Movie Mall

Melbourne, Victoria, AUSTRALIA


Joined September 1st 2008

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About Me
Ah. Well ... I attended Juilliard ... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT

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You remember how that Simple Minds song went, 'don't you ... forget about me ... don't, don't, don't, don't ... don't you ... forget about me'. Well, we sure as hell haven't forgotten, nor have we forgotten about the movie it featured so prominently in - The Breakfast Club - especially if you're a child of the 1980s, like myself.

It was the seminal movie for a generation, a teen cult classic. Representatives, or stereotypes, of every class of kid at your local high school coming together on the big screen and rising up - or just getting high - to stick it to the man, in this case the principal.

There was of course the 'Jock' (EMILIO ESTEVEZ), the 'Rebel' (JUDD NELSON), the 'Nerd' (ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL), the 'Misfit' (ALLY SHEEDY) and the 'Popular Girl' (MOLLY RINGWALD), all in detention at the fictional Shermer High School for an entire Saturday for a variety of reasons.



Claire Standish (the princess) ditched class to go shopping; Brian Johnson (the brain) brought a flare gun to school in order to kill himself after failing shop class; Andrew Clark (the athlete) taped up a kid's ass cheeks to impress his father because his dear old dad; John Bender (the criminal) pulled a fire alarm; and Allison Reynolds (the loner) claimed she had "nothing better to do".

After initially getting under each other's skin in both amusing and confronting ways, despite their glaring differences, they each eventually open up to one another and are forever bonded by their experience together.

Well, on February 7 it will be a full 25 years since The Breakfast Club had its premiere in Los Angeles. So what better time now to see how its members have turned out.

Director JOHN HUGHES, the king of teen comedy in the '80s, once said he planned to make a sequel to THE BREAKFAST CLUB every 10 years, like a high school reunion. It never eventuated, and probably never will, especially with Hughes passing away just last August 2009.

Guess this will have to do >>>.




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He's definitely performed better than the last A-list American actor to portray a genuine British literary or mythological legend, but there is still a question mark over Robert Downey Jnr's Sherlock Holmes.

Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, and love him in most things he's done. Maybe not that 'thing' in the toilet a few years back, but throughout an at times turbulent 25-year career, his acting has remained at a very high standard. He always brings so much 'character' to his characters.

And it continues with Guy Ritchie's highly enjoyable, entertainingly light-hearted, if not totally amazing take on the Sir Arthur Conan Doyle creation. There was a Golden Globe Best Actor Award this week to show for it after all.

However, while I except it may have just been me, I do have one small gripe, and that is I honestly needed sub-titles at times throughout the film when the brilliant detective was speaking. Just a few moments when I needed to do a bit of my own deducting to work out exactly what he was on about.

You could give Downey Jnr, and director Ritchie for that matter, the benefit of the doubt, and look at it another way - that's Sherlock Holmes in this Sherlock Holmes, an eccentric, a quick thinker and a quick talker to boot, to the point of becoming a mumbler.

You can usually look past slightly dodgy accents. Sam Worthington's in Terminator Salvation (2009) and Avatar (2009) weren't exactly 100 percent American either. But, it does become a bit of a problem when you can't actually understand an entire conversion.



But, at least Downey Jnr had a go at becoming 'really' British and that's more than I can say about Kevin Costner who turned Robin Hood into a posh-sounding Yanky swashbuckler in Prince of Thieves (1991).

And, despite that slight speech flaw - and I reiterate, it was only at certain times - the 44-year-old has certainly re-affirmed his status of being well and truly back as a cinematic force.

Just his sheer presence, his undoubted charisma and his comedic abilities made him ideal for Tony Stark aka Ironman, and (almost) perfect for Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes, and ultimately (almost) perfect to be bringing the most famous sleuth of the 19th century into the 21st. A bit more clearer with his lines and he'll be there.

Sherlock Holmes, the movie, was by no means a cinematic force itself, it's short of being great, and hardly matches the likes of Ritchie's Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) and maybe even Snatch (2000) and RochnRolla (2008), but really gets the job done as an exciting Sherlock Holmes movie, and in particular a Sherlock Holmes movie to kick-off a Sherlock Holmes series.

