and the freedom to explore them. Most of us could get rid of 90% of our children's toys and they wouldn't be missed, but some things are important building toys like legos and blocks, creative toys like all types of art materials (good stuff), musical instruments (real ones and multicultural ones), dress up clothes and books, books, books. (Incidentally, much of this can be picked up quite cheaply at thrift shops.) They need to have the freedom to explore with these things too to play with scoops of dried beans in the high chair (supervised, of course), to knead bread and make messes, to use paint and play dough and glitter at the kitchen table while we make supper even though it gets everywhere, to have a spot in the yard where it's absolutely fine to dig up all the grass and make a mud pit.
5. That our children need more of us. We have become so good at saying that we need to take care of ourselves that some of us have used it as an excuse to have the rest of the world take care of our kids. Yes, we all need undisturbed baths, time with friends, sanity breaks and an occasional life outside of parenthood. But we live in a time when parenting magazines recommend trying to commit to 10 minutes a day with each child and scheduling one Saturday a month as family day. That's not okay! Our children don't need Nintendos, computers, after school activities, ballet lessons, play groups and soccer practice nearly as much as they need US.
They need fathers who sit and listen to their days, mothers who join in and make crafts with them, parents who take the time to read them stories and act like idiots with them. They need us to take walks with them and not mind the .1 MPH pace of a toddler on a spring night. They deserve to help us make supper even though it takes twice as long and makes it twice as much work. They deserve to know that they're a priority for us and that we truly love to be with them.
And now back to those 4 year old skills lists
..
I know it's human nature to want to know how our children compare to others and to want to make sure we're doing all we can for them. Here is a list of what children are typically taught or should know by the end of each year of school, starting with preschool:
World Book
My favorite advice about preschoolers is on this site though:
Red Shift
What does a 4 year old need? Much less than we realize, and much more.
P.S - I am not being paid by any of the sites I link to
The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005 comes into effect this Thursday in India.
According to estimates, about 70% of women in India are victims of domestic abuse in some form. Kids who grow up being abused or seeing their mother abused will in turn continue that into their adulthood and the vicious cycle continues...
Under this law, domestic violence offenders can be jailed for a maximum of one year or fined up to Rs 20,000, or both.
The new law provides an all-encompassing definition of domestic violence including not only physical violence by the husband, such as beating or physically hurting his wife, or sexual violence like forced intercourse, but also verbal or emotional violence such as insulting the wife or preventing her from taking up a job, and even economic violence such as not allowing the wife to use her salary.
The law addresses sexual abuse of children, or forcing girls to marry against their wishes as well.
While I commend the governments intentions with both this law and the law to prevent child labor, I wonder about how the government is going to make it work?. Does the government have the necessary power and will to implement and maintain these laws ? Or is this just lip-service to be made effective and then forgotten or wilfully disobeyed like most other laws in India?
Only time will tell
read about this incident a couple of days ago and just cant seem to get it out of my head.
According to this article, a father starved his five-year-old son to death for being mischievous....(What the
[ Click here to read more ]
Is there a correlation between more junk food ads in children's television and childhood obesity?
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) plans to study links between the marketing campaigns for food targeted at children 12 and under and the rise of childhood obesity
[ Click here to read more ]
A couple of weeks ago some some of the nation's top nutrition researchers gathered in New York City to discuss the importance of mother-daughter role modeling and the long-term implications for a woman's health.
WSJ also had an article recently on Exploring Moms' Role in Girls' Health
[ Click here to read more ]
Parents who spend time and money to teach their children music, take heart a new study shows young children who take music lessons have better memories than their nonmusical peers.
This is the first study to show that brain responses in young, musically trained and untrained children change differently over the course of a year, said Trainor who led the study
[ Click here to read more ]
According to this study, the brains of babies and young children are hard-wired for math and they can perform math tasks without even realizing it
Next time someone complains about arithmetic being hard, math lovers can defend themselves by saying even a 6-month-old can do it
[ Click here to read more ]
Ive never liked the Bratz brand and have so far successfully managed to steer my kids past that particular aisle. I dont have anything against dolls - Girls need their dolls - its just this particular brand.
Despite the variety of dolls marketed specifically for little girls , I havent found a single one I like. I find them all disgusting though I cant figure out which one is the worst - The gothic Bratz (black hair, black lipstick, and burlesque clothing) or the baby Bratz (with a milk bottle and black lace underwear
[ Click here to read more ]
|
|
|
Add Comments
Comments (9)
Read More
on ur comment
Comment by parentingwisdom
on Get into the Christmas spirit....one penny at a time
Parenting Wisdom
Thanks for stopping by...Totally agree with you. The love and fun is in the giving of gits ....