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The sex buddy.
What a scintillating concept. Anytime you feel your loins twitch and naughty flashes of primal pleasure flit through your mind, a phone call is all it takes to quench that carnal thirst.
But as two friends of mine recently found out, this concept isn’t for anyone vaguely in touch with their emotions.
Their trysts quickly crossed the line into potential boyfriend-land and began to get ugly.
I asked them if they believed they had remained within the unsaid boundaries of buddy relations.
“Yes.” They were very, very quick to point out. “But he said this, then he said that, then he did that so what was that supposed to mean??!”
Amused as I was, it got me thinking about how many people really think about these “boundaries” before they begin treading water in the pond of lust.
So I thought I may take a stab and see what you might have to consider if you ever felt the need to wander into the wonders that is the sex buddy.
Here are a few I came up with:
• Emotions are to be kept at bay- any of your baggage are for your mates, girlfriends and therapist
• Wining and dining are for relationships. The attraction of this arrangement is that the need for romance is replaced by a clear understanding of both participants’ intentions. It is sex. Nothing more, nothing less.
• Details of your relationship history, bad days at work, euphoria at landing that promotion are again for your mates, girlfriends and therapist. These may be used as cause for a celebratory afternoon session but keep it simple and keep the particulars out of it.
• Both parties are free to see other people. Jealousy needs a good kick up the backside or at the very least, stored under your bed and vented out to someone who is obligated to care.
• Apart from a great shag, there should be no other expectations. No. None.
• Tantrums. Just not on.
• Honesty is key with your buddy and especially with yourself- if you want more, and they don’t, pack your bags and walk.
• If you at any point on more than one occasion have to sit there and wonder- “What did he/she mean by that?!” Pack your bags and walk.
• Respect yourself, stay true to how you feel, remember and know your self-worth.
• Bail if you start to feel cheap. Bail if the both of you aren’t equal partners in this deal.
Whew.
Image coutresy of www.theage.com.au
I'm not too sure if I need to say too much about this.
Chris Brown has been convicted of assaulting his then girlfriend Rhianna. Assaulting her- aka bashing her almost to the point of no recognition, biting her, degrading her, slamming her head against the car window.
A month or so ago, he posts a little video up on the internet thanking his loyal fans and calling everyone else who aren't supporting him- "haters".
Doesn't sound too remorseful to me...but who am I to judge?
After pleading guilty, the courts give him 180 days of community service and placed him on probation for the next 5 years.
So if I think about this for a bit....he will still be able to make music, travel the world (unless this conviction hinders that slightly?), and still make BUCKETLOADS of money.
Wow. That's teaching him responsibility for his actions. That teaches him to respect people. That shows him and the world how seriously the court system regards violence against women and violence in general.
But hey, I could be wrong.
Please see link:
Really Long Link
Have I succeeded in pushing you away
In a mere moment
It seemed easier
I never intend to push
Does my craziness stretch your patience
One day will you walk
Should I escape before you may
Why is faith so hard to trust
Why is love so testing
Why do I love to love
Yet am scared to love
Why do I want to love
Yet feel like running when he loves back
Why is hurt easier to anticipate
Is it only I, that feels
That fear seems to shadow only my love
Will he stand by
While I work on my problems
Will he still love me
Should I fall a few rungs on the ladder
Will he allow me the time needed
To beat these consuming dark thoughts
Questions I seek answers to
Yet too afraid to really ask
Cowering in a shell
That’s protected me for too many years
One that I’m slowly shedding
Yet one that still offers a place to hide
One that I can’t bear to dwell in
Fear, I will slap away
Yet will he be there
On the day that I do
Faith, the most important to trust
Yet the hardest to do
Questions I want to ask
Questions that only time can answer
xx
I love flying. Everything about planes excites me, probably because it usually means I’m on vacation. The only thing about planes that irk me are the other passengers. I don’t dislike them all, just the ones that get seated next to me who are decidedly quite disgusting
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Sometimes there comes a point in life where you find yourself standing, soul exposed, at a forked road. The neon sign ahead reads- Relationships- this way to throw yourself into one, that way to run in the other direction
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Comment by Neems
on 2009 Can Just Go F#%! Itself
Koala Lounge
Truth Whisperer
But here's sending you lots of sunshine and good vibes to kick some good times your way and give the bad a bright kick up the arse.
This too, will pass!
Neems