The distance grows
January 30th 2007 23:18
I am concerned for my marriage.
I am having de ja vu. The way our life is now functioning with Mr Ambitious working during the day, and then going to lectures at night only to lock himself in the study when he gets home seems all so familiar. It took some thought for me to realise why it seemed like I had been through this before, and it's because I have.
When Skinny-Mini was born it was nearly exactly the same scenario. I stayed home looked after Skinny-Mini and cleaning the house. I would map out my day in terms of naps and television, counting down each programme until Skinny-Mini's father - Mr Pony would return home. I'd hear the keys in the door and my heart would lift. "finally some companionship... Some relief" I'd be thinking as he'd stride past me with his guitar and lock himseld in the spare room to practise his music theory lessons. This routine, combined with post natal depression and our age (19 years) doomed the relationship and it was a mere nine months before I left Mr Pony and rented myself a bachelor flat.
Now I see it happening again. Mr Ambitious is always so busy and so important that me and the children are left functioning in our own little world seperate but paralell to his. Yesterday I took Skinny Mini to his first day at his new school, sussed out the area, took Miss Furious to day care, cleaned the house, did two loads of laundry, picked up the kids, cooked dinner, bathed them, did homeowkr and put them to bed. Then I did the dishes and cleaned the house so that when Mr Ambitious came home after classes at 9pm everything was perfect and taken care of. Did he care? Apparently not. Did he sympathise that my body aches and I have been having fake labour pains all day? Nope. He was snappy, and instead was irritated that I had washed one of his shirts that should have been dry cleaned.
I am having de ja vu. The way our life is now functioning with Mr Ambitious working during the day, and then going to lectures at night only to lock himself in the study when he gets home seems all so familiar. It took some thought for me to realise why it seemed like I had been through this before, and it's because I have.
When Skinny-Mini was born it was nearly exactly the same scenario. I stayed home looked after Skinny-Mini and cleaning the house. I would map out my day in terms of naps and television, counting down each programme until Skinny-Mini's father - Mr Pony would return home. I'd hear the keys in the door and my heart would lift. "finally some companionship... Some relief" I'd be thinking as he'd stride past me with his guitar and lock himseld in the spare room to practise his music theory lessons. This routine, combined with post natal depression and our age (19 years) doomed the relationship and it was a mere nine months before I left Mr Pony and rented myself a bachelor flat.
Now I see it happening again. Mr Ambitious is always so busy and so important that me and the children are left functioning in our own little world seperate but paralell to his. Yesterday I took Skinny Mini to his first day at his new school, sussed out the area, took Miss Furious to day care, cleaned the house, did two loads of laundry, picked up the kids, cooked dinner, bathed them, did homeowkr and put them to bed. Then I did the dishes and cleaned the house so that when Mr Ambitious came home after classes at 9pm everything was perfect and taken care of. Did he care? Apparently not. Did he sympathise that my body aches and I have been having fake labour pains all day? Nope. He was snappy, and instead was irritated that I had washed one of his shirts that should have been dry cleaned.
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