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January 23rd 2007 09:00
Mumma Mumma - by Couch Pumpkin
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20th January 2007
January 20th 2007 01:32
Highs and lows over the last few days. It seems every year, my husband - Mr Ambitious, and I claim "this will be the year that everything runs smoothly. No dramas, no huge life changes" and it seems every year we have a huge life change and/or drama within the first month! This year was has been no exception.
Last week both Mr Ambitious and I were offered full time roles that were great jobs with pretty good pay for our experience levels. There was a moment where niavely I thought "great! Our careers are off!" and somehow thought we could both accept the jobs. I didnt even think about the $600 a week we'd have to pay on child care! I was quickly slammed by my appalled man who in the heat of argument told me my feelings didn't matter and the reality is that I can't take the job and need to just wake up to reality. there were tears, pillows thrown across the room, silences, and a double marital bed that suddenly seemed to have a distance in the middle to rival the Gobi desert. I did everything domesticly and did everything for the kids in those few days, assuming that was it in terms o my career. Obviosuly his career is what our family are working towards, and if that means I have no career whatsoever than so be it, because even if I reach senior level in my industry, I will never earn as much as he would.
Goodbye dreams. Hello resentment and bitterness.
but not to be. Mr Ambitious had a think about my point of view and realised what a great opportunity I was been given. And that the longer my career is on hold means the longer that I will be taking 35k per annum jobs and competing against childless 19 year olds in the interviewing process. So began the great debate. Which job should we, as a family, accept. Much debate. Many long hours and finally we got out pen and paper and created a pros and cons list for each job offer. It was so obvious staring at the paper that he should take the job - a job with one of the major TV networks, doing nearly exactly what he wants to do when he finishes his studies. Perhaps this is exactly what Mr Ambitious always knew and felt, and only did the list for my slow benefit. To ease me int the fact that yes, my career will be put on hold for another year because of the unchangeable fact that I carry our child, that I have breasts that create milk, and because my earning power isn't so strong at this moment.
More and more life is really showing me exactly what everyone is talking about when they discuss how hard it is to be a professional woman. From being called 'sweet heart' and 'babydoll' at work, to not ever being able to hide the fact that you are pregnant and just carry on at work, to being called 'the secretary' by your workmates, even though what you actually are is the "PR officer"...
Last week both Mr Ambitious and I were offered full time roles that were great jobs with pretty good pay for our experience levels. There was a moment where niavely I thought "great! Our careers are off!" and somehow thought we could both accept the jobs. I didnt even think about the $600 a week we'd have to pay on child care! I was quickly slammed by my appalled man who in the heat of argument told me my feelings didn't matter and the reality is that I can't take the job and need to just wake up to reality. there were tears, pillows thrown across the room, silences, and a double marital bed that suddenly seemed to have a distance in the middle to rival the Gobi desert. I did everything domesticly and did everything for the kids in those few days, assuming that was it in terms o my career. Obviosuly his career is what our family are working towards, and if that means I have no career whatsoever than so be it, because even if I reach senior level in my industry, I will never earn as much as he would.
Goodbye dreams. Hello resentment and bitterness.
but not to be. Mr Ambitious had a think about my point of view and realised what a great opportunity I was been given. And that the longer my career is on hold means the longer that I will be taking 35k per annum jobs and competing against childless 19 year olds in the interviewing process. So began the great debate. Which job should we, as a family, accept. Much debate. Many long hours and finally we got out pen and paper and created a pros and cons list for each job offer. It was so obvious staring at the paper that he should take the job - a job with one of the major TV networks, doing nearly exactly what he wants to do when he finishes his studies. Perhaps this is exactly what Mr Ambitious always knew and felt, and only did the list for my slow benefit. To ease me int the fact that yes, my career will be put on hold for another year because of the unchangeable fact that I carry our child, that I have breasts that create milk, and because my earning power isn't so strong at this moment.
More and more life is really showing me exactly what everyone is talking about when they discuss how hard it is to be a professional woman. From being called 'sweet heart' and 'babydoll' at work, to not ever being able to hide the fact that you are pregnant and just carry on at work, to being called 'the secretary' by your workmates, even though what you actually are is the "PR officer"...
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Comments (2)[ Link ]
Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
Lawd how we going to survive?
January 10th 2007 00:02
Ok so I am plodding along like every thing is fine and dandy but it sure isn't like that. January is tearing past at lightening speed and it is seeming less and likley my boss is going to ask me back at the end. Although I am officially on paid holiday time I went into the office yesterday to pick up my mail and check our emails...
There wasn't much...