The twists and turns are more out of the Sherlock Holmes textbook - and maybe that of Scooby Doo - than Ritchie's trademark intertwining storylines, with the detective recalling his adversary's moves and where he went wrong in his fiendish plot.

But, the real kicker for me was an ending that sets up a sequel perfectly - in fashion very similar to Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins (2005). But more on that later.



Back to Downey's Holmes, who we first see as an alraady well-established and well-known detective in London in 1891, used by both Scotland Yard and the general public, and with the help of his long-time companion, Dr John Watson (Jude Law) captures the devilish Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), a practitioner of the black arts.

It is to be Holmes and Watson's last case together with the latter preparing to move out of 221B Baker Street to start his own business and marry Mary Morstan (Kelly Reilly).

Holmes has other plans such as drinking, taking cocaine, yes, taking cocaine as it wasn't illegal at the time, and competing in bare-knuckle fighting - and winning I might add with his amazing ability to construct and then execute a plan successfully. He's also pretty handy at the martial art Wing Chun.

This is certainly a different Sherlock Holmes to what people have been accustomed to. But, it is said to be a lot closer to the mark of Doyle's original crime-fighter from 1896. He was a skilled amateur boxer, and did inject cocaine - apparently as a way to stimulate his mind while he's not on a case.

In Doyle's stories, Watson, who narrates most of them, describes Holmes as "bohemian" in habits and lifestyle, an eccentric, with no regard for contemporary standards of tidiness or good order.

Watson himself is also closer to Doyle's vision of a revered former army surgeon and experienced in combat - he's good with a sword - not the more 'rounded' version, or 'fat bumbling old man' as what some have described Nigel Bruce's Holmes from the popular 1930s films.



Law, whose diologue I can understand fully, does a great job of the loyal sidekick who is dragged into one scrap after another when he is trying to break free of Holmes' shackles. There is some great banter between the two leads, and some almost sexual innuendo about their particular relationship. Holmes, you see, just doesn't want to let go. There is a soft side to a hard exterior.

At one point, Holmes says "You've never complained about my methods before", to which Watson replies, "I've never complained! When have I ever complained about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess, your general lack of hygiene, your experiments on my dog, or the fact that you steal my clothes?"

They are an odd couple, but by god they work. They are brought back together from the brink after Lord Blackwood has apparently risen from the grave after he was hung and declared dead by Watson.

The Satanist continues to resurface, and when he does prominent bodies, such as those who lead secret society The Temple of the Four Orders, start turning up dead and in seemingly supernatural ways. It is all part of Blackwood's diabolical plot to not only take over merry old England, but also reclaim the United States following its Civil War.

Of course it's up to Holmes and Watson to investigate whether what they are dealing with is really evil forces they might not be able to control or a more logical enemy they can outwit, outsmart and outplay. It's not so much a 'Who dunnit?' but a 'How'd they do it?'

The fun and games take place in a very believable Victorian London, with great sets intertwined with some great CGI visuals that really add to the moody atmosphere, especially during a tense finale when Holmes and Blackwood duel on top of a partially-constructed London Bridge, overlooking a partially-constructed city.



Ritchie, who's provided us with a real stylish picture, does well to also highlight Holmes' intellect - his most famous quality, in particular his powers of observation and deduction - with his ability with his fists ... and elbows, and in one early scene combines both at the same time.

It happens while he is taking on a brute in the ring during a bare-knuckle fight and appears to be beaten ... until he envisions his step-by-step strategy for defeating his opponent, who has just spat on him, all in slow-motion.

"First, distract target," we hear him think, before he throws a handkerchief into his rivals' face. "Then block his blind jab. Counter with cross to left cheek. Discombobulate." Holmes does this by slamming his hands into both sides of his opponent's head.

He continues, "Dazed, he'll attempt wild haymaker. Weaken right jaw." Holmes deflects his opponent's attempted punch and cracks him in the head with his elbow. "Then fracture.” Holmes lands another punch on his jaw. “Break cracked ribs.” Holmes slams a fist into the ribs. “Heel kick to diaphragm." Holmes finally kicks his opponent through the doors of the ring.

