No Bones About It
September 4th 2006 05:14
A few months ago, I read in a newspaper about Eddie McGuire’s intentions to “bone” Jessica Rowe. As the article unhelpfully did not provide a translation as to what boning someone meant, my first thought was “Holy crap, don’t they have any sexual harassment laws in this country?” My next thought was “Yeah, I’d probably bone her too, if given the chance.” It was only much, much later that I would learn that Eddie was only talking about firing her. Oh. How mundane. Coming from a country where “boning” meant totally another thing, I found it fascinating how a language can cross borders and retains its basic form while, at the same time, evolves to create cultural nuances. Viewed from an outsider’s perspective, it can be quite hilarious. Case in point: a linguistic gaffe of mine involving a sports terminology. I had just arrived in Australia and was watching an Aussie rules footy game on TV with a friend when he asked me if I had already picked a team. I said, “Well, I’m rooting for the Saints”, to which he replied with a barely suppressed snicker. I assumed then that he was laughing at me because I picked a lousy team. Now, I know better. Now, I know that the proper term is “barracking for a team”. Apparently, what I previously said involved me, a whole football team, and a sh*tload of sexual favors. Well, excuse me. When I got off the plane, no one ever told me “G’day, mate. Here in Australia, “rooting” is a copulatory euphemism.” I had to find it out the hard way.
In another instance, I was riding with a friend in his car when I saw a piece of paper on the dashboard. I asked him what it was and he said it was his gas bill. I asked, “You pay for your gas monthly?”, and he said “No, quarterly.”. So I asked, “Do the different gas stations each give you a separate bill or is it all in just one bill?” In hindsight, I thought he looked a bit confused after I said this. He said, “Yeah, I only get one bill because I only use one gas company”, and like a dense idiot, I replied “Wow, you’re a loyal customer. But what if you’re on a road trip and there aren’t any gas stations except for those of other companies?” At this point, we were like Abbott and Costello. (Incidentally, that’s another thing I like about Australia. They’ve got politicians named Abbott and Costello. Insert your own joke about politics here.) So he had to explain to me that the gas he was talking about was the one that heats his home, while I had to explain that the gas I was talking about powers his car. Then he explained that the word they use is “petrol”, while I explained that we only had one meaning of “gas” back home because we didn’t have to heat our dwellings since we lived in a tropical country. Well, actually, there were TWO meanings of “gas” back home, but the other one was more of an anatomical nature.
On a sidenote, why did Eddie have to say “bone her”? That could be misconstrued in some circles. He could have just said “sack her”. On second thought, scratch that. It sounds too close to “get her in the sack”. Is it just me or does termination jargon resemble bedroom talk a bit? “Lay her off” (‘nuff said), “Give her the pink slip” (wow, talk about double entendre), “Fire her” (yeah, her rockets, maybe). Corporate lingo or innuendo? Hmmm.
In another instance, I was riding with a friend in his car when I saw a piece of paper on the dashboard. I asked him what it was and he said it was his gas bill. I asked, “You pay for your gas monthly?”, and he said “No, quarterly.”. So I asked, “Do the different gas stations each give you a separate bill or is it all in just one bill?” In hindsight, I thought he looked a bit confused after I said this. He said, “Yeah, I only get one bill because I only use one gas company”, and like a dense idiot, I replied “Wow, you’re a loyal customer. But what if you’re on a road trip and there aren’t any gas stations except for those of other companies?” At this point, we were like Abbott and Costello. (Incidentally, that’s another thing I like about Australia. They’ve got politicians named Abbott and Costello. Insert your own joke about politics here.) So he had to explain to me that the gas he was talking about was the one that heats his home, while I had to explain that the gas I was talking about powers his car. Then he explained that the word they use is “petrol”, while I explained that we only had one meaning of “gas” back home because we didn’t have to heat our dwellings since we lived in a tropical country. Well, actually, there were TWO meanings of “gas” back home, but the other one was more of an anatomical nature.
On a sidenote, why did Eddie have to say “bone her”? That could be misconstrued in some circles. He could have just said “sack her”. On second thought, scratch that. It sounds too close to “get her in the sack”. Is it just me or does termination jargon resemble bedroom talk a bit? “Lay her off” (‘nuff said), “Give her the pink slip” (wow, talk about double entendre), “Fire her” (yeah, her rockets, maybe). Corporate lingo or innuendo? Hmmm.
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