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Everything I do is awesome. Even the most minor miniscule mediocre mundane monotonous tedious boring everyday task... I make awesome.
It’s just the way I roll, it’s like I’m in a movie and I’m the cool guy. Say I get a phone call right, instead of saying hello, I say “Sup slut” even when it’s my mum. When I hang up I throw the phone in the air, do a spin and catch it in my pocket.
If you give me a Yo Yo I’ll rock the cradle like a mother fucker... so step back cockholes, Awesome Dudes in town!
What you need-
Eight sausages
2 medium white onions
Few cloves of garlic
2 red chillis
Can of crushed tomatoes
Tablespoon of flour
Olive oil
Turmeric
Cumin
Coriander seeds
Hot paprika (you can use clive of india curry powder in place of the spices)
Couple of cups of water
2 cups of long grain rice
What you do-
Cook your sausages in a super hot fry-pan remove and put to the side. In the same pan throw in a tablespoon of turmeric, cumin, coriander seeds and hot paprika (they should all be in powder form) and just toast them until fragrant splash in some oil and then your diced onion chilli’s and garlic. Fry then off until soft, then throw in the can of tomatoes and run water in the can, say half full swish around and pour into pan. Cut your sausages on a diagonal and return to the pan add another cup of water lower heat and simmer for half hour, you don’t have to cook this curry that long because the sausages are already tender. Cook you rice, equal parts water to rice use the absorption method stove or microwave. Serve.
Awesome Curried Sausages
Fun fact No25- If Holden Caulfield tried to talk to me I would kick him in the nuts.
Nomad
Alright people, are we feeling manly? I know I am.
There is nothing more manly than a big steak cooked medium rare (closer to rare) and when you whack on some roasted Dutch carrots, potato and mushrooms, and a little asparagus. Then drizzle on some Red Wine Jus, well you have a fucking splendid meal fit for a fancy restaurant.
What you need-
2 porterhouse steaks (I had some thick cut ones that weighed around 300gms)
A bunch of Dutch carrots
3 small potatoes
4 smallish mushies
A bunch of asparagus
1 cup of red wine (something nice because you drink the rest with dinner)
1 cup of beef stock
Half an onion finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic crushed
2 tablespoons of butter
Olive oil
What you do-
Cut your potatoes in half and bung ‘em in some water and in the microwave for 8 mins on high. Have your oven pre-heated to 180c. Wash your carrots, brush the dirt off your mushies and throw them on an oven tray drizzle with olive oil, season and whack it in the oven. When the potatoes are done throw them on the oven tray too. (Olive oil and season too) Cool, forget about them for 40 mins.
Get the asparagus and chop off the woody end and put it in some water ready for the microwave.
With about 20 mins to go on the roasted veg, you should start cooking your steak. Now with my thick cut steaks I sealed them both sides for 3 mins then whacked it in the oven for ten mins then rested them for ten mins. Remember to season your steaks just before you cook them.
Red Wine Jus. Now this is just a basic Red Wine Jus, for an authentic “Jus” you should use the liquid from the meat, but this one’s quick and easy and tastes friggin’ awesome.
Alright in a small saucepan fry off the garlic and onion in some olive oil until really brown and sticking to the saucepan. Now put in the cup of red wine and de-glaze the pan by scraping all the goodness of the bottom, and rapidly boil it until it has reduced by half. Then whack in the beef stock and rapidly boil until it has reduced by half, stir in the butter and boil for another couple of mins or until it has reduced by 3/4. Done.
Put asparagus in the microwave on high for 4 mins.
Place everything on plate and drizzle with Jus. Serve.
Awesome Porterhouse with Red Wine Jus
Fun fact No15- Henry Miller likes a well rounded French whore.
Nomad
Alright spazmoids, this is a continuation from the lamb shank recipe, it’s what you do with the left over sauce.
So you’ve just finished eating you’re awesome Lamb Shanks, go back into the kitchen and put the left over sauce in the fridge. >>->> (fast forward) to the next night.
What you need-
About 500gm of lamb mince
Onion
Few cloves of garlic
Leftover shank gravy
Some mushies if you like
Penne Pasta about 300gm I think...
Olive oil
What you do-
Chop onion and garlic and throw in super hot fry-pan with some oil, fry that up for a bit then whack in the lamb mince. Brown the mince, throw in the mushies, then the left over gravy/sauce and simmer for half hour. Cook your pasta al dente then whack it in the gravy stir it round and serve with some shaved parmesan.
awesome
If you want my lamb shank recipe- Really Long Link
Fun fact No5- If look up awesome in the dictionary there is a picture of me.
Nomad
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Good afternoon fellow orblers, rather cold isn’t it? Cold enough to freeze ones tits off, I’d say.
On cold days like these there is nothing better than Awesome Dudes Awesome Slow Cooked Lamb Shanks, its fucking brilliant
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Damn I’m awesome, like I’m super dooper freakin friggin awesome. I’m so awesome that when I fart it sounds like the start of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” by the Beatles... I know, it’s beautiful isn’t it?
Anyway, 2 minute noodles is a favourite amongst the loser uni student spastics, so I thought I might help them out and show them how to get the most flavour out of their Maggi 2 min noodles
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G’day molls, I’m back!
So, what’s been goin’ on? Cool. Yeah not much either, just breaking kid’s bones, especially the ones that look at me cock-eyed. You know how it is
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Alright people, I’ve just finished Awesome Dudes Awesome Dinner for One, and... Well, it was pretty good, but the question I put forth to you is. What music was I listening to whilst having my Awesome Dudes Awesome Dinner for One?
We’ll ponder that later
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So... what’s goin’ on?
I was hitting golf balls into a crowd of kids, and they were all screaming and crying like the little pussies they are. I yelled out to them “you’re lucky I’m using an iron you little maggots” So this old man comes over and he starts yelling at me, I stood there and looked him up and down, then pulled out a putter and hit him in the eye. He’s lying on the ground coughing and holding his eye and he’s trying to say something to me, but his false teeth fall out, so it’s all mumbles and dribbles. So out comes big bertha and I drive those teeth right into the crowd of kids. Shards fly everywhere, and I like to think some of that shrapnel went into the kids eyes. (Man I hate kids
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on Awesome Dudes Awesome Porterhouse with Red Wine Jus
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