Tired of the aural assault everytime you turn on the radio?
Do nightclubs give you The Fear?
Secretly daydream about you, Kurt Cobain and Shirley Manson in a room with nothing but a riding crop and a jar of honey?
...
Oh, that's just me then.
So. Janelle Monae. In Australia 'Many Moons' has recently been released on Radio and Television, and i kept tuning into this weird film clip with a robot catwalk of bunch of clones in assorted suits, sneering at a female-heavy mosh pit. With one doing some smick dancing on stage. Oh yes. I was interested. Especially as her (and her music) can only be described as 'futuristic electro-soul punk'. Fabulous! It plays like the soundtrack to a modern-day Jetson's. You know, like how in the 1960's The Future was everyone in silver clothes with electric blue hair dancing around their hip pads on the moon. This would be the music they'd dance to!
Originally from Kansas, she's signed with Diddy's (P.Diddy? Puff Daddy? Jesus, Diddy, keep the one name) record Bad Boy Labels, and has worked with Outkast. How amazing is that fusion? I'd love to see the love child between Janelle Monae and Andre3000, it'd be the coolest person to ever exist.
She also has a penchant for tuxedos, spats and the best hair i've seen all year. Clearly this is a person to watch, however she has been a cult internet hit for a couple of years already, which goes to show how good i am at picking up the musical zeitgeist.
Also, the girl is stunning!
Anyone who's comfortable in the LadyTux will instantly have my slavish devotion. Luckily, her music is great too. Check her out! do it.
What's with Hilary Duff all of a sudden? She went from the slightly pudgy Disney star to getting film clips banned from television. She's 'growing up' which is Music Industry code for when teen stars reduce their waistlines, clothing and pose naked at some point. What is it with the Disney kids, who hit about 17 and then break out in leather and smudged black eyeshadow? Much like Mandy Moore before her, you can't layer on the necklaces and convince me you've all of a sudden become edgy and cool. Wasn't she in Lizzie Maguire? and A Cinderella Story? Didn't she release a cover version of 'Our Lips are sealed' with her sister? And now she's prancing around a big house, decked out in clothes i would wear out, blindfolded and biting guys hands? What the hell, Hilary.
I don't know about the rest of you guys, but i find it very hard to get on board the mature disney stars train when they've spent their childhood in frosted eyeshadow, butterfly clips holding back multi-toned blonde hair, you know?
As for the banning/re-editing of the video, i'm not sure it was all that entirely out there. Violet Blue, my favourite sex blogger, calls it 'eroto-pop') Sure, if it were me, it's not something i'd want my grandmother watching, but, admittedly, she is an elderly conservative woman who would have a heart attack at what i get up to on a regular Saturday night, so there we go. It's actually not a bad song, if you take into account the fact that millions of teenagers are going to think the sample of Depeche Mode's 'Personal Jesus' is a new song (see: Rhianna with 'SOS') And we all should be happy that slightly offbeat fashion such as lace gloves and top hats are becoming more mainstream styles (I long for the day men stroll down the street in gray suits, lilac handkerchiefs tucked into their pockets) but i'd rather it be from a better artist than Lizzie Maguire herself.
In the past couple of years, perfume advertisements have been employing hot young actresses to float around in a pretty dress whilst a devestatingly hip song of the time plays in the background. Gone are the days where a bottle of Chanel No5 was in the middle of a poster for you, reminding you to buy a bottle for your aunt for christmas. Now we have Eva Green swinging from a rope
I don't even like the smell of Midnight Poison (it's too musky, it makes me think of maybe some cougar-esque woman who may have been great in the 80's but is now...not so much) but everytime 'Space Dementia' by Muse plays, i imagine myself swinging around in a big blue dress, perfume bottle clasped firmly in my hand. I've almost bought the actual perfume several times, before remembering i hate the scent itself.
The power of advertising! (or, maybe, i'm a sucker for a good campaign)
But apart from perfume, all the 'cool' brands have been using indie music to get a whole new target audience (we're looking at you, apple!) i liked Wolfmother's 'Love Train' one, because it wormed out my secret love of psychedelica.
The problem with these is that when a properly famous song/artist is used, they are'nt mere black shadows dancing in front of colours, as seen with U2 and Paul McCartney. The 'hey everyone is an equal shadow, dancing in a bizzarrely enthusiastic manner' is completely ruined. sigh.
But then again, if a more famous artist is used, the internet is crammed with self-righteous alternatives scowling at the fact that they had 'sold out' to the maaaan. Case in point: Jack White's Coke ad. Come on guys! The colours of Coke are red, black and white. It's pretty much the man himself, in liquid form. Plus, aesthetic reasons aside, if i wrote a song and it got used for an ad, i'd be psyched about the coverage and cash, woohoo!
This also happened with Sophia Coppola's 'Miss Dior Cherie' (yes, more perfume ads! i love them) 'ahh,' everyone thought, 'Sophia Coppola, this is going to be a pretty girl with soft hair in hazy focus doing Parisian things, oh look, there are those damn macaroons everyone orgasms over (not literally, of course. come on guys) oh look more cupcakes (why are cupcakes so in right now? they are a classic baked good, meant to be enjoyed forever. although i'm actually just angry that all hipster scum have been getting cupcake tattoos, as i have one and i'm now worried people are going to think i'm trying to be kikki kannibal or something. ugh, what a douche). oh ballooons. Oh look, more pastel colour schemes' and so on. But you know what? I had that exact same attitude, right down to the macaroons...god, i hate macaroons, but i was halfway through that thought process when all of a sudden THIS WAS THE BEST ADVERTISEMENT EVER! Why wasn't i cycling around Paris? (a. i can't cycle b. i'm in sydney) Why didn't i have cakes out the wazoo, to eat in whimsical sunglasses? It does help that this perfume is The Shit and i've been angling for it as a birthday present. yum.
And then there's the massive song tie-in's, a la Converse with Santogold, Pharrell and Julian Casablancas. On a related topic, who doesn't love Pharrell? I haven't met a single person who won't openly admit to shaking their groove thang when N.E.R.D is on. Brilliant. I love that sort of cohesion! Anyway, this was released as a song, and advertisement as part of the 100 years of converse. But they don't really have to try, do they, converse? i have myriad pairs scattered around my house, and you know i'm dying or the kurt cobain ones.
I love that we learnt more about the brand during this campaign. The idea that the shoe had been going for a century tickled my fancy, i loved thinking of badass flappers running around a baskteball court in cons before slipping on their dresses to Charleston through the night. I mean, i know that didn't happen, but give me my fake memories!
If you couldn't tell already, i'm a huge fan of advertising. where would we be without trying to remember jingles, or finding out what song is off that ad? It's what fills the days.
Who doesn't love a list? Seriously. Listing things is like my crack. Here are my top five most embarassing music-related items that everyone secretly loves. And, sometimes, not so secretly.
Welcome to the maiden voyage of Pop Bleach, where we (that's you and me, not the 'Royal We'. As much as i'd love to think it, i am most definately not a Princess!) will attempt to find out just what the hell happened to Music Today. It's a Joke. With a capital What-The-Eff
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