Do working mothers disadantage children?
September 20th 2008 04:01
DO WORKING MOTHERS DISADVANTAGE CHILDREN?
Recently the oldest debate has once again reared its ugly head – Do working mothers disadvantage children? The aspects of this debate could be argued until you are blue in the face but the answer really is quite simply – Every family must do what is right for their individual situation.
Igniting the argument, Mem Fox, whom was reported as stating that “Sending a child to daycare is a form of child abuse”. How dare she make such an outrageous statement without first walking in the footsteps of the average struggling family. There are others within the community that are willing to criticize working mother by saying “How dare you work! You should be at home taking care of your child”. More often than not the Grandparents are the worst offenders simply because childcare facilities were not available in their day.
With rising interest rates, a multitude of debt and the sky rocketing cost of everyday expenses more than 60% of Australian families are forced to have 2 working parents simply to put food on the table and keep the wolves from the door. Many working mothers believe that there is no other option except to work in order to be able to make ends meat and adequately provide for their family. Unfortunately this debate does not take into consideration the average family's hardship nor the mental and emotional strain on working mothers for placing their child in daycare.
A large majority of working mothers feel that they are short changing their child, that placing their child in daycare that they have somehow failed as a mother, guilty for putting their careers first and get upset at the departure of leaving a screaming irate child behind.
There is currently no research available to support claims that a child placed in daycare at an early age will result in psychological damage/harm to the child, in fact evidence suggests quite the opposite. Mounting evidence suggests that children placed in daycare are able to build a stronger immunity prior to commencing preschool, are more social than the counterparts, adapt more readily to change and are generally more well adjusted.
So what makes a good daycare center?
1) Staff must be respectful and flexible allowing the individuality of a child
2) Staff actively interact with children rather than in a clinical manner
3) Your child appears happy and content
4) The center is full of warmth and energy
5) Staff are pleased to see you child and vise versa
Everyone needs to establish a source of sanity amidst the mayhem of everyday life. Fathers go off fishing or meet their friends at the local hotel but unfortunately mothers, who are predominately the primary carer, do not have the same luxury. Daycare may provide a source of sanity to mothers where there is no other option available for example, relatives and friends, to care for the child. Mothers need to be reminded (as we all do) that they had a life before children, housework and thrown into the role of primary care provider for the family unit as a whole. Childcare facilities may provide this opportunity and a chance to take a breather and relax in which everyone needs, dare I say deserves, male or female.
As I am a young mother of little ones under the age of 5 years I empathize with your plight, and can only offer these kind words . . PLEASE stop kicking yourself and putting yourself down as there are enough people in the world that will do that for you.
As I have experienced similar criticism as a large majority of working mothers I therefore feel confident to recommend the following DVD series:
Toddler Taming – the guide to your child from one to four (set of 4 DVDs)
Written and presented by Dr Christopher Green
Supplier: Marcom
DICS 3 topics discussed:1. Overview
2. Do working mothers disadvantage children
3. Good childcare
4. Help . . .They're sick!
5. Be organized or else
6. Quality Time – the Goal
I found this DVD and the Toddler Taming series in general, to be extremely beneficial. I came to realize that I was not alone and that other working mothers had gone through similar experiences regarding placing their child in daycare.
I no longer view daycare as an evil prison camp for toddlers but more so that my child will have the opportunity to socialize and interact with their peers. This is not to suggest that I do not get an attack of guilt as I depart leaving my child kicking and screaming at the door. But I now feel more confident that I am doing the best I can for my family, child and sanity levels.
I also understand that selecting a daycare/carer for your precious little ones can be daunting with much uncertainty. Here are a few suggestions that may provide working mothers with piece of mind and confidence when selecting the daycare option:
1) Try to visit as many childcare facilities as possible and openly discuss with the staff you
concerns
2) Watch the children at the daycare center – do they appear happy and content?
3) Ask friends and family if they can recommend a daycare center ( Remember what is right
for their child is not necessarily right for your child)4) Is the daycare center bright, warm and full of energy and excitement?
5) How long has the daycare center been operating? What is the staff turnover?
As more childcare facilities operate from 6am to 6pm, working mothers may find it useful to know that many centers now offer nutritional meals. In fact when my son was going to daycare he often ate better than I did having, Tuna Mornay, Spaghetti, Beef Strgonoff, etc. This may assist with fussy eater as they appear more inclined to eat alongside their peers, and remove some of the pressure on working mothers.
I am confident that if working mothers explore and investigate Daycare centers for themselves that they will find a center that is suitable for their child(ren) and families unique situation. Due to the fact that the raging debate of whether or not working mothers disadvantage children, it has resurfaced already open mental and emotional scars that would indicate that more compassion, empathy and understanding is needed within out community.
A word to working mothers:
PLEASE BE KIND TO YOURSELF after all you can only do what you feel is right for your child and family.
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