It's obvious there are no new clients, and no0t really any prospect of any for awhile. Our big campaign that we should work on in 2007 is slipping off into the distance as my boss has seemingly decided that it's too much trouble and money to run it - we still haven't been paid for the work we did for them in 2006!
So today I went into our family budget and in February I punched in all the details, making sure to leave my weekly income as $0 and guess what?! Each week we are short $150 to pay for bills and rent ect. FARKKKK! What the hell we going to do?!
I am so visibly and stupidly pregnant no one is ever going to hire me for any job... And yet i still have 3 whole months before the baby comes, and we not going to financially survive that long without me having income... boohoo....
There wasn't much...
It's obvious there are no new clients, and no0t really any prospect of any for awhile. Our big campaign that we should work on in 2007 is slipping off into the distance as my boss has seemingly decided that it's too much trouble and money to run it - we still haven't been paid for the work we did for them in 2006!
So today I went into our family budget and in February I punched in all the details, making sure to leave my weekly income as $0 and guess what?! Each week we are short $150 to pay for bills and rent ect. FARKKKK! What the hell we going to do?!
I am so visibly and stupidly pregnant no one is ever going to hire me for any job... And yet i still have 3 whole months before the baby comes, and we not going to financially survive that long without me having income... boohoo....
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Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
Interview
December 14th 2006 04:41
I am really dragging my big bum into the office in the mornings now. It just seems pointless... What difference does it make if I am on time or not? Only four more business working days and my time on the island is up. It's not like i am doing anything constructive for the company anyway - more like eating up bandwith while I search www.seek.com.au mycareer.com.au and careerone.com.au and generally waste time on msn messenger.
I sit here feeling more depressed by the hour. Contemplating life with one (small) income and FIVE family members. I remember how mum seriosuly told us that we need to get housing commision. I apply for all these great jobs and secretly hoe none of them get in contact becasue I can't imagine the humilaition of turning up to permanent interviews with my pregnancy body on full display for everyone[ Click here to read more ]
I sit here feeling more depressed by the hour. Contemplating life with one (small) income and FIVE family members. I remember how mum seriosuly told us that we need to get housing commision. I apply for all these great jobs and secretly hoe none of them get in contact becasue I can't imagine the humilaition of turning up to permanent interviews with my pregnancy body on full display for everyone
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Read More[ Link ]
Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
Been Awhile
December 13th 2006 02:13
I have been so slack with posting, I got a bit disenchanted as to why I was dedicating so much of my time to a blog that hardly anyone reads, no one cares about, and that I don't get paid for. Really i should spend more time chasing the arts, my children and a better wage. But there's something about throwing my words out there into the mysterious cyber land tha cleanses my soul.
I missed it[ Click here to read more ]
I missed it
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Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
pay review time
October 17th 2006 11:19
Gawd... It's pay review... My first time ever.... This is my first 'real' job and I have been there for 6 months already. I can't believe it. I really doesn't seem so long ago that I was creeping into my husband's armpit and saying "I'm going to fail! They are going to realise I don't know ANYTHINGGGGGGG!" Now look at me - six months and a lot of impressive work (according to me anyway) under my belt. The learning curve has been amazing and I honestly think I couldn't have done much better.
But when my boss starts talking about pay rises and part time I get nervous. How do I do all this negotiations? I'm sorry but UN meetings were not regualar reading for me as I grew up and this whole concept of economic bartering is a bit beyond me. Honestly, I always pay too much in Hong Kong - I know I could get better, but I just don't want to bother arguing over 10 cents when they are staring you down like you are just a waste of precious resources and space. Afterall, in the space that one Westerner stands, you could fit at least two spritely Hong Kong locals[ Click here to read more ]
But when my boss starts talking about pay rises and part time I get nervous. How do I do all this negotiations? I'm sorry but UN meetings were not regualar reading for me as I grew up and this whole concept of economic bartering is a bit beyond me. Honestly, I always pay too much in Hong Kong - I know I could get better, but I just don't want to bother arguing over 10 cents when they are staring you down like you are just a waste of precious resources and space. Afterall, in the space that one Westerner stands, you could fit at least two spritely Hong Kong locals
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Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
Vegemite snacks
October 13th 2006 01:06
O my gawd my diet has gone crazy! I have seem to have gone off meals - turning my nose down at dinners and lunches and instead choosing to snack allllllllll day long.... I figure logically I am probably eating about the same amount of food but I still feel disgusting. I yell at myself "Stop stop stop!!! Shut the mouth!" but I keep on wandering back to the fridge or my stash of crackers in my drawer at work.
Every ten minutes something is going down my throat[ Click here to read more ]
Every ten minutes something is going down my throat
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Posted By: Couch Pumpkin - Category: maternity
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