He then adds, "Summary: ears ringing, jaw fractured, three ribs cracked, four broken, diaphragm hemorrhaging. Physical recovery six weeks. Full psychological recovery six months. Ability to spit at back of head neutralized."

We then see the actions again, only this time in real time, for real, and suffice to say, Holmes wins the bout - and collects a tidy little reward after betting on himself. Like I said, this is a different Sherlock Holmes but there is certainly no less in the brains department.



This terrific moment epitomises the film with enough going on to keep both sets of audience happy - those wanting to see punches thrown, guns being fired and shit getting blown up, and those who might want something a bit more creative and witty, something intellectual.

The story itself is lacking just a little more oomph though, that extra bit of wow factor, and that might come with an added emphasis on a better villain.

Strong is a brilliant actor and now popping up everywhere, including Nottingham in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood (2010) with Russell Crowe, but as Lord Blackwood he was a tad underused in Sherlock Holmes, the movie. He certainly won't be in any sequel, but the end of the film gave a tantilizing insight in to who might be.

Like in Batman Begins when a Joker card is presented to the Caped Crusader, setting up The Dark Knight (2008), it is revealed Holmes' long-time nemesis Professor Moriarty has been lurking in the background of the events that had just taken place in Sherlock Holmes the movie.

We learn he is the one who sent Holmes' ex-flame and constant thorn Irene Adler (played by a very so-so Rachel McAdams) to cause a distraction, and it seemingly worked, Moriarty taking off with some valuable technology once the property of Blackwood.

Word has it pre-production for Sherlock Holmes 2 begins in March, and the strong rumour has Brad Pitt being lined up to play the devious Moriarty. He was after all believed to be responsible for his voice this first outing.

Pitt goes alright with the foreign accents, though his Gypsy in Snatch was a little hard to understand. Then again, it might've just been me.

RATING: 7
The deductions aren't quite as good as my tax accountant's, but there's no great mystery as to why this has succeeded. It's elementary.

This review brought to you by Rogue Joker

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District 9 out of this world

February 1st 2010 01:14
District 9 review


Borrowing from cult sci-fi favorites such as Alien Nation and Enemy Mine new sensation District 9 (2009) is another fine example of taking a less than unique idea for a movie and presenting it on the big screen in an entirely unique way.

While it has suffered from the tall poppy syndrome since its release 10 years ago, The Blair Witch Project led the way when it came to making a realistic film about not-so realistic themes.

From first-time writer-directors Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez, the movie we see is the footage that was supposedly shot by three student filmmakers before they disappeared into the woods near Burkittsville, Maryland, while making a documentary about the infamous - and totally made-up - witch.

Apart from the fact it left me feeling a little ill due to the shaky hand-held camera-work by one of the actual actors – not to mention sitting in the bloody front row of the cinema - The Blair Witch Project succeeded because it also felt like what we were witnessing could really have been the genuine article.

Primarily, it didn’t follow the normal run-of-the-mill movie formula, and it was that much more believable, and ultimately spooky, for it. We didn't see a whole hell of a lot, but what it was that that one lone camera didn't capture made the viewing all the more frightening.

Many filmmakers have followed the lead of The Blair Witch Project since and given new perspective to the zombie flick, the monster movie and the ghost story – ie. the Spanish made Rec (2007) and its impressive American remake Quarantine (2008), the underrated Cloverfield (2008) and the recently-released Paranormal Activity (2009) – among a host of others.



While alien arrival films have never been in short supply, especially since Steve Spielberg has been at work – think Close Encounters (1978), E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) and War of the Worlds (2005) – District 9 turns the genre on its head and gives it a big spin.

A brilliant sci-fi drama that looks at the very serious issue of racism while at the same time entertaining through some very subtle humour and some fantastic action, District 9 uses that ‘one (shaky) hand-held camera’ effect, but not exclusively, as it combines the best of what is actually a number of worlds to create a believable one - even if it features cat-food eating aliens.

It sets up proceedings in smartly-done, quick-time fashion, in documentary or ‘mockumentary’-style ala Christopher Guest’s Spinal Tap or Best in Show, explaining just how a race of alien refugees, nicknamed Prawns, came to be living in the slums of Johannesburg, South Africa.

