Mr Teddy
September 25th 2008 02:35
Well this is a continuation of Nothing Land. A screenplay I want made into a film. But because people in the film industry would rather make remakes of Robin Hood rather than original scripts, I'll turn it into a novella. And then get letters from the literature industry telling me to write it into a screenplay? Yossarian!!! The insanity of modern life.
I'm over writing stuff that is market designed. I just write stuff down as it comes to me nowadays. If people don't like it? I'm not holding a gun at their heads making them read it. If you have a weird, dark, black, sick sense of humour? You'll get it. If you don't. Mary Poppins is available on DVD.
Mr Teddy.
I would never blame, Mr Teddy, for becoming a serial killer. He was my only real friend in life. And he wasn’t even real. He was a teddy bear.
He was the only person, without being a person, who ever listened to me.
He was the one who came up with the terms Daddy Human and Mummy Human.
Dumb animals who don’t even have intelligence but only animal instinct, have more ‘intelligence’ than humans. What chance a stuffed toy? It might be why St Anthony of Padua preached to the fishes. It might be why Christ decided to be born with a dumb ass and a dumb ox next to him in a stable. He found them more intelligent than humans?
I’ve been told that all these conversations I had with Mr Teddy were just voices in my head, but who doesn’t have voices in their head? Don’t we all have conversations with ourselves all day long. People wake up in the morning and start talking to themselves. They say things like, ‘Bloody alarm. I don’t feel like getting up.’ Etc.
From what I’ve learnt since being in prison, there’s only three sources of these voices in our head. God, the devil and ourselves. Distinguishing between the three and working out the source is the big dilemma. Maybe that’s what life is all about? Working out who it is we’re actually speaking to?
Prison is good. You don’t have to tear around getting to work in a bigger-and-better car than your neighbour, and proving you’re a financially independent hero to people who don’t give a shit anyway because they’re so self-absorbed with trying to prove the same thing to you. And will take out another loan to get a better car than you? And, at the end of the day, you both go home and go, ‘No-one cares? Not even my neighbour?’ And then you end up not caring? Because not much is worth caring about?
Anyway, me and Mr Teddy used to have these really good conversations with each other. Mr Teddy was the only one I ever knew who saw things like I saw them. I know he wasn’t God. But maybe God was speaking through him because he was sick of trying to speak to humans through other humans? Because humans no longer listen? The Gospel according to St Mr Teddy? Or maybe God is trying to speak through me and finally get his message through that he never gave dolphins or whales intelligence? And that if you spend your life saving whales and dolphins and whales, your children will turn into serial killers because you don't care about humans as much as you do about animals. Now that's something worthy of thought. "Doctor, I can't make my abortion appointment today. I saw on the TV that there was a beached whale? And I have to get my priorities right in life?"
People might think it a bit strange to have a conversation with a Teddy Bear but people talk to God all the time. And no-one has seen God. At least I could see Mr Teddy. So there you go. That’s worth a bit of a thought.
People talk to the devil or Satan all the time. They just don’t realise it? That’s also worth a bit of thought. Most of them think they’re talking to God. That’s worth more than a bit of thought.
But a lot of people don’t have their own thoughts any more. The media tells them what to think? While Rupert Murdoch lives in luxury, he speaks to everyone living in poverty? And wants them all to have Foxtel in their homes? So he can preach the holy gospel according to Rupert? And while Bill Gates lives in his mansion, his dream is to put a pc in everyone’s house so that people forget completely about what simplicity is all about? And all dream of being as rich as he is? And take lotto tickets, when even if you won Lotto you’d only have a hundredth or a thousandth of his wealth. Yeah, that makes sense to the logical and rational mind. Not.
I might be insane. I might not be. But at least I have my own thoughts. When they’re not from God or Satan. Or Mr Teddy himself. Coming back as a reincarnated Teddy? Another trick of the devil. A demonic Teddy disguised as a Teddy of light? Even Mr Teddy can’t put thoughts into my mind. I formed my own a long time ago.
Boy, people are dumb. And proud. They appropriate other people’s sayings to themselves all the time. Just to big note themselves as intellectual giants. What a bunch of tossers.
Lock me up and throw away the key. And, I’ll dream of a childhood where I didn’t have to read bedtime stories to myself, or sing my own lullabies. . Oops. Too late. It's already happened.
If you have good parents? Or semi-good ones? Get down on your knees and thank God, because it’s the only thing that will prevent you from becoming a serial killer or suiciding.
I know people will kill me in jail. I just know it. They will see me as a monster. The way the media portrayed me.
But I was someone’s child once.
