Paragraph 3, Poem = The Weeping Willow
October 19th 2008 20:35
In some ways my prayers were, answered. I suppose to, an extent. Medication eventually
lessened the panic attacks. But the anxiety, and depression remain. I know people judge
me, for the way I am. I've walked in on conversations where, I overheard someone saying
something about the way I keep things, so disorganized. And was truly hurt, because, I
every single hour of every day, for strength to just go on. Kind of looking for light at the, end
of a tunnel, when the end is never there.Many days, on my journey, I had to decide,if it was
worth living anymore.I still struggle with the thought, from time to time. But a very wise man,
I called dad, once told me that suicide is taking the easy way out.He said living is the hard
part, but shows your strength.Taking your own life, is a sin, and shows weakness. So,
when the thought crosses my mind, I think of his words and push the idea, out of my head.
Not to mention, I have five boys and they need me.And what would it do to them? Another
question,of the many, I did not want to know the answer to.
This poem, I wrote recently. Its meaning to me, is like standing in
someone, elses shoes so to speak.
The Weeping Willow
I stand,
where once, a willow stood
and weep, as it had wept.
Never,
quite grasping the concept of why,
its leaves, had hung with depth.
Yet, as I stand, where once it stood
"alone" eternally.
I experience first hand, but, a portion of,
what the willow must have seen.
Now it seems,
my own tears may never dry,
because standing, where once it stood,
I now know precisely why,
the weeping willows
leaves, had never ever dried.
| 42 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
Subscribe to this blog
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I love this one.
I'm going to offer you some suggestions. You're free to take them or leave them. They are to do with considering a few different line-breaks, miminising the punctuation, and a couple of other things. They are only suggestions. It's your poem.
If it seems harsh advice? I can only say that my poetry teacher was harsh on me, and I now thank him for it.
The Weeping Willow
I stand
where once, a willow stood
and weep as it had wept
Never quite grasping
the concept of why
its leaves had hung with depth
[or why its roots were wet ???
Yet, as I stand where it once stood
alone
eternally
I experience first hand a portion of,
what the willow must have seen
[not sure first hand is the way to go with the imagery because it’s about standing in someone else’s shoes. It might sound pedantic, but a great poem is the product of these sorts of minor tweaks and adjustments. And the cadence isn't quite right in those two lines.
[I see through the willow’s eyes ??? [the knotted parts of trees are like eyes …
Now it seems
my tears may never dry
because standing where once it stood
I now know why
the weeping willow’s leaves
had never ever dried.
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
This is my favourite.
~Dianna
Comment by jan webb
Depression Grew
Broken Wings
looking to me.I am working on another poem about it,
I sometimes get side tracked though.But thanks for you
comments. I'll need to check out your work. Jan
Comment by Dianna G
I Wish This Was 42
Fictional Worlds
I love the weeping willows, they're beautiful trees, although they really do seem lonely.
No worries. I look forward to reading more.
~Dianna