NORTH OUT STUMBLE MELBOURNE
July 28th 2008 12:31
NORTH OUT STUMBLE MELBOURNE.
North Melbourne out fumbled, out crumbled and finally out stumbled Melbourne at the ‘G yesterday ‘arv in a match that won’t exactly have fans queuing ‘round this or any other block to buy the bloody thing on ‘Name A Game DVD’.
Then again, perhaps the game should be packaged and re-labelled as a master class in how not to send the ball into the forward fifty, such was the hilarity which greeted Melbourne’s hap - hazard forward thrusts. The sound of Demon forwards slapping into each other as they tried to spin unsuccessfully out of their full-forward line cluster and into anything approaching open space was only marginally louder than that of North supporters banging their knees with cold, beer filled hands in uproarious laughter as though the scoreboard was playing episodes of “Get Smart” back to flamin’ back.
Unfortunately, for the vast majority of the twenty - two odd thousand poor sods who managed to eek out an existence as fans at the game, the big screens were stubborn in their refusal to show nothing but scenes from the match in progress over and over and over and over and over again.
Struth.
Happily, Lindsay Thomas was as quick as the weather was cold and could go home satisfied if not frost - bitten with his five majors for the day. Corey Jones chimed in like a cheap door bell with four and showed glimpses of his awkward, opportunistic best. Brent Harvey, with one eye on the Brownlow and the other on a hot shower after the game was quick and damaging while Adam Simpson turned back the clock far enough to hall in a screamer on the forward flank, though not back quite far enough to kick the goal.
For Melbourne …
Perhaps their most spirited for the day was the septuagenarian piranha who wouldn’t have been out of place on the Purana Taskforce and her vociferous, dogged, and sectarian (in football terms anyway) objection to a mild mannered North supporter, at the game with his partner, five month old son (rugged up and transported in a portable igloo, readers) and his partner’s parents.
He made the unholy mistake of sitting behind the non playing Melbourne players, whose groans at not gettin’ a game with such rabble would have impressed Jacob Marley. No sooner had he sat down at his Melbourne supporting father in laws invitation than this bigoted bottle of pureed red and blue rinsed vinegar pounced, spitting out that this was a Melbourne area and demanding to know what right he had being there.
The speed with which she raced at quarter time to the nearest MCG employee - unfortunately for her a hapless teenage pie seller whose knowledge of football dipped sharply beyond the circumference of his lukewarm Four ’n’ Twenty’s would have put Aaron Davey to shame.
Perhaps it was North’s first quarter of genuinely good football that had upset her so. Perhaps it was the fact that she was a young woman the last time Melbourne were a genuine Premiership threat and that eternity in all its utter endlessness, Is about as far away as the ‘Dee’s of ‘08 seem to be from another.
North on the other hand move up to fifth and if form returns and holds, the Dickensian prospect of Geelong waiting in the first week of the finals.
Bring out the “Get Smart”, please …
North Melbourne out fumbled, out crumbled and finally out stumbled Melbourne at the ‘G yesterday ‘arv in a match that won’t exactly have fans queuing ‘round this or any other block to buy the bloody thing on ‘Name A Game DVD’.
Then again, perhaps the game should be packaged and re-labelled as a master class in how not to send the ball into the forward fifty, such was the hilarity which greeted Melbourne’s hap - hazard forward thrusts. The sound of Demon forwards slapping into each other as they tried to spin unsuccessfully out of their full-forward line cluster and into anything approaching open space was only marginally louder than that of North supporters banging their knees with cold, beer filled hands in uproarious laughter as though the scoreboard was playing episodes of “Get Smart” back to flamin’ back.
Unfortunately, for the vast majority of the twenty - two odd thousand poor sods who managed to eek out an existence as fans at the game, the big screens were stubborn in their refusal to show nothing but scenes from the match in progress over and over and over and over and over again.
Struth.
Happily, Lindsay Thomas was as quick as the weather was cold and could go home satisfied if not frost - bitten with his five majors for the day. Corey Jones chimed in like a cheap door bell with four and showed glimpses of his awkward, opportunistic best. Brent Harvey, with one eye on the Brownlow and the other on a hot shower after the game was quick and damaging while Adam Simpson turned back the clock far enough to hall in a screamer on the forward flank, though not back quite far enough to kick the goal.
For Melbourne …
Perhaps their most spirited for the day was the septuagenarian piranha who wouldn’t have been out of place on the Purana Taskforce and her vociferous, dogged, and sectarian (in football terms anyway) objection to a mild mannered North supporter, at the game with his partner, five month old son (rugged up and transported in a portable igloo, readers) and his partner’s parents.
He made the unholy mistake of sitting behind the non playing Melbourne players, whose groans at not gettin’ a game with such rabble would have impressed Jacob Marley. No sooner had he sat down at his Melbourne supporting father in laws invitation than this bigoted bottle of pureed red and blue rinsed vinegar pounced, spitting out that this was a Melbourne area and demanding to know what right he had being there.
The speed with which she raced at quarter time to the nearest MCG employee - unfortunately for her a hapless teenage pie seller whose knowledge of football dipped sharply beyond the circumference of his lukewarm Four ’n’ Twenty’s would have put Aaron Davey to shame.
Perhaps it was North’s first quarter of genuinely good football that had upset her so. Perhaps it was the fact that she was a young woman the last time Melbourne were a genuine Premiership threat and that eternity in all its utter endlessness, Is about as far away as the ‘Dee’s of ‘08 seem to be from another.
North on the other hand move up to fifth and if form returns and holds, the Dickensian prospect of Geelong waiting in the first week of the finals.
Bring out the “Get Smart”, please …
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