Neems

Melbourne, Victoria, AUSTRALIA


Joined March 3rd 2008

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Mr and Mrs Dial-a-Screw

June 25th 2009 05:54



The sex buddy.

What a scintillating concept. Anytime you feel your loins twitch and naughty flashes of primal pleasure flit through your mind, a phone call is all it takes to quench that carnal thirst.

But as two friends of mine recently found out, this concept isn’t for anyone vaguely in touch with their emotions.

Their trysts quickly crossed the line into potential boyfriend-land and began to get ugly.

I asked them if they believed they had remained within the unsaid boundaries of buddy relations.

“Yes.” They were very, very quick to point out. “But he said this, then he said that, then he did that so what was that supposed to mean??!”

Amused as I was, it got me thinking about how many people really think about these “boundaries” before they begin treading water in the pond of lust.

So I thought I may take a stab and see what you might have to consider if you ever felt the need to wander into the wonders that is the sex buddy.

Here are a few I came up with:

• Emotions are to be kept at bay- any of your baggage are for your mates, girlfriends and therapist

• Wining and dining are for relationships. The attraction of this arrangement is that the need for romance is replaced by a clear understanding of both participants’ intentions. It is sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

• Details of your relationship history, bad days at work, euphoria at landing that promotion are again for your mates, girlfriends and therapist. These may be used as cause for a celebratory afternoon session but keep it simple and keep the particulars out of it.

• Both parties are free to see other people. Jealousy needs a good kick up the backside or at the very least, stored under your bed and vented out to someone who is obligated to care.

• Apart from a great shag, there should be no other expectations. No. None.

• Tantrums. Just not on.

• Honesty is key with your buddy and especially with yourself- if you want more, and they don’t, pack your bags and walk.

• If you at any point on more than one occasion have to sit there and wonder- “What did he/she mean by that?!” Pack your bags and walk.

• Respect yourself, stay true to how you feel, remember and know your self-worth.

• Bail if you start to feel cheap. Bail if the both of you aren’t equal partners in this deal.


Whew.





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Image coutresy of www.theage.com.au



I'm not too sure if I need to say too much about this.

Chris Brown has been convicted of assaulting his then girlfriend Rhianna. Assaulting her- aka bashing her almost to the point of no recognition, biting her, degrading her, slamming her head against the car window.

A month or so ago, he posts a little video up on the internet thanking his loyal fans and calling everyone else who aren't supporting him- "haters".

Doesn't sound too remorseful to me...but who am I to judge?

After pleading guilty, the courts give him 180 days of community service and placed him on probation for the next 5 years.

So if I think about this for a bit....he will still be able to make music, travel the world (unless this conviction hinders that slightly?), and still make BUCKETLOADS of money.

Wow. That's teaching him responsibility for his actions. That teaches him to respect people. That shows him and the world how seriously the court system regards violence against women and violence in general.

But hey, I could be wrong.

Please see link:

Really Long Link
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Love Scared

January 14th 2009 04:04


Have I succeeded in pushing you away
In a mere moment
It seemed easier
I never intend to push
Does my craziness stretch your patience
One day will you walk
Should I escape before you may
Why is faith so hard to trust
Why is love so testing
Why do I love to love
Yet am scared to love
Why do I want to love
Yet feel like running when he loves back
Why is hurt easier to anticipate
Is it only I, that feels
That fear seems to shadow only my love
Will he stand by
While I work on my problems
Will he still love me
Should I fall a few rungs on the ladder
Will he allow me the time needed
To beat these consuming dark thoughts
Questions I seek answers to
Yet too afraid to really ask
Cowering in a shell
That’s protected me for too many years
One that I’m slowly shedding
Yet one that still offers a place to hide
One that I can’t bear to dwell in
Fear, I will slap away
Yet will he be there
On the day that I do
Faith, the most important to trust
Yet the hardest to do
Questions I want to ask
Questions that only time can answer

xx
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Plane Passengers From Hell

January 13th 2009 02:19


I love flying. Everything about planes excites me, probably because it usually means I’m on vacation. The only thing about planes that irk me are the other passengers. I don’t dislike them all, just the ones that get seated next to me who are decidedly quite disgusting


[ Click here to read more ]
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MATURE CONTENT
   


Heart vs Past

November 28th 2008 05:14


Sometimes there comes a point in life where you find yourself standing, soul exposed, at a forked road. The neon sign ahead reads- Relationships- this way to throw yourself into one, that way to run in the other direction


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Germain Greer the twittering Crackpot

November 21st 2008 01:56


Please read this link: GREER RIDICULES THAT DRESS - Really Long Link
[ Click here to read more ]
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Chief Wiggum from The Simpsons once said-“Awww, nothing gets chocolate out


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Things I want to happen that never will but should:
[ Click here to read more ]
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Recent Comments

Comment by Neems
on 2009 Can Just Go F#%! Itself

February 26th 2009 05:42
Bloody hell- that's a crappy bout of luck.

