Kerryn WoodMy Healing Heart.....
September 7th 2007 02:37
My Hurting Heart is Healing…
It’s been a few slow months now
And I am glad to say
That Monday’s are getting better
The pain is ebbing away
My heart still hurts, is heavy
The tears still flow, they’re free
But Monday’s are getting better
And so are my kids and me….
It’s still every second Monday, and I still have the inevitable ‘change-over’ to go through. I still feel heavy and sad as I kiss my boys goodbye and hand them back over to their dad - thankful that he is a more than capable and loving father - for this I include myself as one of the luckiest divorcee’s in the world.
And it still all starts on the Saturday afternoon and on into Sunday night; my thoughts intermittently invaded by inevitable events. The tummy still tightens, emotions still well, and the lump in my throat still grows and threatens like a menacing but unseen tumour.
However, the immense and intimidating power these side-effects of separation-anxiety and heartbreak have, have continued to subside in their mutiny against my body. I find now, after the healing effects of time and knowledge, that I am empowered; I have an inner renewed strength that offers a strange peace and calm.
Perhaps it is just time that is the healer here. Perhaps it is the perseverance, and the innate knowledge deep within me, that I knew a long time ago - that everything was going to be okay. Perhaps it is the help of friends, both experienced and not, that have come out from the shadows to offer help in any which way they can. A phone call, a hug, an assurance, an ear, an email, a cup of coffee - it’s the little things, when combined, make for one big almighty bridge with which I can find the strength to walk over each and every day.
So each second Monday still comes, still saddens me, and I still go through the motions. However, now, with each Monday, as I kiss and cuddle my boys goodbye, and I tell them numerous times how much I love them, I can also add that hey, it wont be too many more sleeps till we see each other again - and I tell them with supreme confidence that yes, everything will be alright - that, I can promise.
My heart is indeed big enough to take on anything now, and I can feel the cracks repairing as I reverse out of the drive way, wipe a few tears from my eyes, and return to the now strangely quiet home no longer filled with the laughter and play of my boys. But that wont last long - and for that, I smile broadly through those tears and I remember to indicate as I turn the corner for home.
It’s been a few slow months now
And I am glad to say
That Monday’s are getting better
The pain is ebbing away
My heart still hurts, is heavy
The tears still flow, they’re free
But Monday’s are getting better
And so are my kids and me….
It’s still every second Monday, and I still have the inevitable ‘change-over’ to go through. I still feel heavy and sad as I kiss my boys goodbye and hand them back over to their dad - thankful that he is a more than capable and loving father - for this I include myself as one of the luckiest divorcee’s in the world.
And it still all starts on the Saturday afternoon and on into Sunday night; my thoughts intermittently invaded by inevitable events. The tummy still tightens, emotions still well, and the lump in my throat still grows and threatens like a menacing but unseen tumour.
However, the immense and intimidating power these side-effects of separation-anxiety and heartbreak have, have continued to subside in their mutiny against my body. I find now, after the healing effects of time and knowledge, that I am empowered; I have an inner renewed strength that offers a strange peace and calm.
Perhaps it is just time that is the healer here. Perhaps it is the perseverance, and the innate knowledge deep within me, that I knew a long time ago - that everything was going to be okay. Perhaps it is the help of friends, both experienced and not, that have come out from the shadows to offer help in any which way they can. A phone call, a hug, an assurance, an ear, an email, a cup of coffee - it’s the little things, when combined, make for one big almighty bridge with which I can find the strength to walk over each and every day.
So each second Monday still comes, still saddens me, and I still go through the motions. However, now, with each Monday, as I kiss and cuddle my boys goodbye, and I tell them numerous times how much I love them, I can also add that hey, it wont be too many more sleeps till we see each other again - and I tell them with supreme confidence that yes, everything will be alright - that, I can promise.
My heart is indeed big enough to take on anything now, and I can feel the cracks repairing as I reverse out of the drive way, wipe a few tears from my eyes, and return to the now strangely quiet home no longer filled with the laughter and play of my boys. But that wont last long - and for that, I smile broadly through those tears and I remember to indicate as I turn the corner for home.
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