Paragraph 9, Poem =Wrongly Accused
October 24th 2008 16:40
This is how I truly feel abut the state of depression.
I think it constrains a person from, fulfilling their desired
capabilities, actually leaving them with feelings of shame,
doubt, guilt, and despair. In my case, wonder, as to why
or what I have done to deserve such a sentence.
Wrongly Accused
Invisible bars surround me ,
as I serve out a sentence.
Yet, confusion consumes me
for no crime have, I committed.
Unaware, of it's length
my hope fades, my strength withers.
As often I've dreamt,
of escape, only to find that I remain,
trapped within the deep dark,
recesses of my fractured mind.
I think it constrains a person from, fulfilling their desired
capabilities, actually leaving them with feelings of shame,
doubt, guilt, and despair. In my case, wonder, as to why
or what I have done to deserve such a sentence.
Wrongly Accused
Invisible bars surround me ,
as I serve out a sentence.
Unaware, of it's length
my hope fades, my strength withers.
As often I've dreamt,
of escape, only to find that I remain,
trapped within the deep dark,
recesses of my fractured mind.
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Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I really like this one. Especially the line-breaks in the following two stanzas:
of escape, only to find that I remain
trapped within the deep, dark
recesses of my fractured mind
You seem to be having the same problems a lot of poets have with punctuation. As in, where does it go? This poem seems to be a bit over-punctuated. I struggled with that one for a long time. What I tend to do nowadays is remove all of the punctuation apart from commas that are absolutely necessary. Eventually, when the work is ready for publication, an editor/proof-reader will be assigned to those details. And different publication houses have different rules. So don't stress about it at all. Just leave a lot of it out for now. There's enough work in getting the words right. Or have a look at some of the prize winning poetry of today and take your guide from there.