Through various 'experts', as well as the everyday man and woman on the street, we learn that in 1982 a giant alien ship began hovering over 'Joburg' - and would remain stationed there to this day.

After breaking their way into the stranded UHO (unidentified hovering object), the military discovered that it was occupied by almost two million starving arthropod-like extraterrestrial beings living in absolute squaller.

These ETs might be wanting to phone home, but didn't have enough sense to remember the number, let alone bring an actual phone, so they were transported directly below, to the ground where they are given asylum in a confined area of the city called District 9.



However, by 2010, when the film is set, the private company that is now in charge of policing the area, Multinational United (MNU), plans to relocate the 1.8 million 'Prawns' to a new camp, District 10, 200km outside the city limits.

It's all due to increasing problems associated with the restless aliens and the frustrated humans living on each other's doorstep. Neither, alien nor human, are the friendliest of creatures after all.

As we discover, the 'Prawns' that were left aboard the stranded ‘mothership’ were the low-level workers of their society who could not operate properly without some sort of leadership. And their leaders had gone.

Though at various times some of them take part in the odd riot, armed with their unique weapons only they can operate because of their DNA, the brutish 'Prawns' are what you might call more than anything anti-social and are kept relatively in check by a constant supply of the cat food they now crave.

Adapted from writer-director Neill Blomkamp's own short film of 2005, Alive in Joburg (which also used the mockumentary-style to great effect), the basic premise used in both the six-minute and much more extravagant 110-minute version was inspired by events that took place in South Africa during Apartheid in the 1960s when 60,000 blacks were forced out of District 6, Cape Town, after it was made a ‘white’s only’ area.

Like the short, the film cleverly deals with xenophobia and social segregation, but also brings in more pure science-fiction elements, particularly after the MNU go to enforce the relocation of the 'Prawns'.



At first there is a seamless intertwining of watermarked footage from the MNU's own security cameras, both CTV and hand-held (ala the aforementioned Blair Witch), with what you might call normally-presented movie footage, before the latter takes over.

But it's no less fascinating, with the focus on the odd but entertainingly over-the-top MNU field operative Wikus van de Merwe (played by brilliant newcomer Sharlto Copley) who is given the dubious duty of trying to get the 'Prawns' to sign their individual eviction notices.

It's a tough job, Wikus at one stage getting a reply from one angry alien resident to 'fuck off!' in its own native clicking dialect. Things go horribly wrong for Wikus when he opens a suspicious canister in the shack of a Prawn we later come to know as Christopher Johnson, and a black liquid sprays into his face.

Within a few hours he is being admitted to hospital after his left hand transforms into a Prawn's hand – a predicament borrowed heavily from classic horror The Fly (1958) and its remake (1986).

It turns out the liquid, now confiscated by the villainous authorities of the MNU, is actually vital fluid used to power a missing command module that would allow the mothership to become operational – and allow the aliens to get the hell out of town.



It is up to the slowly mutating Wikus and the intelligent Prawn Christopher to reluctantly join forces and try and recover the canister. After escaping the clutches of the MNU, which plans to vivisect him after discovering he can now use the advanced alien weaponryt ey want for themselves, Wikus escapes and finds sanctuary in District 9, of all places.

There he reacquaints himself with Christopher - who it is revealed has secretly been working to get that ‘missing’ command module in working order - and the pair deal for their lives; Wikus promising to get back the canister; Christopher promising to get Wikus back to normal.

While the film itself steadily transforms into something a little more normal in presentation, it remains brilliant cinema, Blomkamp using some impressive special effects, as well as genuine South African slums as a backdrop, to ram home that realism even during an absorbing action-packed finale.

The CGI aliens themselves look great and have come a long way since Alive in Joburg when they were nothing more than actors in prawn masks and wrapped up in blankets and coats, like ET on Elliott's bike, while that vision of the hovering mothership is spectacular in appearance.

Offered up after a film adaptation of video game Halo Blomkamp was to helm fell through, producer Peter Jackson’s $30 million has been put to good use, putting the icing on the cake of what was already an intriguing story from the South African-born filmmaker.

