My Paramour
May 3rd 2008 05:37
I've never had love. Always lovers, but no true love. But I may be in the midst of a breakthrough as I've entered into a relationship with a man who shows me more tenderness than I have ever known.
Increasingly I've sensed that this man may be the one to rescue me from the solitude I've always known. However, more and more my insecurities have driven me from expressing to him that I have such fondness in my heart.
These insecurities are born from years of relations with no emotional attachment, which I have fine tuned to a near form of art. Being emotionally out of reach is a luxury I've treasured until now. There was always such comfort to be found in encounters that led to nothing but momentary satisfaction and abrupt disconnection.
I find myself now wondering if I am capable of truly opening the door to my heart and allowing someone inside.
A frightening adventure I've embarked upon, indeed.
Increasingly I've sensed that this man may be the one to rescue me from the solitude I've always known. However, more and more my insecurities have driven me from expressing to him that I have such fondness in my heart.
These insecurities are born from years of relations with no emotional attachment, which I have fine tuned to a near form of art. Being emotionally out of reach is a luxury I've treasured until now. There was always such comfort to be found in encounters that led to nothing but momentary satisfaction and abrupt disconnection.
I find myself now wondering if I am capable of truly opening the door to my heart and allowing someone inside.
A frightening adventure I've embarked upon, indeed.
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