But here's sending you lots of sunshine and good vibes to kick some good times your way and give the bad a bright kick up the arse.

This too, will pass!

Neems

Comment by Neems
on Indian women assaulted for leading Western lifestyle

February 16th 2009 05:49
India has come so far in so many ways but unfortunately it's only the very rich and the upper class and caste that enjoy any sort of freedom.

Cases like this aren't rare and that's the saddest thing. Go to any of the poorer areas and you'll find hundreds of incidences like this one.

Research how widows are still treated in parts of India, how being unmarried carries with it such a stigma that allows men to violate women's basic human rights.

Behind the glitz and glamour that the rich of India enjoy, the poor are the ones that suffer the most.

We can create an uproar but it has to be followed through with consistent lobbying of the government and financial aid to those organisations that are set up to fight against these injustices.

In a country of billions, it's very easy for these sorts of cases to fall into silent graves.

India is such an amazing place in so many ways, but the caste and class system, coupled with extreme poverty, lack of education, high level of corruption and exploding population make for a highly volatile environment for change to take place.

But it's so important to keep trying for even a drop in the ocean has the potential to create vast ripples!

Terrific post! I do hope this reaches the ears of everyone who want to make a difference!

Neems

Comment by Neems
on Angry Teacher Rips Student’s Cheek Off

February 6th 2009 05:56
Good God. She should have her cheek ripped off to see how it would feel.

Comment by Neems
on Insulting a woman to attract her? NO!

February 2nd 2009 00:25
That book- "The Game" is doing the rounds in Melbourne. I had a flick through and much to my amusment have had the SAME lines recited to me at two bars. I couldn't help but just cackled like a hyene in response.

Problem with these "pick up artists" is that they prey on women's insecurities and unfortunately it works on women whose self-esteem is teetering on non-existant and those who thrive on gaining validation through attention seeking.

Great post

Comment by Neems
on What If ... I Had Not Done...

January 14th 2009 05:45
Terrific post

'What If's' are my biggest fear if I'm really honest...especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I find that I learn from the past, but while I can control what i do and learn the lessons and live without regrets..the 'what if's' that the other person commits are the ones that I am most scared of.

I know you just have to accept it as part of the lesson you will learn as well, but it's still scary!

Again- this was a good post that helped me get through what I'm going through at the moment a little bit so thank you!

Neems

Comment by Neems
on Plane Passengers From Hell

January 13th 2009 23:50
I can laugh about them now!

But I'll never forget those teeth...*shudder*

Comment by Neems
on The Most Beautiful Slumdog in the World

January 13th 2009 00:46
Isn't that the truth heather! And you know what- that's sadly such a reflection of an aspect of Indian society. Superficial beauty there is regarded so highly and often totally eclipses beauty from within...but I guess that's also true for much of the world!

Neems

Comment by Neems
on The Most Beautiful Slumdog in the World

January 12th 2009 05:47
Good point! But I suppose sometimes even the best plots need a bit of added "oomph masala" to appeal to certain masses...and a beautiful woman certainly does the trick- even though it may not quite fit the character or situation.

The obession with "fairness" there is ridiculous...there are millions of Indians who are very light skinned and are actually not uncommon at all in the entertainment industry.

I need to go watch this film!

Neems

Hmmm that's a tough question. I guess 'small would be if it was really hard to get satisfied given you've tried a lot of ways.

If I was in love with someone, he was my best mate, our connection was just amazing and I could see growing old and still having a good chuckle with one another, then I wouldn't ever break up with him over this.

Sex is important- I won't deny it, but when you hold it up to everything else the relationship brings for the both of you, for me personally, I couldn't see myself throwing that away. There'd be other ways to bring the spice and half the fun would be finding out what that is I would think!


I have always thought that size matters...but after reading this article I realised the only reasons I thought it did wasn't through personal experience but what I've been told, what friends have made fun of etc.

I won't lie, I'd be worried, but then it all depends on what they can do and how confident they are. I'm sure as a couple you could find ways of rocking each other's worlds if you were both open to kind communication.