Considering District 9 has made over $100,000,000 at the US box office and over $200,000,000 worldwide, expect a sequel sometime soon, most likely named District 10. I can’t wait to visit.

RATING: 8.5
The state of the alien nation is bloody entertaining.


This review brought to you by Rogue Joker


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Rare horror treat finally surfaces

January 12th 2010 10:43

For all the crap that is churned out by the Hollywood processing plant, it makes you wonder why a clever little horror film like Trick 'r Treat is left on the studio shelf for almost two years after production completed to gather dust - and a bad reputation.

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Testing

November 13th 2009 14:37
Testing
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The Worst Vampire Movies Of All-Time

September 16th 2009 10:09

Vampire movies have been around almost since the dawn of movies. The entire genre has proven to be harder to kill than the bloodsuckers themselves - no matter how hard some have tried over the years.

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Almost 400 years after his death, the work of The Bard, the great William Shakespeare, continues to be adapted for the big screen at an amazing rate - by all and sundry.

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REMAKE is becoming a real dirty word. Just about every time I hear it these days I shudder. ‘Shit, what next?’ I think to myself. What movie next will those unimaginative, unoriginal Hollywood producers get their mitts on. Well, now they’ve gone way too far. Way, way, way too far.

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In Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character describes itself as being a cybernetic organism. We know his type better as simply ‘cyborgs’.

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Recent Comments

Comment by Movie Mall
on Coming Out of the Closet

July 3rd 2009 03:13
I've never told anyone else this but ... I've always been a big fan of 'You Win Again', from the late '80s, their non-Saturday Night Fever days.

Comment by Movie Mall
on An American Werewolf in Remake … Sadly

June 30th 2009 09:20
Yep, I've been dreading this.

Movies that you just can't possibly top should be left the hell alone. But you know what they're like these days - anything and everything.

If they must tamper, I would prefer a Werewolf in London prequel, maybe tracing the original from the original, if you know what I mean. But, really, just let sleeping wolves lie.

As for Alien, they are planning a prequel
Look here

Comment by Movie Mall
on 9 'Gun' Films Featuring Bank Robberies

April 12th 2009 23:33
Hey John,
Dog Day had to be - brilliant movie.
Didn't mind Out of Sight, but then you've got bloody J-Lo in there, which brings it down a peg.
Couple you mentioned I haven't heard of, let alone seen - Riffifi and Charley Varrick - but have been meaning to check-out The Getaway for some time.
Thanks for reading.
Cheers

Comment by Movie Mall
on Melbourne - Victoria's prize shit-hole

April 12th 2009 11:50
Sums up the cesspool that has become Melbourne perfectly. Scum Central. Such a shame. Even going to the footy is not what it used to be.

But, I guess, one person's trash is another person's treasure.

Comment by Movie Mall
on The Bucket Snipet of... Catwoman!

March 30th 2009 05:35
That's brilliant!.
Absolute pisser!

Comment by Movie Mall
on RETROSPECT: ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968)

March 23rd 2009 11:08
Fantastic review! Fantastic movie!
Only saw it for the first time the other week.
I've been watching one of these Leone 'Spaghetti Westerns' each Saturday afternoon.
Once Upon A Time absolutely blew me away!
You summed it up perfectly. There are so many levels in a pretty simple story. The images are amazing. The music ... goes without saying, plays a huge part.
Love how Bronson's 'Harmonica' is a kind of Angel of Death. Just brilliant.

Comment by Movie Mall
on Witches' Kitchen

March 22nd 2009 12:15
Got a few people I'd like to use the voodoo doll on ...

Hey, I had a chicken schnitzel from there today too!
And it was bad too...

Comment by Movie Mall
on 7 Unlikely Actors Who Have Become Superheroes

March 18th 2009 07:13
Hehehehe ... and what a star he is Earl!
Well done son, much better.
MM

Very well done on the interviews guys ...
I'm very jealous. Does sound like it was a lot of fun.
Though lucky Ackerman was there to balance it out. Could've been tough without her, just dealing with Morgan.

Read Watchmen for the first time about two years ago and have been waiting patiently for the movie ever since. With a week to go I'm at boiling point.
MM