PS: I’m a bit pissed off they won’t let me have a teddy bear in jail. I’m sick of talking to myself.
Even God has a sense of humour. He created me.
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Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Contrary to what non-writers on Orble think of my writing skills? I can write.
It's the one skill in life I have supreme confidence in. It's why all the attacks from pretender hacks, wanna-be's and never-was's just wash off my back like virtual water off a virtual duck's back.
One day, I'll meet a woman like you who appreciates what I have on offer. Her version of foreplay will be some tantalising text? Or a bit of a verbal laugh? Or me laughing at her in her nakedness? Because I laugh at my own first. If you can't laugh during sex, you're not doing it right.
Let me know when you're single, okay?
Comment by Damo
What about a corset?
Good stuff.
You need a guerilla film crew to make it for you.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
On an aside?
Thanks for the debate on your blog.
It took me a while to get into it, not due to cowardice but because I shy away from apologetics nowadays, but I do have to say, I enjoyed putting my brain back into gear. It's been a while.
I don't like bringing a lot of personal shit into here. I'd rather leave it at the virtual Orble door. But I did enjoy the fact that you pulled me out of my lethargy. I thoroughly enjoyed the debate once I got into it.
I still have no idea who SLB is though. But I guess that doesn't matter. I have a handle on you. And always enjoy the exchanges. As long as you don't punish me as much as you do in private. Okay? [na, it's my way of saying well done for doing what you did ...
Comment by Damo
If you read my words correctly I never insinuated cowardice. I may have used the term fear. But fear is natural and can be overcome. Fear is a normal and welcome prelude to kicking ass. BTW you did kick ass in the debate.
Two types of writers I put time aside for.
Those who have talent,
And those that put in the effort.
I was just trying to elevate the level of Orbling up a slight notch. You happened to be that ladder.
Comment by Louie
Climate Red
randomthoughts
Phil's Wellness Tips
surely a serial killer story has commercial appeal in this day and age given everybodies obsession with CSI etc
then again i guess its not reality TV......
cheers
Louie
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
It's all okay. I equate fear with cowardice. I accept that you don't, and had no intention of meaning cowardice when you used the word fear.
In the recesses of my mind is what St John said. "Perfect charity casts out fear." And what seems to make us most fearful as humans in this liife [apart from death itself] seems to be speaking the truth. Maybe at times I'm a bit harsh on myself, because I rarely shy away from the truth as I see it, even if it does [and has] cost me nearly everything.
As to the debate, I'll leave it up to other people to judge who kicked arse. ("Everything is bottoms to you Americans!" - Basil Fawlty from the Fawlty Towers episode 'The Americans').
I believe people should be as gracious in victory as they are in defeat. And I'm not claiming either. To me? It was a worthwhile debate that got the rusty cogs of my brain turning over again, and SLB played fair. There were no personal insults or any of the stuff that can be rampant on sites like this.
So I'm grateful to you for organising and moderating the debate and to SLB for agreeing to participate in it.
If it helped raise the bar or ladder on Orble? Then it was a more than worthwhile exercise.
There's some great minds on this site.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I have the same problem every time I go to write a comment on someone else's writing. It's one of the hardest things to do.
I like your approach. Just tell them that from the beginning.
It's funny, but it's taken me a long time to write relatively unedited. Yet whenever I do write that way? People like it more than my edited writings. So maybe there's a lesson in that for me?
Glad you liked it. And thanks for the compliments.
Comment by Norm
Consumption Malfunction
Equal and Opposite
Arses and Elbows
Footy Power
Comment by Damo
The debate had only winners as far as I was concerned.
As for the question of fear; I think I will let Bryn corner that market. He does it so well.
Now I am off to do what ever it is that I do.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I'll do my best to stick around, but stability and me aren't the best of mates.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I'm glad it turned out that way. And that you see it that way.
It was a bit of an effort after not having written much for a while. Or should I say, not having written much remotely resembling serious for a while?
And yes, Bryn can deal with fear. I'll go along with that one.
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
I am hopeful we can have a very stimulating intellectual relationship....We all need more friends right? And I wont slap you for perving.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
I'd say we had quite a stimulating intellectual relationship already.
As for friends? We certainly need some loyal ones, that's for sure.
What's the point of perving if I'm not going to get a few slaps out of it?
Comment by Kleonaptra
Kalikapsychosis
This is why I love coming to your blog. When you are on it.
You always make me laugh. Genuine laughter, which is something I so seldom do.
Comment by Lady Henrietta Muddling
Potter in a Harry
Well that's got to stop. What will people think? That we're happy?