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My Daily Rambles - by Max Ride

New Life, New Challenges

January 9th 2010 03:31

Wow, it's already 2010. It's been over 16 years since I was born, and so much has happened to me. I lost both my parents by 15 years old, I have been molested, I have fought past suicide, and I am still fighting past my self-destructive habits. I have gone from someone who believed in nothing and held no religious views to someone who is the complete opposite. In this last year or so, I have finally begun to realize who I am. It's weird that it took all this time, all this pain, to realize who I am, and I still don't fully know who that person is. I am a girl who has faced the dark, felt the fear, and turned to the light, and embraced the good in the world. I am in a word, a survivor. I was placed in a position where I could have let my situation rule over my life, turn me into a victim, take over my world, but I chose to push past it. I am my own person, and yes I still have my weak moments. I still have moments where I want to die because it would be so much easier. But the point is I am still alive and kicking ass,

Some may be wondering why I wrote this. Attention? Boredom? Lack of a life? Well I wrote this because I can. But I also wrote this because I know there are people out there who have suffered from what I have suffered from and some who have been put through so much more, and I want them to know that they are not alone. If I can make even one person feel like they have a chance in life, then my goal is fulfilled. I just want people to realize that although life is full of pain it is also filled with beauty, love, and joy. Some people may hate me and tell me that I am a goody-two-shoes who is asking for attention, and all I have to say to those of you who think that, I am sorry. It was not my intention to anger you. But I am not sorry for postiong this. Because who knows, someone sitting at home may stumble over this post and feel better. That's all that matters to me. That is all that matters period.

Hope everyone has an AMAZING 2010 and I hope everyone is able to live up to their new years resolution!

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Upcoming Posts

July 20th 2009 04:19

I just recently got back from a catholic trip to Steubenville. It had to be one of the most amazing trips of my life. I have never felt so connected to others before, it was truly amazing. I haven't posted anything in a long time. But soon enough I plan on posting a bunch of posts all dedicated to COPS and police survivors. It will range from my experience to what they are all about. So get ready!

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National Police Week

May 9th 2009 23:59

Many people don't know that National Police Week begins on May 15. I don't blame you, neither did I! But JFK announced that every May 15, all government buildings that owned/had a flag pole was to lower the flag to half mast. Unfortunately this tradition has been forgotten by many. It is a sign of respect to fallen officers, officers who put their lives on the line to keep us safe. So please, help people become more aware and tell whoever is in charge or that sort of job about it. Do it to honor those who died to protect you, I know I will be doing it for my father.

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I need help

March 5th 2009 04:34

I need some help.... my dad died in November of 2008. He was the first Shaumburg police officer to die in the line of duty so my entire family knows. What i mean is that when my mom died when i was 5, my mom's side of the family disappeared for 10 years. I thought they were dead! Then at my dad's funeral they showed up and acted like they cared about me!!! I don't know how to take any of this... and I still haven't been adopted even though I am living with my step-mom. I don't want to contact them because they could try to take my brother and I away, basically because they want the money from my Dad, but at the same time I want to know why they abondoned us. Plus on top of that I am dealing with school and my dad's death. If anybody has any advice please share it because I feel like I am losing my mind!

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Things I wish people told me

October 20th 2008 03:35

I wish someone told me:

It's ok to cry

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Music Now

September 16th 2008 17:31

I know a lot of people have made mention of how music is only about three things now a days.
1- Sex
2- Drugs

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I have something I need to say

August 2nd 2008 01:08

I haven't written on here in forever, but to come back and see how many votes I received is amazing. But that's not what I needed to say. What I do need to say is this: I was molested. In one of my earlier osts I wrote about how I liked a boy whose name is Kyle. Well we went out a few times and I really liked him, and I thought that he liked me. Apparently I was wrong. One day, in November of 2007, he called me and begged for me to come to his house for a party. I had told him I couldn't go but he kept begging. I had never had a boyfriend before and I didn't want to lose him, so I begged my dad to let my brother take me. when my brother dropped me off nobody was there. Figuring that I was just early I went inside. Now I wish I had turned back.
Kyle brought me down into the basement, which wasn't unusual because he and I had been down there before and I thought that I could handle myself. Dalton was there, my classmate and his "best frines." At first we just hung out and then went into a small area under the stairs where a few bean bags were. I made sure that I was on the outside so that I could get out if need be. But sometiem while we were sitting down, Kyle and Dalton pushed eachother around and I ended up in the middle, and eventualy on my back. Kyle, my boyfriend at the time, held down my arms while Dalton straddled my waist. I used to wear a sports bra with a hoodie over it. Not as a fashion statement but I don't like my body and the hoodie covered up my stomach better. But it was too hot to put on a shirt underneath, again, now I wish I had.
Dalton shoved his tongue down my throat, literally, while he unzipped my hoodie. Then he basically groped me while grinding on me with his tongue in my mouth. I might have been able to get out faster if they hadn't been so huge and Kyle was on the wrestling team so he was pretty strong. I don't know how many times I said to stop when Dalton removed his nasty-ass tongue from my mouth but the never listened

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Gay Marriage

October 21st 2007 08:57

We were talking about it in CCD. (AKA the dumbest idea ever!) Everyone says that being gay is wrong. But is it really? Isn't love supposed to exist no matter where or who you find it in? I personally think that if your gay and your have a nice personality, then your absolutely fine in my book. Then they said that it was against god's will or something like that. But god never said, "Thou shall not be gay nor like anyone of the same gender." He 'said' that we're supposed to love eachother no matter what. So if we 'hate' gay people, then aren't we disobeying his 'rules'? I would really like to know your opinions, and I hope that you comment.

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Comments.

October 14th 2007 03:24

I know people are reading this, but why aren't you commenting? I will not post anything of importance, or nothing at all, until I start getting comments. Especially if I ask for advice.

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Question: Guys

September 24th 2007 01:28

OK, this is going to sound so self-centered! But oh well! I like this one guy, Kyle, k? Well everyoine, and I mean everyone says that he likes me back and that we look cute together. With me so far? Well I don't know if he likes me, and we're friends, so I don't want to tell him and make things weird between us if he doesn't like me back. What should I do? I want him to know, but I am afriad that it'll ruin our friendship! I don't know if I should even care, but I would like to know your opinions. So please guys you're welcome too! Just give me some advice.
P.S- sorry if this stuff annoys you, I don't normally do this, but I am really REALLY desperate. So sorry!

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